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Wednesday, October 31, 2007 @ 8:22 AM
Yesterday night was one bad night. like bad as in BAD as in the Big Bad Wolf kinda Bad. seriously though, it seemed like just one misfortune last night. All rolled into one big snowball. You know how snowballs just grow bigger and bigger kind? Yeaps. ok, crap. I am just sooooooo sorry about yesterday okay matt! I am sooo sorry!! as in sorry!! urgh. hahah. oh. btw, she called, and you picked up I think what unknowingly? hahaha. drink what ah? rum isit? hahahaha. and I heard something about bunnyhopping and road blockers..despite myself, I had to smile at that. (= I think my bodyclock went haywire or some sorts. I cant sleep in later than 7 no matter what time I sleep, be it 4 last night. why 7? cause that's the time my bro wakes up and make a whole lot of noise before peace reigns again when he goes to school. haha. he doesnt have his hols yet lars. haha. as a matter of fact, he is sitting for his last paper today. Knowing my brother as well as I do, I can predict the results arent gonna be too pretty.hehehx. seeing as he has been joining me on the couch for korean serials, and he has the comp on and he is playing the comp more than me. haha. at least I get some work done okay. he is slacking more than me! haha. what nonsense that is. ok. but the thing is, even if i force myself to go back to sleep, I cant clock it up, cause it is just very disturbed kinda rest. hahaha. not one you would like. as in seriously. haha. weird dreams. veryvery weird. off for tackling my hols hw. sickening.XP such a controversial word.
Tuesday, October 30, 2007 @ 10:09 AM
was playing around with quizzes with matt last night. really entertaining(=
Are You More Yin or Yang? like notice the FIRST WORD!! I was o.o
I thought this was funny. EYE POWER!~ kill kill kill. eh sherilyn! I dun need gun also can bangbang!hahaha. we did many more, but ohwells. go and click around. it is rather fun in a twisted way. especially when you are a guy, and you go and do quizzes like what kinda bra are you.X= hinthint!
@ 9:58 AM
I am staring at my holiday homework, and I swear, I havent touched anything. I took out history, read the question, and cursed under my breath. Like zomg, the school's obviously forcing us to read the textbook. lucky me I put my collection date as early as possible. (= mom is out with the excursion team, which she had tried to drag me along, but much as I like little kids, taking them on heritage tours might very well change everything. like..a bunch of monkeying little boys jumping on the bus, and dragging their legs to seem as their is an elephant between them and the person in front? ahh. no thanks. tried it once, it is more exhausting then debating comps seriously.XP cause someone's bound to hear me cry. I finally told someone about what I have been suppressing. hehehe. and as I expected, that person didnt try to judge me on the sanity of my decision. heheh. though the statement made gave me a start. haha. It just didnt seem to be that way to me at that time. ohwells. repreprep. must uphold in small circles. and as i said, i probby will win this game. -grins- (= coz the guy that sweeps you off your feet will most likely drop you the hardest is it not? I know, cause I learnt it the hard way. -grimances- and i swear that my mom is trying to feed me like 20 meals a day.XP i am gonna gain 20kg after a week!
Monday, October 29, 2007 @ 3:43 PM
I must be ultra slow or something, but e message that I will be at home for most of the day for err..2 and a 1/2 months has just sunk in. omggg. so no more crawling up in the morning, no more craziness in the day. omggg. my mom has just got into her head that gerald's chinese should be brought up to a higher standard. for those unaware, my mom is a home chinese tutor, yes. ouch. i am going crazy soon i think. i joined the game of beach ball with my juniors, the p2, p3s ones while my mom chatted with other aunties waiting for my bro to come out from school. hahaha. they still remember me. surprising, i thought only the older ones would.(= they are so amusing. hahaha. they were eyeing me for awhile before daring to ask me out loud. hahaha. do i look so fierce?! hahaha. so here i am posting since i am so bored, and that is the only thing i ever do when i am bored or when i am going mental. hahaha. i have just realised the full potential of imeem, and have been listening to random tracks. hahaha. seriously, go to imeem and type sad and you actually get rather nice songs.(= currently listening to: phantom of the opera.(=
hahaha. omgg. everyone around me, including my mom, yes I actually got her to do it but, that is besides the point, they all got professional GF. I am so abnormal. hahaha. another thing is anyone who knows me knows I am a very stubborn person, and I aint very understanding..so yeaps. this quiz is so funny. hahaha. i posted it only for you guys to get the link and go and click around. hahaha. it can occupy you for a while..at least.(=
Sunday, October 28, 2007 @ 10:43 PM
 spot the names! credits to chester! hahaa.
@ 10:04 PM
loads to say but ohwells. i am such a lazy person..hehe. SAID comp is over, and learnt alot. The adrenaline that pumps just before you enter, the butterflies fluttering in your stomach as your turn nears, and the slow calm that overtakes you when the debate begins. The ground that you gain as you slowly establish your points and takes POIs or decline them politely, all the while trying to smile and appear friendly, acting sure of your case, of your points, even if you arent. debate at it's highest point. bonds at its best. building of experience, being awed by the better speakers, and wondering if you would ever be as good, be better than them. respecting your seniors more, for the sure way they carry themselves on the floor, for the way they can carry it off with absolute sureness, and last but not least, helping us when we are panicking. before the debate agains KC X, the words spoken, the tap on the shoulder helped alot..it seems an insignificant action, but to an anxious person, ohwells, it just helps.(: church was fun, though i seriously had considered ponning it when i awoke with a splitting headache, realised that my throat was so sore i was croaking, and burning eyelids. smsed everyone i knew that would be affected by my absence, and plonged back to bed.awoke half and hour later, and went anyway. (X i am such a good girl. the voice improved considerably after drinking honey. and wells, panadol and off to the busstop. I MIXED UP THE TIME OKAY! i though worship started at 10:00, when it started at 10:30! omg. haha, stoned at 2nd level..(X eastcoast was fun.(: veryvery fun. haha. lucky i went. haha. the rain made us wet, haha, and it drizzled throughout the whole day. but did we have fun. picspics go look for the blogs. too many things to type but here was a joke that chester told us on our way out. what did the sea said to the sand? he didnt say anything, he just waved. -.-
Friday, October 26, 2007 @ 10:12 PM
 &they are the ones who make life great.
@ 9:55 PM
e-learning day, also known as self declared slack today.(: however, I wasnt at home, or shopping anyway as I think the general cedar population was.(: I was at VS, having my comp. Being a clumsy old freak, maluating myself, panicking and not writing properly cause mu hands were trembilng horribly, and having LOADS of fun.(= HAHA,i was trying to SMILE throughout the debate. talk about failing miserably.(= VS is such a pretty place.(: pretty as a picture they say. and i agree. and it is so HUGE. the view's fantastic. sad, didnt take pictures. haha. tomorrow, tomorrow. good exposure, and tried things i would otherwise flinch from.(X I dunno. Maybe it's the thrill, maybe it's the fun, I dunno, dun give a care. all i know is, debate is <33. face="Arial" color="#666666"> tomorrow is the continuation. shant say anything bad here. but ohwells. i enjoyed myself, and that's what matters at the end of the day.(= cedardebaters hurray!
it hurt. seeing you there, and you treating me as an invisible person. person? ohno. it was creature. i forgot. the moon's bright and beautiful tonight. remember what you said? it's all too late now. far too late. much too late. it was all false, a pretence, a fake. all i wanted was you to stand beside me. but today..seeing you there was far too much for me to handle. i tried to hide it. i tried, i reallyreally did. i tried matching the chills. i tried. i failed. across the room, yet the waves of hate can still be felt. was it me? I dunno. I envy those. but that is not my fate. not now. not ever? a question unanswered, a point left unclarrified, assertions and assumptions. you know why? cause as with all other cases, proposition never defined the keyterms properly, and a proper definational challenge was never issued. point of information sir..i never said those things.
@ 12:10 AM
 no more clocktower after PRIME.sure will miss it.):
Thursday, October 25, 2007 @ 11:55 PM
Today's the last day of sec1'07. My first year in secondary one, tears and laughs, silly jokes to ignoring each other, and we came through, as one group, as a class. 1H'07, we may not be the best class, we may not be e most cooperative class, but I m proud to say : school wont be complete without all of you. (= debate comp tomorrow.(: i am nervous needless to say, but I am still looking forward to it(: shall see___. wahahahas. I must be mental, i suddenly just went to imeem and typed disney, so now I am just listening to all the songs from there. hahaha. suddenly remember watching videos with exco. all e disney fans. hahah. didnt particulary like them, but majority often won, and we watched all these. throwing pop corns and messing up the place, cushion fight, and so much more. guys, i miss you so much. life isnt ever happily ever after, and this i cant deny. off to finish up.(:
Tuesday, October 23, 2007 @ 8:39 PM
 cuddle me the way you would a child. that's all i am asking for. my cousin fell asleep on my lap! so cute!
@ 8:22 PM
Had fun today. last session of cyber wellness, and I must admit, what I expected was to be a bore your guts out and snooze on the table session turned out to be quite interesting and engaging. didnt learn much of what I already knew, but it does serve as a reminder. and maybe, that's what ultimately matters. went out with chicken lau and chicken chiong, and sherilyn came along.(: icecream<33> stoned for a longlong time on the stone bench and traced characters onto it. i can almost visualise... past has past. snap out of it. i didnt get in. no pupil leader for me.(: poohja owes me adersens!!
Monday, October 22, 2007 @ 8:57 PM
haha. this is soooo random. was researching the CPF motion we had, and came across this blog I found rather interesting.(= http://kwayteowman.blogspot.com/ he has alot of rather interesting povs on different matters, and though the intro makes himself sound crude, he has many a good points, and many a good answers to the people who leaves comments on his posts. which to be honest, is once in a decade or something.-.- in reply to someone called nonameclown, that i sadly cannot access, it being locked. I picked and selected from a single comment and his reply what I think is right though it may not be right to you: " Not every problem can be articulated clearly. Not every problem has a solution. In fact most answers merely lead to more unpleasant questions (or answers). " Sadly, you are probably right. However, question is: how do we go about solving problems that we cannot articulate? " This old fool hopes that one day Singaporeans would decide that "what that can only be seen with the heart" can be more important that the material stuff. 'Cos a morally bankrupt society can never be "happy" " The KTM unfortunately disagrees with you that we are morally bankrupt. Firstly, morals is a relatively subjective (and personal) thing and you cannot go and say to someone, "my morals are better than yours, you should adopt mine". Secondly, Singaporeans generally do have a heart, i.e. you see the outpouring of help for Huang Na and the widower of man who jumped onto the MRT track. The KTM believes that the problem is that Singaporeans are quite "lost" and they dunno what they want and what they are doing in life. Generally, they just get swept along by the tide and do what everyone else does (or worse, what they think the Garmen thinks they should do). The KTM believes that only after people are able to sort out their lives, can they truly look outwards and figure out what they want to do with the world around them. Is this too cynical an outlook? Finally, the KTM doesn't think that "heart" is what's lacking. What's lacking is a sense of curiosity and the discipline of critical thinking. Perhaps this is a result of too much spoonfeeding in our education system? i must say though. i disagree to the spoonfeeding.-frown-
@ 6:54 PM
finished a whole novel in school today. does this show how bored I was? not? ok. even wrost, enrica was imitating isabel's every move in mirror image, atop two tables. freaky is a nice word to use here.X= scary what boredom does to the mind. It makes your mind turn to things that you would rather have said: oh? did it even happen? haha. and irony. these were not too long ago were they? irony indeed. originally had to train alone when i met estee. hahhahaha. so amusing. when highness comes in contact with boredom, out pops out incoherence stuff. not all were crap though. something about what estee said told me that someone was in biigg trouble.)= but the ensuing discussion was funny and hahhahah, incoherence, particulary due to me. (= met wenfang at east point after waiting, for excuse me, but nearly 45 mins!I was close to jumping from the highest level in east point for being sooo bored. lunched(or was it dinner?) and went for exm, where I had another healthy dose of crap. so interesting my life. crap here, then crap there. wahahahahahs. came home, and felt my heart sink when i heard about M. N and M, treasure each other. might be a rough patch ahead, but preserve on. not all are so fortunate to know they can always fall back and trust someone far enough to know that they would be caught. but as always, MUTUAL RESPECT. ok. i am rambling again. rambleramble, crapcrap. someone hit me. hahaha cant believe it. but you actually sounded jealous? -falls over laughing-
Sunday, October 21, 2007 @ 6:09 PM
went to play badminton with cell group yesterday. chickenlau and dorcas didnt go, and I didnt know. so only me, hx, the two bros and shien. -.- was fun. played singles and doubles, with two against three. wahahas. it is so amusing. haha. wah. right hand shaking lahs. hahahahaha. played at simei, so when we came out for supper, it was super funny to see hx's hand trembling so much he couldnt pick up his food. (= see! i stronger lar! i can pick up ok! I also realised that I cant hold my ground any longer in arm wrestling. ggrrr. I need to develop arm muscles! church was okay. sermon was ok. though I was veryvery restless. weird. hahahah. lunch was ok, bs was okay. though we had the: would you help someone who had backstabbed you before, my answer is still no. I know I ought to have said yes, in spirit of the lesson, but too bad. I dont believe in giving politically correct answers, and I dont believe in lying. So there. Unless I really can do it, I will never ever say yes. ): I am such a badd girl, I know. ): Plans have been made for next Sunday. wahahahas. yeah! eastcoast! dun want code to wear FBTs lar, i got ugly legs. hehehe. caris is dragging me to eastpoint to buy her FBTs. hehehe.(= tao yan. sure kena one, eeee. hahaah. are you reading this? haha. I am so bored out. bored out flat. went clicking around blogthings again, but I promise that after I finish posting, maths. sighs.
Saturday, October 20, 2007 @ 6:09 PM
BLUE IS LOVE 1. do you like someone? mhms...I am keeping mum. 2. do you believe in love at first sight? errr. no. sadly. haha. so drama serial! 3. have you ever loved someone so much that it hurts? haha. RED IS ANGER 1. are you currently mad at someone? I cant stay angry for more than 2hours. so no.(: 2. which of your family members has the worst temper? my younger brother. haha. spoilt rotten by us.(X 3. have you ever thrown something at someone? haha. i didnt lose control of myself to THAT extent..thankfully.(: it would have been fatal. 4. is anyone mad at you? errr.i do hope not. YELLOW IS SELF DISCOVERY 1. name? Geraldine 2. what is your career plan for the future? err. too many. haha. and too irrealistic 3. what's your main goal in life? to sleep more.(X 4. do you want to have children? not in the present lars! i am 13 for gawd's sake! ORANGE IS EXCITEMENT 1. has anyone thrown a surprise party for you? haha. yes(: i am one fortunate girl(; 2. if you won a million dollars, what would be your first thought? i wont ever. so no point killing my brain cells. 3. if you could have anything right now, what would it be? err. i wont. so no point thinking. GREEN IS OPINION 1. lower the drinking age? yes and no. depending on state, societal norms in that country and if there is a need for it. 2. abortion? firm no. dont want the kid, dont do the act. simple. unless it poses a risk on the mother's or child's health. 3. war? mhms. depends. but generally if it is the "fight for peace", I say, go to hell.(X 4. global warming? this isnt a matter of opinion seriously. it is a MUST. PURPLE IS Q&A Q: how many beds did you lay in today? A: I only have one bed. Q: what colour shirt are you wearing? A: black Q: name one thing that you do everyday? A: blink Q: what website(s) do you visit? A: blogs,and whatever I am supposed to be researching at that point of time Q: do you have plants in your room? A: cactus Q:does anything hurt on your body? A: my hand's still shaking from badminton last night.=P Q: do you own a camera phone? A: cant live without it.(= PINK IS LAST 1. last movie you watched in the cinema? Secret by JayChou. loved the music. crazy story though. illogical. but sweet all the same(X 2. song you listened to? How to save a life by Fray 3. person you talked/texted on the phone with? Talked: Shermaine Texted: Poohja GREY IS TODAY 1. what are you doing tonight? dreaming 2. what are you going to eat? dinner. food. lols 3. where are you going to be at 2 a.m.? floating in dream land BLACK IS FOR TOMORROW 1. tomorrow is? as usual; a school day. 2. are you looking foward to it? not really. neutral 3. are you going to laugh? It's a daily event 4. who are you going to be with? cedarians 5. do you want to change that? why on earth should I? 6. do you have a crush? why this again! 7. when's your birthday? 1st feb. i want something people! 8. are you happy with life at the moment? neutrality Rules
Friday, October 19, 2007 @ 11:23 PM
 watch as your fingers speak. watch as another joins you, only to end on a jarring note. listen. life isnt and never ends on a perfect I IV, I VI cadence. It always is interupted, or imperfect. ours - never made it past the first chords.
@ 11:03 PM
schools is average. as usual. best practise day, otherwise known as cca day today. not much. wandered around the school like aimless soul with tianqi before meeting up with bel they all. should have taken pictures of the err not so er innocent images onion and enrica were err creating of tianqi's irregular shaped balloons. hehe. shocking.(X  isnt she just adorable? WAHAHA. i m SOOO gonna get killed!cyberwellness wasnt THAT bad. though it was rather like going through stuff we did in pri sch. interesting websites were given though. and the quiz was fun. haha. 80% okay! haha. proves I m a logical person. hehe. going back was another thing. wahahahas. exercise! haha. nevermind estee! it is the thought that counts is it not? haha. (X i love train rides back with those two. laughlaugh chatchat. hehe. ought to try to pry state secrets from estee. hehe. (this is an attempt to get her to tag and say something. coz she's a silent reader! SCARY kkay! no point with mal, she doesnt read blogs.(:) haha, the person i m addressing this to that person know hor. hehe. still tell me nothing hor? lie ar. i smack you ar! haha. if you havent read, your name is all over her blog. hehe.(X ok. this is so super random. arghh. feels damn weird okay! hahahaha, i suddenly miss my coral seniors..): this is sooo supersuper random. ahheeemm. someonesomeone owes me icecream from andersons'! ohh? oh where oh where is my ice cream, oh where oh where can it be? hahaha. i see someone laughing. (: yesyes. ferlinda! my icecream! i m loanshark you know!<3> i need a hug.): onion! come my house and hug me NOW! i dont care!-stomps feet and acts like a spoilt brat which i am- i want huggies. oh grow up gerald. now shuttup and go sleep.(: hi bed, here i come!
Thursday, October 18, 2007 @ 4:21 PM
 I would hold it in the sky
@ 2:40 PM
suddenly reminded of the past as I went blog surfing again. hehe. what does this show you? geraldine is bored. veryvery bored. hehe. I just realised I have evil debate seniors. hehe.. evil senior1: Joy Priya- cause she started it by saying that I m a evil junior. hehe. evil senior2: Chandini- cause she always tease me for being a sec1! XP evil senior3: Estee- she is evil. dont ask me why. she is evil in her own evil way right? hehe. (X evil senior4: Poohja- haha. she is evil coz i say so and because she says i m a evil junior! evil senior5: Jolene- cause she is my partner! hahaha. evilsenior! haha. SEE! i have such badd seniors.<33 finally tackled simple interest with full force. hehehe. it is accomplished! yeah! -smile- when histoy repeats itself, all you can do is sit back and stare.
@ 10:16 AM
mhms. to SOMEONE's pounding request, i m here to post.-glares at ig- tsktsk. hahahaha. you crazae person. i ought to smack you. XP this is what happened yesterday: ig: is that you geraldine? ger: duh. do i look like aria? ig: sacarsm. still. f lar! you are like so.. ger: f one more time i push you out of the cabin(mrt) when the door's closing! ig: whatever. ehs, going home? I M GONNA MEET MY GF~ ger: which poor blind and deaf girl is that? poor thing. ask her if she had a car accident before. I suspect brain injury. ig: -glares- i m like literally. i m meeting the library ger: -chokes- WHAT!! IGNATIUS LAU?! YOU ARE GOING TO THE LIBRARY?!are you running a fever? ig: hahahaha. research idiot. ger: look who's the idiot -starts squabbling- HAHA. missed these nonsenses. haha. yesterday aria, today ignatius. the two scarasm king and queen. haha. of coz, ig insists that i m more sacarstic. -puts on angel look.- hahaha. nono. i m an angel remember ig? HAHA THERE IGNATIUS. YOUR NONSESICAL REQUEST HAS BEEN FUFILED BY ME.(X and you people owe me BIG. your punishement..mhm..let's think. ok. it shall be to BBQ for at least 1 hour before you start pigging. hehe. there was school, there was debate, there was piano. mhms. repetitive. isnt it nice? i m trying to figure out some simple interest nonsense before i go back to researching for the motions. 7 more days! then no more school~ will i miss it? i probby will. nahs. that's too far away dear. look at the present stupid maths problems. XP
Tuesday, October 16, 2007 @ 4:22 PM
 cause there is nothing left anymore.
@ 4:11 PM
first time this year I m online and not online. haha. anyone get my meaning? interview's over. scary, freaky, intimidating. haha. promised myself I'm not going to fall into the trap we do all too often at interviews: give politically correct answers. haha. & i didnt. -smiles- let them see what I really am thinking. I play the puppet all too often eh? was so scared i was gripping my hands under the table. hehex. school's a bore. my poor legs. hehe. keep us in the MPH from 8.40 all the way to 13.45 with recess break in between. listening to boring twinning programe(ssss) presentations doesnt really appeal. hehe. we were building card towers, playing stress and uno. rude us. but at least we made an effort to clap after each presentation. hehe. excuses excuses. XP received news of Samantha. she fought hard against the cancer that hit her since p6. rest in peace dear. you live forever in our memories. i cant bring myself to go for her funeral. i cant accept that a brave, beautiful, lovely young girl is dead. why couldnt you bring me with you instead lord? she deserves to live so much more than me... life can change in a heartbeat. that i’ve always known. it hit me hard still. why is it so easy to die but so difficult to live. You can shed tears that she is gone, or you can smile because she has lived. You can close your eyes and pray that she’ll come back, or you can open your eyes and see all she’s left. Your heart can be empty because you can’t see her, or you can be full of the love you shared. You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday, or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday. You can remember her only that she is gone, or you can cherish her memory and let it live on. You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back. Or you can do what she’d want:smile, love and go on -David Harkins goodbye samantha.
Monday, October 15, 2007 @ 9:00 PM
went to the library in an attempt not to rot at home. and when i was halfway there, kirhwee called: KH: leting baobei! free to go library or not? me: haha. cancan. hahaha. i m on my way there le! KH: haha. goodgood. eh? what you mean? me: -chuckles- you reach le then call me ok? byebye.(: haha, talk about telepathy. well, maybe coz i m the only one who goes to the library for fun on her contact list, and she on mine. haha. should heed her advice and get a bookworm boyfriend. wahaha. dont want lah baobei, they all very noob one lehs. Met aria. she is still as miss sacarstic as ever, and I although am severly out of practise, still can handle her. hehe. XP see you at class reunion com meeting! afternoon over coffee iceblends, books and lounging on sofas, bullying jiajian, the occassional bouts of giggling when we see "obscence" stuff, ahemahem ah? lovemy baobei. <3 &these are the things I miss the most among all else. so sick of you two. I am not miss message carrier, I m not miss peace maker. You two can stop it. Cause if you dont, I promise I will leave the house, and never come back. I stopped thinking bout my own safety a long time back. So I dont give a damn. I m so freaking pissed and pent up. sorry if i m short on the patience side today. tomorrow's interview. shucks. I m scared. ee.
@ 1:20 PM
watched the sun rise at the beach today. hehe. am so gonna get killed when someone reads this. hehe. i did sleep okay! thanks for staying up with me, and thanks for teasing a smile out of me when i wanted to scream. XP sounds mushy eh? EEEE. hehe alot of turmoil at home. surprisingly, I wasnt hysterical or anything. think i was the only one still knowing my ABCs last night. shucks. someone gave me a beach lastnight. haha. supposedly preventing me from going out of the house and getting into the "lion's den", quoting. haha. it was nice, so here it is:  school holiday bores my socks off me. haha. someone, anyone, quickquick ask me out! am rotting at home. eek. haha.
Sunday, October 14, 2007 @ 9:28 PM
 &the only footsteps I see are mine.
@ 7:28 PM
talk about boring, and you will have my life. It is so urgh. church was average. was fidgeting alot. restless. stupid. dont even know what i m doing here. yeah. lots to type, but like only these few sentences can be shown. dangg. hate to admit it but my life is better if it never was. was reading caris's lj, and there is this list of 50 things a couple should do. hahaha. how ironic can it get. was reading my old posts. as in waywayway back. when I first started blogging in p5 bahs. haha. see how the language changes, see how the posts progress. and yeapsyeaps. it still exists. somewhere. not telling, so if you reallyreally wanna search, goodluck. someone once told me, life is a dream and love is a fairytale. haha. and naive me went to post it and said I agreed. smiled when I read that sentence. cause i now know full well that fairytales end happily ever after. love ends that way only when you are sane. haha. life aint a dream either darl. life is a nightmare. those living ones that no matter how much you scream and cry, you just cant get out of it, cant pull yourself out. sooner or later, even the strongest succumbed to the pressure. sooner or later you tell yourself you cant feel no more. else you will just flinch from the pain. we live in a disantasized world. no more are we fazed by horror stories. no more are we fazed by gruesome murders. the meekest close their eyes in horror. the strongest just stare blankly ahead. I finally understand it all. I do now. cause i refuse to give you the politically correct answer you are perked to listen for. ohno. no way are you going to bind me down. kill me then. i would welcome it. coz i fully understand now dont i? the only arms that will give me a hug and let me feel safe is death's.
Saturday, October 13, 2007 @ 3:23 PM
have been wrecked out. maths and science and history. contend? not in the least, try next year, and hope we get a nice teacher who doesnt makes me snore in class. been playing weird games and reading in class. haha. playing is enrica and isabel. me and cass just stands aside and gives them weird forfeits. haha. "go to the front of the class, off the lights and fans and ask them to go out to the MPH." wahahahs. everyone was like starring daggers at her when she turned off the light. she chickened and turned everything on again. wahahas. so many nonsensical things. (= lunched with debators before we went to SMU. haha. Kiran is such a crazy freak. hahahahaha. had fun though we are rusty. I sure am. haha. this is the highlight of my week seriously. debate<3 heard the weirdest convo on the train when we went back. haha. poohja was holding back her laughter and mal's eyes were growing larger by the second, haha, something that happens whenever someone POIs her. we were passing by Kallang River... "ma. you know when the murderer kill someone and throw the body in the river, why it floats up?" "orh. because the 灵 come up and find the murderer, so the body floats loh" HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA. omg. this guy happens to be a sec3 as I heard from the converstation flow. retard lah seriously. never heard of decomposition and the release of CO2 isit? and they just talked about lots of supersitious crap throughout the whole journey. Was trying not to laugh. HAHAHA.. distance that grows sadly doesnt grows back. bye.
Thursday, October 11, 2007 @ 6:13 PM
 the perfect love is friendship. so gal, just shake off any other illusion
@ 6:02 PM
first batch of results are out toddae. not that bad afterall. -grimaces- languages could pull it off always, maths and science tomorrow. -shudders- bring buckets and lots of tissues please. haha. caught ____ and _____ dating in the park ah? haha. never date never date, just holding hands in the park and strolling only hor? HAHA. you two dating on my domain lehs. hehe. expect not to be seen by yours sincerely? eh. got charge one leh. one time $20 ah. guy paying right? lunched with constance-y again. hehe. saw Jiajian. haha. same ole fella. smile old man! (: turns out that we both dislike the same people in class ehs. same opinion ehs. hehe. shhhh.(= ohhs. for pics of our new school compound, you might like to check out the peecees blog. some nice person posted pics of it. (: on the tagboard: theJoy: ths school looks like it has its fair share of ghost stories and hauntings. haha another batch of 1s to frighten i say! HAHA. evil Joy are you reading this! joyjoy oh joy. wahahas. you dun even know the stories! haha. my batch of sec4s will have a fun time frightening the sec1s in our old or then new school compounds. hehehex. haha. off to swim!
Wednesday, October 10, 2007 @ 6:16 PM
lunched at vienna restaurant today. <33s  nice view ehs.  edible chemical solutions? anyone can identify these with what we have in the lab?
Haha. caris didnt let me go to my hubby! haha. I so have to make time to go to the MPH there. hehex. we two were looking around for donut factory which was advertised till we caught sight of an ultrahuge poster that says : "coming" I almost wanted to tear down that thing.XP went to bugis walkwalk afterthat. then typical of outings with caris, we went to look for the neoprint shop. hahaha. it's closed down. hehex. bugis street followed by This Fashion. HAHA. guess what we did- each picked two dresses and tried them out. haha. The first dress that Caris tried was soft porn seriously. hahaha. just two pics coz i m lazy.(= our picks.(:
we took lots and lots of pics. but i'm just too lazy. haha. blogger uploads pics ultra slowly. hehe.
Tuesday, October 9, 2007 @ 9:16 PM
mood hasnt improved. suddenly all collapses at my feet, and I'm expected to pick the pieces together aint it? it all falls into the same category. just one more word in the book of my life. wish it were all perfect, but life aint a bed of roses isnt it? sometimes i wonder why am i brought into the world. perfectly useless in your eyes aint I? my successes just serve to wipe your soles, and my failures are just flunk back into my face. it is all the perfect little boy at home right? yeah. i m the useless one, cause whatever i accomplish is supposed to be, whatever i fail is ridiculous. whatever he accomplishes is equal to climbing the mount everest in your eyes, whatever he fails is coz it is too hard for him right? sibling jealousy you say. you say i'm immature to hankle for attention. but you gotta admit, it rankles when my straight As were nothing, his pathethic ONE A is a GREAT accomplishment. ok. fine. whatever. I forgot that I am a useless freak of a fool right. Just a human ball, in school, at home, anywhere I go. too tired to fight back. Just shuttup and bottle it inside huh. Just pretend nothing's wrong. sickening. bitchiness I know. but guess what, I dont give a damn anymore. I just wanna lash out. Ever heard that when the gentle and peaceful bear gets angry it can kill. Well, whisper in your ear, to let you know that I am the bear.
@ 6:10 PM
horrible./: that about summarises my day. ): frowns. listening to secret's soundtracks(: some evokes memories of the movie, others evoke memories of the past, still some make me smile. piano-ed for four hours today. my butt's gonna expand seriously. realised that i have a close to perfect life outside from what someone told me. haha. you guys just dunno what i go through everyday. going through the grill it is. thanks caris for lending me that 2 hours. know you still have one more paper, an am sooo sorry. sometimes i hate it. brighten up my life. cause it is like a flickering shadow, slowly flickering out. 若我说出来，天灰地暗是迟早的事。我要求得很过分吗?总觉得好疲倦，身心都是。撑下去只不过是执迷罢了。我也要一个小小的平安。很过分吗？我也要在《脚踏车》的那种平安，那种自由的快乐，难道很吹毛求疵吗？
Sunday, October 7, 2007 @ 4:36 PM
tomorrow's a holiday, the next day of tomorrow is one too, and so is the nextnext day. followed by our results, which i m sure mine are totally horrible. all F9s must be. pray that there is mood's been a total fiasco. one minute i'm miss-high-high-in-the-sky, erupting at the least thing, the next i'm miss-talk-to-me-and-get-blasted. ok. i blasted at a few people. eeeeee. oooppss a daisy. oooooppps okayys. omg lars. blame it on the hormones since exam fever is over. i conclude that my name's totally ruined, with a cap R at the front in _ _. play fill in the blanks. no prizes for the correct answer. thought i might let you kill me if you ask? promise i would supply the gun.): tell me what's wrong with me. ahdang. at least there is debate tomorrow. should take my mind off things for a span of 3 hours at least. 10 motions.(: loves<3> coz i know i am a idiot. for lord's sake. dang.):
Friday, October 5, 2007 @ 6:20 PM
freedom at last. haha. sec1'07 EYEs are finally over. sigh of relieve.(: "you can ego without lying because you are so pretty" "your beauty dazzles my eyes" HAHA. found in _____ handphone. haha. princess ehs? hahaha. omgomgomg. laugh until roll on the floor. "who is an alcoholic?" "someone who drinks at weddings." -.- omg lahs. haha. spent the afternoon at the park supposedly helping her study, but we ended up chatting more. haha. cookies and cream in love, talking about what matters alot but you have to keep it to yourself. <3> ohyes. i passed situation test.(: interview next
Thursday, October 4, 2007 @ 6:33 PM
someone's sick. veryvery sick from the sound of it. shouldnt be worrying, but i am. weird. ok. nevermind about that. ___ should know what to do. or i hope. been dallying around the whole day. life without school when you are supposed to be at school is weirdd. been less than 1/2 a day, but i miss the courtyard and the sea of blue and grey with the occasional ties flying.(: miss turning around to enrica and see her maybe dao or maybe smiling face, listening to cassandratho and teo talk. especially when onion is feeling erm slightly horny and is attempting to teach her bearbears naughty stuff. hehe. making faces at isabel & bullying tianqi nu'er.(: keep replaying the secret's tracks. haha. i wonder if they were really in love, cause as i said, music is an expression. and wells.. without the real feelings, you cant breathe life into the song. especially in the song secret, the desperation and the longing is evident. as contrasted by the heightened sense of curiousity and unsureness at the start. maybe it is the idealist in me. maybe i m just tricking myself into believing it. but ohwells. read Her blog. I know how she feels. Yet it isnt as she thinks. The way He still talks about Her..She just doesnt know, that's all. Wish I can comfort her, wish I can give her a hand, but I cant. I m the girl standing behind a piece of glass. Shouting myself hoarse aint gonna help that's for sure. but i think we both know that there is another. But i know i am the one who doesnt play a role at all. Just another outsider. Just another person observing the whole issue. All I wonder is this: Why am I always the one that never matters? Enough is enough geraldine. Take a step back. You know it was never your course to take, and that what wasnt yours for the taking, will never be. How I wish I can explain to you when you asked me. Why I know it aint gonna to be just ok for me. well. I just do. call it instinct , call it intution.
@ 12:16 PM
arranging my photos in my com, seeing as they are all over the place, in 3 different cameras, in emails. haha. and I decided to make a list of the top things i love.(:
1. school
2. this group who can make me life hell.XP
8. sunsets
9. sleeping.((: took this off blossom's blog(: Find a guy, who calls you beautiful instead of hot. Who calls you back when you hang up on him. Who will stay awake just to watch you sleep. Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead. Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats. Who holds your hand in front of his friends. Wait for the one who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares for you and how lucky he is to have you. Wait for the one who turns to his friends and says, "...that's her." Oh, sure. What lies; 'cause then, you would've been perfect beyond measure.
Wednesday, October 3, 2007 @ 2:41 PM
Layer 1: On The Outside Name: I have many identities, which one do you wanna know? Birthdate: 010294 Eye Colour: slightly hazelish brown Hair Colour: reddish brown Layer 2: On The Inside My Heritage: Standup for Singapore! My Fear: Diappointments My Weakness: not able to hide my feelings from my friends.(: My Perfect Pizza: whenever did a pig pick at what she ate? Layer 3: Yesterday,Today & Tomorrow The First Thought Of Waking Up: "why am I still alive." My Bed Time: 11-4 My Most Missed Memories: When I was always warm without a jacket. *infer pls. Layer 4: My Pick Coke or Pepsi: neither. those things corrode your throat please! Macdonalds or Burger King: either.(: Single or Group Dates: single of course. who wants to share their sweet moments with a group! Adidas or Nike: neither. i dun endorse sweat shops Tea or Nestea: Tea. I m a caffine addict. Chocolate or Vanilla: Chocolate! It is one of my favourite food.(: Cappuccino or Coffee: Cappuccino. It's all about class. Layer 5: what do you like.. To do in your leisure: everything from sleeping to running. To smell: My hair after its washed.(; bimbotic i know. To feel: Waves over my legs, sinking my leg into the sand. To read: anything except chick flicks. To play: the piano. To love: mhms. someone? Layer 5: Do You Smoke: Not that stupid to shorten my life by 50% and making my breathe stink/: Take A Shower: At least twice a day. i like to feel clean. Have A Crush: mhms.. Go To School: no. it is my second home. Believe In Yourself: most of the times i guess. Think You're A Health Freak: YEAH. macs is REEEAALL healthy huh. Layer 6: In The Past Drink Alcohol: ohyes. haha. Gone To The Mall: you mean people havent? Dyed Your Hair: with cholrine in swimming pools and constant exposure to the sun. Layer 7: Are You Hoping To.. Get Married: haha. not at the present. nor in the near future. Have Children: yesyes.(; Layer 8: In a Boy Best Eye Colour: brown, black. haha. Best Hair Colour: o.0 Short or Long Hair: -.- I like the guy, not his hairstyle. Layer 9: What Were You Doing Just Now? A Minute Ago: smsing An Hour Ago: practising the piano Month Ago: manymany things. Year ago: preping for PSLE and laughing with exco.(: Layer 10: What must a guy do to win your heart? 1-3: be himself. be true. respect. Layer 11: Finish The Sentences I love: school. cedar rocks socks! I hate: such a strong word. I hide: pain and saddeness. myself. Tag: Caris Xinfei Constance Sherilyn Leena Isabel Matthew Minhui mummy
@ 2:06 PM
someone sent me this. thought it was sweet.(: Jane was sitting on the swing smiling in the sunshine when gravity needed a companion. The smile overturned like a boat in a storm tears pouring down her face. She was 3. Jake was watching a girl play smiling on the swing. He smiled seeing that simple joy, until he saw her fall face flat. He ran with an energy never felt before and helped her up to her feet. He was 5. They were fast friends that instance onwards. When she had her first break-up, he was there. When she first got drunk, he was there. When she lost her first kiss, he was there. He never once had a girlfriend. She always wondered why. She hurried him to find one, for prom was nearing, and time waited for nobody. He only smiled and told her, "I'm waiting for someone" She never understood till it was too late. It was a summer afternoon, no wind, no breeze. She called him from Canada 5 times a day for 3weeks. Nobody answered. After her last paper, she rushed onto the first plane and went to find him. "I'm sorry, we did the best we could." She slumped against the wall. Jake only had 24hours. She trudged into his ward. He looked up at her and smiled. "My wish upon a shooting star. It came true. Open this, but only after my eyes close. I'll save you a place in heaven." The machine beeped. She cried into his chest, one that held no heartbeat. Lifting up her head, she proceeded to the hall as the doctors and nurses rushed in. Opening the first letter in the parcel, her eyes misted with tears. 'How silly and blind I've been' You see, when he held roses and chocolates smiling on valentine's day, he caught her kissing her first boyfriend. When she broke up, he comforted her, waiting to say "I love you, will you be mine?" but she said she had a crush on this boy, a blonde jock, strong and silent. All these years, he has been waiting, for her. The years we spend waiting, the years we spend crying, the years we spend alone, there was someone out there, praying you will be their's. He departed, whispering the words he longed to say. "I love you." |
protagonist Geraldine snow_ball1994@hotmail.com cedarian cedarELDDS;debator sec3ELfamilyofai! clique1H'07; 2H'08 Echo 2008 ; the ten of us, plus the four instructors <33 ♥ The most important things are the hardest to say, because words diminish them. archives September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 ledastray
Cedarians Arty Aqilah Archana Aliah Azri Cassandra Crystal Chandidni Deepa Estee Esther Enrica Grace Huda Hanan Hafizah Isabel Joy Jolene Jueying Joanne Jemima Jin Rong Leena Michelle Maisarah Melody Mardianna Nadia Saranya Suka Sherilyn Shariyanty Shandeep Shumin Siti Simphoni Syahirah Sharizah Tianqi Vicky Vanessa Vithiya Yiying Xinhui Yingzheng Zhihui Zheru Zeeee Churchies Addison Bingcong Caris Conz Chaowang Dorcas Hanwei Hanya Hongxun Jongchi Jeannie Jianwen Jie Ting Lydia Minhui Qinyi Qinqin Xinfei<3 Xinlei Yixun Coralites Aria Althea Benjamin Denise Darius Hazel Huaywen Hui Shan Joanne Jing Han Kellie Li Ying Nicholas Rachel Sheena Shermaine Tiara Wei Ling Yu Shan Bearbear LCCBS ELDDS EL Sec2s Familyofai! cedardebate ECHO! credits you can remove this if you don't have a conscience. i assure you i will not hunt you down. skin by: Jane |
3. ELDDS-two in one!
4. church
6. smileyfaces(:
7. CHEESE CAKE
