♥ for all that we've done,

Monday, December 31, 2007 @ 6:10 PM

I WANT THIS!~

@ 5:58 PM

a hug smells like fabric softener
a treat sounds like cotton candy.
the morning smells like coffee.

I learnt this at SMU today. heh.

- for me, a hug smells like you.

met the rest at 8.45 am at City Hall Mrt. Was really blurred out and though I was standing like directly opposite them, I had to call them before Sya gave me the really sacarstic tone that said: hello woman, we are opposite you.

breakfasted at Starbucks, one of the rare times we eat together not under the stress of an impending competition and fretting like no one's business.(: chocolate muffin and frap mocha, someone pangsehed last minute, rawr. mich, I hope you are reading this and drooling, and screaming at yourself for not turning out. hmphs.

why did the tomato turn red?
-cause it saw the salad dressing

gerald and poohja: the tomato's ripe.
chandini's answer: errrr. cause the patato was looking at it? (patato have eyes.)
HAHAHA. asking chan to answer jokes is really amusing. (:

why did the gum cross the road?
- cause it was stuck to the chicken

gerald and poohja (like so once again) it has no legs Joy. -.-

haha, lame jokes, credits to JoyPriya. (: reminds me of exco, all over again, brainstorming and telling lame jokes, last minute then come and piang as usual.

had a tour of SMU and had debate with Fiona, then we went to the museum. (: haha. so cool okayyy! haha. Greek, and on average the statues are all like 5th century BCE. like WHOA. I am in love..with the goddness of love and beauty. haha. she reminds me of Lily oddly. though Lily doesnt go around half nude.X=

weather's fantastic. saw this couple like TOTALLY making out in the park. 0.0 and the funniest thing was? they fell off the bench. ROFL.

and the new year's coming in. time for new year resolutions. shall come back later when I finish filing. (:

I suddenly wish I was beside you. so tired.

Sunday, December 30, 2007 @ 8:37 PM

talk about danging stuff, and I really have to take off my hat to Joannelim. like whoa. Happybirthday dear.(: sorry I couldnt hop down, I had something urgent on. (:

been bloghopping alot recently, and I am surprised how so many people moan and groan about the same thing, especially if you hang around in a group alot. haha. why dont I see this in our group, hmm?

repacked my table and some cupboards for the third time this holiday, but I am happy with the finaly layout, though I threw away many stuff. Revisited many memories this way, what with Barbie dolls(yes, I still keep mine.) letters and the odd things that one takes a fancy too in their childhood. yesyes, I kept ALL my letters in a drawer, and such a sucker, but i actually emptied out a big drawer to put in all my cedar stuff-yearbooks, letters, blablas. (: chanced upon a few letters and exco,I finally found my autographed group photo! like ZOMG. (X found neoprints that I threw away immediately, found letters that I could only tear up and pretend I never found them, but bad stuff aside, though my room has alot of unfinished stuff, I am rather happy.(: oh, whenever was geraldine not happy you tell me. (X

Yixin's in Cedar! like YEAH! haha. I still dunno if any of my juniors from school got in, though I seriously doubt so, cause coral never seemed to have a strong culture for single sex schools, contary to what my crazy batch choose. but I would still be happy if I see any of them around. to tell the truth, I seem to need that reminder that my life isnt just about cedar. XP

Carislau is such an evil person. She KNOWS I seriously cant bake, YET she wants to wei nan wo, wants cookies for her birthday. such a RAWR thing right.

Am sick, such a bad time, losing my voice. like hmphs. all the heaty stuff finally took a toll on me. and I needdd to lose weight, cause I feel like a pig. such a rawrrawr thing.

much as I am looking forward to going back to school, why do I have a feeling that things will not be fine? tell me it's just paranoia on my part please. pleasepleaseplease. or that whatever happens, it happens after sherilyn's birthday. and I am so not refering to acedemic stuff here.

Friday, December 28, 2007 @ 2:57 PM

what do you think I could do?

@ 1:21 PM

oh the horror, but am such a loser, as RyanMah pointed out when he commented on my personal message: To Kill A Mocking Bird makes me weep. and yeah it does. call it over-reacting, but it feels like you have been so rudely slapped awake from a nice and innocent sleep. suddenly you are awake to the fact once again that the world aint fine and dainty, and it isnt as simple and clear cut as black and white, nono dearie, it is various shades of grey. oh, the irony.

besides moaning over the fate of the sadsad world, as you all have already figured out, I am trying to study abit of that stupid book, and I swear I am not going to take lit elective, for personal reasons such as preserving my sanity.

meanwhile, I have just found out that I am not done with my holiday homework yet, and I am constantly surprised how some can always try to seek help when help is needed, yet turn a blind eye when others need help. tsktsk.

ohwells, back to theorems, mockingbirds, and more maths.):

Thursday, December 27, 2007 @ 9:48 PM

I can almost put myself in her shoes

@ 9:32 PM

movied with belbel today. funny, with the stumbling in the theatre, using the fairly new, and very nice neoprint machine, and laughing ourselves silly. you are booked for page47 ar woman! (: going out with her is very easy going, unlike *coughcough*/: bel knows what I am talking about.

the theatre's so COOOOLD. brr. haha..couples and mushy stuff, bel knows what I am talking about. haha..

went back to school for orientation yesterday. (: so amusing to see the juniors. so tall lahs some of them. (: I can so predict who we will be seeing for auditions le. some fairly irritating parents, and a parent who tried to test my unfortunately horrid chinese. haha. but had fun, and I learnt the school compound slightly better. at least I now know where's the staff room and D&T room. much help that is.

funny scene when we were looking for the toilet.

mich: where's the toilet
gerald: no idea, go and ask that sec1 there. -jokingly-
mich: hey sec1, where's the toilet?

omggg. haha. the nightmare of us seniors being more ignorant than juniors came through. haha. hope estee doesnt see this. she might just die from heartattack.

and I realised: parents are all rather kiasu, what with questions about cca points. like =.=. and those super kaisee ones, want double/triple ccas.i was like thinking, when school starts, you can decide your dying method. 1. jump down the building(with the choice of school or home), 2. slitting the main blood vessels(throat is the fastest i think) or 3. die at your table. tsktsk.

funny thing, how during the day I have seemingly so many things to post, but at the end of the day I dunno what to post. yet I want details to be sentimental over after I grow older.

look at you all, and i feel so far away. drifting was supposed to be painless, except maybe for the pricks behind the eyes.

she had him to stare at the stars with, I only had the bbq table in the middle of the night. how fair's that. dont complain g, many dont even know what are stars. at least they are a torch in the darkest hours. times like this, I think I can put up with anything to be with you. but I cant, so no point pretending.

Tuesday, December 25, 2007 @ 2:30 PM

celebrated x'mas with the churchies at Braddel area yesterday. went to pop in at PL's chalet, where I had prezzies from my juniors, including my fave flower; a white rose! awww, so sweet, hehex. I had the foresight to get them ice-cubes. typical gathering, manymany drinks, but no ice. (=

piang down to meet the chickens for lunch, and finish up the xmas presents. X= haha.. sundae, and I was fretting like crap for a pen that could be seen on black paper, as my stupid silvery white pen had to give up on me at the most crucial junction. ohwells. blame myself for not prepping earlier I guess.

we left payalebar damn late, & was late to get to the venue. rawr. my white rose practically broke on the train. ): caris said I was doing the "he loves me, he loves me not" thing, that's why it had so little petals and it looked half dead. but cant blame me! haha. I was holding it all the time, and it dropped X= moreover, I dun need to do that, I alrdy knew the answer, not?

but ohwells. the ususal maddness when the churchies dear are around. (x balloons! hehex.

thanks so so so so so many people for presents! haha. I didnt expect it. (:

then suppered at changi with cell grp, and counted down together. network had abit of problems, but ohwells. foreseable if I say so.

went shopping with my mom after lunch, and I seriously think we spent alot. ): not like I would wear half the things she said I would look good in.. so hurrrr.

going down to school for orientation booth tomorrow..what a last minute thing, but ohwells. /:

meerry christmas folks, and have a happy year. (:

Monday, December 24, 2007 @ 10:36 AM

the worst thing to experience on xmas eve, is not the tinge of excitement, but a great sense of disappointment and down-ess. forget it.

I dont know what game are you playing, but one thing's clear, the stake's my life, ohwells. expected. but I cant help but wince.

meeting the churchies later on. and I am staring at the cards, wondering how to phrase my words. grr. save the trouble next year and just buy something. okay. ignore the miss grumpy grumpilying. she always says that, but come next year, she will still make something for those around her. rawr. talk about being cranky on x'mas eve. what a bad time. no mood, no mood. absolutely none. urgh.

please take down the mistletoes, cause memories make me want to curl up.

the white dress looks so forlorn hanging there. I am having cramps all over thanks to my crazy running last night, I want to curl up and die, my mom's nagging for some prep thing, my bro's blasting rather unchristmas yet very anime(smthing I absolutely do not like) on the speakers. - crap. not the best way to start a supposed happy day.

zoom off to get the cards right cranky girl

MERRY CHRISTMAS THOUGH lovelies..

Sunday, December 23, 2007 @ 7:00 PM

looking from a third person's perspective hurts more than I thought it would.

@ 6:41 PM

Bel did this. (: YAH! dao me like crazy with enrica at first. piak you ah! penguin!

geraldine
1. 'cos you are part of 1H, part of the clique, and that's why you're my friend ;D (and i daoed you)
2. 老婆- S.H.E
3. you're fun to be with, fun to talk to, full of fun ;D
4. always sleep in class but still so smart one! haha xD
5. dugong! (lol)
6. hmm, i have nothing to ask haha!
7. you've done it.

days passing in a blur. work's pretty much finished, save chinese elearning, not as a treat, but as a torture.): contary to popular opinion, I do NOT like chinese.X=

santa claus is coming to town..! haha. gonna spend xmas eve with the churchies. haha. dress and hearts necklace dress code ar! though i look fat in it. rawr. you got your wish caris, I am wearing white dress. the black one's way too loose.):

it simply is unfair on how deprived I am going to be. every xmas eve we would celebrate it at one of the relative's house, where my aunt, who used to be a bargirl, would mix delicious cocktails for the adults to drink. and since everyone's busy looking else where, she would usually mix something for me. (= I always manage to not get drunk. or at least look like I am not. but nice way of forgetting stuff you see.

this year, it is a church event! omgg. i dont think there would be any! as such, I have to wait another year to bug my aunt to mix me something. rawrrrs! but it's worthwhile. (:

xmas is a time for love! - hmms.

planning things online are the best. especially informal surprises.(: inclusive of getting people to deliver cake, down to the most minute details. lovely. (= I miss the exco days guys. when's our next get together? I miss you all already.

orientation for the next batch of the sec1s.. seems yesterday I was having mine. ohwells. sad, my wish to be involved in planning for my juniors wasnt fufiled. but I will try to be a supportive senior to my juniors and a supportive junior to my seniors. easier said than done though. especially with my temper. but I will TRY. (=

matt,

contemplating

1 : to view or consider with continued attention : meditate on
2 : to view as contingent or probable or as an end or intention

nahs. sorry lahs. I only use online dict. too lazy flip manual one.hehex.

Thursday, December 20, 2007 @ 11:51 PM

cedar-my second home! where's my family members ah! HEARTS>!<

@ 11:14 PM

Talk about multiple posts. ohwells unless you are counting out moaning and groaning and god knows what. (:

spent the evening with Jordan and gang. love you guys somehow. making me laugh like mad. though it isnt that hard if you think about it. left hp at home! rawr! so dependant on it nowadays. hehex. dinnered at sakura, at the expense of poor Mike. hahaha. it always was the same aint it? sabo the rich guy. heh. went to labrador to chill. yeahs. chill. so cold! Jeez'04? we rock. (X

SEE! I LOVE SHERILYN! - what she did for me. (X

GERALDINE;TP
1. cause you were my TP and i had to make friends with you?haha.just kidding!cause i LOVE YOU LOADS:D and it's just natural(:
2. Without you-Mariah Carey
3. You are the best TP!
4. Argue with teacher!hahaha
5. DUGONG!
6.i already know what i want to know(:
7. You've already done it:D

and excuse me, I was sitting with Glennis at first one okay! say until I blackmail you sit with me like that hor? TSK.

how two such diff people can be such good friends always strikes me! hehe, we all have the cedar spirit mahs! YEAH! WOOTS! hehex. I <3>

I am so inspired to finish my holiday homework! 2 to go! 1/2 a hist report, and Chinese! then I say BYEBYE to holiday homework! x'mas's coming! YEAH! (X

next year term1's gonna be xtreme maddness if anything. debatedebate! YEAH! CTs, TAs, and BONDING! omg! we are gonna be seniors! remember to be nice hor! and dont make trouble, especially my very disppointed ermei! (X

I miss you all!

@ 4:47 PM

to YOU;

isnt it obvious what the problem is shortsighted one?
why did I be unfriendly?
"to avoid conflict?"
dont worry, I wont kill you.'cause the heart's chilled.
if you think you didnt do anything wrong, wth do you thought I was talking about you?
yes, I agree. I dont want to know anymore.
go and be your twins forever galss.
will leave soon.
i am so sick of everything.
and once again, the dream of my childhood, burst like a bubble./':

sickening. i will hold the memories close. goodbye.

Wednesday, December 19, 2007 @ 10:37 PM

whatcha looking at furball!

@ 10:05 PM

Deepa
1. cause you are in the same class as me! and french pianging on buses! donuts!
2. Hot - Avril
3. You are crazy about Mr Ang. and I am not making you maths rep if he teaches us maths!
4. fretting about lunch before french!
5. Squirrel! - cute yet not cuddly!
6. WHY YOU LIKE THAT OLD PERSON!
7. In return, do the same for me and post it up! -HAHAHA

Isabel
1. cause you are my friend! WAHAHAS.
2. anything in Yuzhe in it.
3. easygoing, yet particular!
4. daoing me and sherilyn cause we keep arguing in class! wahahs!
5. Giraffe! - sticks out neck and asks why!
6. You and AHEM okay le mahs?
7. In return, do the same for me and post it up! - I KNOW SHE WILL IGNORE THIS!

predator13
1. erm. have I ever friended you? I only remember slamming you on nich's board though
2. shut up by simple plan
3. like to talk rubbish that makes no sense!
4. thinking why you talk where you shouldnt!
5. -none-
6. I dont want to know anything about you.

Hanwei
1. errr?
2. secrets-jaychou soundtrack. XP
3. you are crazy about two things. Yuki and your "wife"
4. playing drums for er tong zhu ri. so dao ah!
5. CATS! -miaow and miaow.
6. nothing to ask le lehs.
7. In return, do the same for me and post it up! - mhms?

DARling
1. SENIOR!
2. anything SYF played!
3. you like to make lao shi angry!
4. hugging me thinking i am crying when i yawned. =.=
5. monkey! - cant keep still de!
6. i know alot of thing le ah!
7. In return, do the same for me and post it up!

RAWR
1. SENIOR!
2. 龙飞凤舞
3. you are randomness queen!
4. trying not to laugh while scolding us.
5. apple! - rosy cheeks!
6. have you ever stopped laughing and frowned for more than a second before?!
7. In return, do the same for me and post it up!

Sherilyn
1. tablepartner! besties love!
2. GAMEPLAN!
3. you like colourful markers! and you like to call me before lit exams!
4. me telling you that i mistook you for sherilyn! when you WERE!
5. can only link you to Vball bahs!
6. gai wen de dou wen le!
7. In return, do the same for me and post it up!

minfang
1. My group junior!
2. erm.
3. you like to play with tiao yin qi
4. tuggin my skirt to ask for a file.
5. peach- sweet through and through
6. privateprivate!
7. In return, do the same for me and post it up!

alicia
1. siaozharboh!
2. lover's dream!
3. you like to talk to yourself.=.=
4. asking me about girls school.
5. errrrr.
6. why you like to stick to me!
7. In return, do the same for me and post it up!

@ 12:08 PM

this is from conz! leave a tag, and I will do it for you! (=

1. Tell you why I friended you.
2. Associate you with a song / movie.
3. Tell a random fact about you.
4. Tell a first memory about you.
5. Associate you with an animal / fruit.
6. Ask something I've always wanted to know about you.
7. In return, do the same for me and post it up!

conz answer to my comment! (X

1. Because I'm your bible study teacher lah! :p
2. Anything but ordinary by Avril Lavigne
3. You can be more kind than you think!
4. The girl who isn't afraid of speaking up
5. An orange - bright on the outside, tangy in the inside
6. Too private lah, I will ask you in person!
7. Do the same for me ah! I will go read your blog! :P

haha. so as promised..

1. Because you are you! XP
2. 只对你说
3. You are so motherly!
4. Trying to engage us in conversation. hehex.
5. Champange grapes-sweet with a tendency to linger on the tongue.
6. hmms..why do I remind you of the song anything but ordinary?

Tuesday, December 18, 2007 @ 8:27 PM

I Hate You. I Love You. I wish, I was dead. Now.

@ 8:10 PM

Went to bugis to meet qinqin and jeannie for x'mas event decoration.(: funny, lots of crapping going around. hahaha. i think lena was badly disturbed by my lameness. haha. my poweress.

- yet I cant help but wonder if something's wrong. that big a void to fill, it tires me out, just so bad.

jeannie has a nice house! so cosy and homely. hahaha. am tired out, and have absolutely no reason for being so beat. (x

okay. lighthearted stuff over. I daresay that the rest will be rather angsty maybe? but if i keep it in any longer, I will just burst.

to YOU and YOU. WHAT THE FREAKING HECK IS WRONG! everything's been so cold. I dunno what you two want. I really dunno anymore. I almost wish I didnt care. I almost wish I could just discard you two away. I seriously hope so. I almost wish i could switch churches. however fake ____ &_____ are. at least they show me what they feel. I almost could say I fear you two. yet I am so reliant on you too. you know how I bleed inside now? right now, at this moment? I dont care anymore. I just wish that..I just wish that I never came back. abit of warmth, all I ask for, yet I can never get it, no more than I can tell you how much this love-hate relationship(s) is killing me.

maybe I will let the tears flow, slowly, to fill the void. You say I am too sensitive. but crap, i almost wished I could backslide. now. I look at who we were, and I cant help but cry out loud.

To you, my dear parents.

everything i do, every single thing, is wrong, I was never right, everyday I see the faces, I want to cry. I just want to cry. yet, no tears fall, they are just locked inside, deep inside. You say I love myself in my room. But i cant bear to see it. no. I am blind, deaf. I dun want to hear anything, not anymore.

To you.

I wish I have the right to demand. but I dont. thank you for everything. what's past has past. return to her. now. cause..I have, and had no rights to say anything more than I do now. just a friend, nothing more, nothing more.

will just let the bruise darken, and the scratches deepen. I hate you, world.

@ 9:39 AM

All it takes.

@ 9:29 AM

Friday:

had debate in the new(but actually chao old) school compund. me and sya went early cause we thought it would be hard to find it, but phew, it was quite okay (: ohhhsohhs! the new(old) school compound is VERY near civilisation, and is just a short bus ride away from Bugis! (hears everyone cheering) it is near the swimming complex too. haha. not like we would have time to swim next year though, STREAMING!! AHHHHHH!!! but it is next to the CC, and within the school has alot of odd benches and what nots. ideal mugging after school environment, not?

debate was er..okay? haha. i think we were soooo unprepared still! hahah.but ohwells. we DID try at least. sec1 slackers power!

high-ed all the way back on the train with sya and estee. I TELL YOU SYAHIRAH IS SO FICKLE MINDED! one min want to eat, then dun want to eat, then want to eat this, then want to eat that. ended up went home for lunch.boohoo!

Sat:

went for tution and spent furstrating 2hours with algebra. omggg. i hate it so much can! but I will defeat it! wahahas.

hopped down to meet oniontho, and went to concert hall at Raffles Hotel. Bondingbonding! photowhore after we finished ushering! I love my sherilyn and onion! (=

concert etiquette is completely MISSING from the place. was so hopping mad! rawr.

Sunday:

BS as usual. funny. haahha. wenzhen and jeannie joined us, though I dunno why they did. Katong became Kallang, Hanya became Hanwei. omgg. must have been lack of sleep. still ditzy! hahaha. omggg! malu-ation!bused back with wenzhen.

Ohwells. I am going to meet qinqin at Bugis soon! haha. and - __________________

Monday, December 17, 2007 @ 1:15 PM

I will find my way out of this prison. That is a promise.

@ 12:38 PM

LIST OUT THE TOP 5 PRESENTS YOU WISH FOR:

5. Someone ;D
4. More smses to use S=
3. More time! RAWR X=
2. Moneymoneymoney! broke le. (X
1. A1s for everything! :D

THE PERSON[s] WHO TAG-GED YOU IS yapxinfei !

YOUR 5 IMPRESSIONS OF HIM / HER / THEM
1. one big photowhore!
2. dramaqueen!
3. twinnee with caris. - leaving poor me out lahs!
4. yexinxiangfei!
5. bestfriend to have!

MOST MEMORABLE THINGS HE / SHE HAS DONE FOR YOU
erm?

THE MOST MEMORABLE WORDS HE / SHE HAS EVER SAID TO YOU"
hmmmmmmss..

IF HE / SHE BECOMES YOUR LOVER, YOU WILL
omg, I will break off with her straight away.

IF HE / SHE BECOMES YOUR ENEMY, THE REASON WILL BE
she's too siaozharbok!

PASS THE QUIZ TO 10 PEOPLE TO KNOW HOW THEY FEEL ABOUT YOU:

1. Sherilyynnlau! BTP!
2. Belbel! :D -chances are she will just ignore me hor?
3. Onionnntho! nu'er!
4. Tiaannqi nu'er!
5. Lingling! hehheheheh
6. Calissta!
7. SLY!
8. Daniel!- hehe. silent reader? rawr!
9. Matthew! :D
10. this one sure tio shoot later- YAPXINFEI!

WHO IS NO. 7 (sly) HAVING RELATIONSHIP WITH?
- hahah. a guy of course!

WHO IS NO. 9 (matt) HAVING RELATIONSHIP WITH?
- hmms. ask him then. too many girls for me to track. oops!

IF NO.9 (matt) AND NO.1 (sherilynlau) ARE TOGETHER, WILL IT BE A GOOD THING?
- NO! they will tear each other apart in a matter of seconds! another xinfei-hanwei thing!

WHAT ABOUT NO. 1 (sherilynlau) AND NO. 5 (lingling)?
- wahahas. they will hit off well I think. both are as maddening as the other!

WHAT IS NO. 3 (onion) STUDYING?
- HER CEDAR SENIORS! and maybe the track?

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CHATTED WITH NO. 6 (carislau)?
- hmmms. yesterday night!

DOES NO. 4 (tianqi) WORK?
-hm dont think so. ohhs! she works hard at her HOMEWORK!

DOES NO. 8 (daniel) HAVE ANY COUSINS IN HIS/HER OWN SCHOOL?
- uncle ah? you have ornot?

WILL YOU WOO NO. 8 (daniel)?
- never. dont need to think also no.

HOW ABOUT NO. 5 (lingling)?
- mhms. CCK will just spit out my bones after he finishes devouring me I guess.

DOES NO. 2 (belbel) HAVE ANY SIBLINGS?
- yes! an annoying older bro huh.

HOW DID YOU GET TO KNOW NO.3 (onion) AND NO.4 (tianqi)?
- both are in cedar S1H, and WILL be in S2H, plusplus they are both my dearie daughters!

WHERE DOES NO.1 (sherilyn) LIVE?
- somewhere near the old DHS compound

HOW DID YOU GET TO KNOW NO.2 (belbel)?
- school! she sits infront of me! and CLIQUE!!

THE SEXIEST PERSON IN THE WORLD?
- define sexy please.

RAWR. I am in a horrendous mood now. ohwells. have fun guys! expect multiple posts today I guesss.

Thursday, December 13, 2007 @ 9:31 AM

@ 9:13 AM

think I have something with the 13s. /: yesterday was seriously unlucky..and it was just the 12th. mhms. maybe its the DAY before 13 that's why. okay. cut the supersitious craps g.

so..my sandal broke on the way to piano class, and wth is wrong with Bedok, but there are no shoe shops in sight. -.- struggled with trying to walk with the broken slipper and almost fell twice, before I got so fed up, I walked barefooted. how glam must I have look , indeed. dang.

then, at the traffic light, barefooted me got splashed by a car. went back 3 steps, and a bus came along, decided that making people wet is a good thing, and decided to splash poor wet desolate me as well. ohwells. just my luck.

on the way home, I had to wear my piano teacher's sandal(slipper?) and it looked really aunty and was really undersized. rawr. my feet still hurts. ouch.

now on the good things.was standing on the mrt escalator when a guy who was obviously in a hurry decided to rush down the steps. so in front of me was an old man, and what I presume to be his grand daughter. The moment I heard his footsteps, I was ready to catch the girl if she fell, cause that was most likely to happen if he had wanted to go past them. but to my surprise, he didnt ask his way through, but waited until they got off the escalator, before 1/2 running himself up to the platform. think he prolly didnt catch his train, cause it was 2mins before the train arrived when I last saw it. wow right? you dont see such polite people these days. society's not as bad as we think it is yet.(=

at night, finally got in touch with sya and mich reagarding the motion. sigh. no comments. went down for a run afterwards since there was no one to entertain me, and saw like 3 pairs of couples? mhms. maybe Pasir Ris is a good spot for lovers. Ironically, my mp3/4 was blasting When You're Gone.

When you're gone

I always needed time on my own
I never thought I'd need you there when I cry
And the days feel like years when I'm alone
And the bed where you lie is made up on your side

When you walk away I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now

[Chorus]
When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day and make it ok
I miss you

I've never felt this way before
Everything that I do reminds me of you
And the clothes you left, they lie on the floor
And they smell just like you, I love the things that you do

When you walk away I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now

[Chorus]

We were made for each other
Out here forever
I know we were, yeah
All I ever wanted was for you to know
Everything I'd do, I'd give my heart and soul
I can hardly breathe I need to feel you here with me, yeah

[Chorus]

who's to blame? I asked for it, now I have to bear this dreadful silence, all by myself.

going to mich's to get everything done. sighs. why did you have to go and put yourself under house arrest my dear! we could have gone to the library where everything was in place!

Wednesday, December 12, 2007 @ 12:40 PM

After making a list of my holiday homework and cancelling out those fully done, I'm struck with the realisation that I have been doing bits and pieces, here and there, and the rest are all half done/:
I found my new tablepartner! none other than deepashini! wahahas. (=

havent been able to concentrate fully recently. went down for a run/walk/think period? couldnt divert my thoughts elsewhere. woke up bright and early to get my bro some quei thing that he has been salivating and making noise for recently..and ____ was all I could think of. even as I played the piano, I could feel my thoughts wonder as my fingers move over those well practised notes. ohgawd. wake up geraldine!

yesterday night was amusing. hahaha. frightening phonecalls? muffled voices by pillows? HAHAHA. funny it was.

ohwells. break time over. chiong every damn thing by this week so that I can enjoy my activities without the nagging thought of holiday homework! hehex. busy week ahead! hooray!

Tuesday, December 11, 2007 @ 11:41 AM

This made me smile early in the morning. (=

Monday, December 10, 2007 @ 9:18 PM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iwQUgmTloTk - nice video. the starting's bit boring, but you get the drift in the later part of the clip. life's a bit like that if you ask me. haha. ohwells. shut up geraldine.

school holidays are drifting to an end, and although I am looking forward to the new year and a new period of cedar-ing, I must say that I wil certainly miss the holidays with the ample time to slack, while half heartedly complaining about how the school is mad by making us do holiday homework.

holding site..those that went seems to think that it is okay..that's for us to find out isnt it? this friday's debate will be held at the holding site, so the more pressing problem now is to find out HOW to get there. anyone have a copy of the newest PSLE choosing school book? maybe I will just save all the trouble and get my dad to drop me there at 7 and stone there till 9. nahs. I'll find a way. ): but I will miss the old cedar compound. seen pictures of the new compound, and there just isnt the homely feeling the current compound gave me. ohwells. at least I had a YEAR in the old compound, pity this year's sec1, not?

Speaking of which, I am looking forward to seeing the next batch come in! yeah! we will be seniors! haha. Nanthini suggests that we bully our el juniors, to "let them get used to it". We asked her whenever did OUR seniors bully us. XP. still, it would be fun and exciting. (:

For now, I am just going to continue half heartedly finishing my hw, and enjoy the slacking as it comes. (X

ohhs. on request.

I MISS MY XINFEI DARLING!

ehs XF ah? big enough ornot?

Saturday, December 8, 2007 @ 4:30 PM

coz my world's black and white now.

@ 4:09 PM

I dunno what to say anymore.wish time would reverse, and maybe I wouldnt want to grow up so soon, myabe I wouldnt yearn to be one of the ones at the top. maybe I would just slack throught everything else, maybe I would have given up sooner. cause the thought of giving up now makes me want to weep.

I am sick of saying " i want to hold on," or "i am giving up". I ever said say I did not want to study anymore and look I am still studying. I ever said I will study hard but look, I am still not putting in my best.

i believe there are people who are born as a champion, they succeed in everything they do, they are near to perfection and they never fail to improve and overcome their weakness. but I am not one of them.

I tried my best in whatever I did. I played hard, I practised hard. I tried to help my juniors, and made it to the top. I tried my best in primary school days, and made it to a fairly decent school. I tried my best, and got into what I wanted as a cca, debate. I tried my best not to fall asleep in class, I tried to be a good student.
I tried. I really really did.

but i question, is that too much of a responsibility? why am i living up to people's expectations? why am i doing things that i dont have any talent in it? why am i so bold into taking up all these stress?

i always wonder,
and i still wonder.

wonder so many times, would my juniors still tell me their problems so trustingly if they knew, that I am a nobody in cedar? That I just look and see, but have no grounds to disagree? That I hate not doing anything to help, but I cant just stand out and say: here, let me do it. Am useless, I am.

Life's a one-way route, you can't U-turn as you wish.

That changed me, it finally made sense to me after so many things they say don't. But you don't know and now I wished I told you.

It was hard, but it'll be alright.

The recent companionship I have is abstruse. Laugh at me, laugh hard. What do I want, ask me, question me. Just finding pleasure to cover what's within?

Rhetorical: concerned with effect or style of writing and speaking; "a rhetorical question is one asked solely to produce an effect (especially to make an assertion) rather than to elicit a reply"

Heartless, Selfish. Sounds familiar,doesn't it? Does it ring a bell? those words, do they hurt? Do I matter? Judge them using your tears, too vague. You never said, and I won't tell. They're all real. At one moment, we're great. The next it's gone. Well done, certainly a fabulous job done.

They say people don't like second-hand goods, because they're old, they're used. They say people are afraid to use second-hand goods, others will point fingers, others will laugh. They criticize, comment, spread it all around. I'm different. To me, second-hand goods are just something left aside, something forgotten, till someone else pick them up. They become brand new, they get a new owner, and then they forget the old. But some refuse to let go and let live. So they dwell in the past and can't move on, they become what they are said to be, second-hand goods.

Regrets, but silently I pray you'll forgive me.

Friday, December 7, 2007 @ 11:43 PM

They say a smile's a curve that sets things straight. Do sad smiles count?

@ 11:23 PM

Am feeling weird inside today. cant place that feeling. ohweells. went out with the gang, or maybe, HALF the gang for homework date. mhms. wrong word used if you think about it. more like copying. haha..

so basically, I literally dragged myself out of bed to print whatever crap I have done for holiday homework and went to compass point to meet the others. (: Enrica, Belbel and Onion! hahaha. Onion so cute! Onion dont like onion rings, but she loves rings. and she can ring like a bell too! XD

Did homework until Onion couldnt stand being comatose guai students and wanted to go walkwalk. wahahs. so we ended in bugis with enrica back at home. how evil can she get! hmphs.

walk walk, eat icecream, took pictures. cass was lying to her mom about going to Bugis. hehex. story telling A1 ahs. tsktsk. then we had to sit down so that cass could finish her geog to show her mommy. iceblended choc and sharing choc muffins! so amusing. the choc muffin looks like it is growing beige mould, but it tastes great. (: I AM GROWING SIDEWAYS!! AHHH!! wahahs.

then they went home while I went to look in at SLC's chalet. haha. goodjob guys, it actually looks and smells neat. last time we had it, the pillows were in the living room and the plates in the bedroom. wahahs. chatted with my juniors for awhile before heading home for dinner. urgh. my bro seriously irritated me. held my peace until I had to shoot him with a sentence. getting too much ah that stupid idiot. grrrr.

feeling weird. feeling weird. feeling weird. like something's up, but I cant place a finger on it. urrrgghs.

wells. enough said. pictures. too lazy to load the rest though.X=

can I be much more than just so little? Mean so little, with so much leisure?

Thursday, December 6, 2007 @ 3:16 PM

Friends forever? Caris, Xinfei, Lena, HongXun, ChaoWang, Zhongqi and Chester? I want our bond to last. (:

@ 2:50 PM

back from church camp. though the programmes werent really very good, they were passably well, and what amazes me most is when we sec1s and Zhongqi get together, we really bond. and there: life as it is in a group. happiness and sourness, disagreements and laughter, but in the very end, we are one group. SF'07, cheers.

Monday:

Icebreaker games? hahaha. fun though seriously taxing on the throat. times like this, a loud voice comes in handy! wahahas. saboatage ahs.

Tuesday:

The real programmes start here mans, haha..had fun? mhms..lead worship with mike for the first time in my life. scary and serioualy intimidating. fouled the timing abit, so attempted at dragging. hahaha. games were erm..slack? frisbee in strong wind..mhm..not very feasible..movie was nice, though abit on the unrealistic side..XP but watching the people change as the story goes along warms the chilled heart. (:

Wed:

The stupid weather spoilt EVERYTHING. urrggh. had fun though, especially twister, where the 1724 people had a FUN TIME FOULING. fell down because I wanted to prove Haojie wrong when he said I would. Ouch. but sat there laughing away, when everyone else thought I should be crying? HAHAHA. cannot lah. die also cannot cry!

Maybe I will post somemore, but I miss my bed too much to turn that stupid brain of mine. learnt plenty, bonded well, and I am satisfied. (:

Sunday, December 2, 2007 @ 5:52 PM

innocence?

@ 5:40 PM

havent been posting for quite sometime coz I simply didnt know what to type. however, due to demands made on msn, by people who read but do not bother to tag, and let me know they READ my blog, I am here once again, to type rubbish like as faith says: I watched channel 8. hahaha. i didnt though. -.-

been in an mood swing state this few days, but big difference. like wth. and in an attempt to cut the emo stuff on my blog to a bare minimum, I have taken to sleeping all the time? in front of the comp, in front of the tv, or in this case, in front of the stupid maths hw. - sherilyn's gonna kill me for this sentence. oops.(X

was rather mean and direct today just before the others came in. ohwells. I prefer direct confrontation to people acting blur though. people who were there knows what I am talking about, and no point poisoning my ears against her, you are guilty as well, keeping quiet doesn mean I do not know anything, hear? hate you hypocrites. can you like put away your mask for once? In God's home you still want to act and fake away. come down your high horse, we will forgive you, just admit it, is it that hard for you?

church camp starting from tomorrow, which means I'll be mia-ing for the next few days, coz I seriously doubt there will be internet connection. haha..anything urgent, sms me kays? will get back to you as soon as I see my phone. (=

sometimes I wish I had the right to scold you, but I dont. sometimes I try to justify myself thinking of you, but I cant. Fat hope huh. Geraldine, time to wake up from your stupor i guess.

protagonist

Geraldine
snow_ball1994@hotmail.com

~~coralite~~
cedarian
~~co-leader~~
~~exco, beloved~~
cedarELDDS;debator
sec3ELfamilyofai!
clique1H'07; 2H'08
Echo 2008 ; the ten of us, plus the four instructors <33

♥

The most important things are the hardest to say, because words diminish them.