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Saturday, December 8, 2007 @ 4:09 PM
I dunno what to say anymore.wish time would reverse, and maybe I wouldnt want to grow up so soon, myabe I wouldnt yearn to be one of the ones at the top. maybe I would just slack throught everything else, maybe I would have given up sooner. cause the thought of giving up now makes me want to weep. I am sick of saying " i want to hold on," or "i am giving up". I ever said say I did not want to study anymore and look I am still studying. I ever said I will study hard but look, I am still not putting in my best. i believe there are people who are born as a champion, they succeed in everything they do, they are near to perfection and they never fail to improve and overcome their weakness. but I am not one of them. I tried my best in whatever I did. I played hard, I practised hard. I tried to help my juniors, and made it to the top. I tried my best in primary school days, and made it to a fairly decent school. I tried my best, and got into what I wanted as a cca, debate. I tried my best not to fall asleep in class, I tried to be a good student. I tried. I really really did. but i question, is that too much of a responsibility? why am i living up to people's expectations? why am i doing things that i dont have any talent in it? why am i so bold into taking up all these stress? i always wonder, and i still wonder. wonder so many times, would my juniors still tell me their problems so trustingly if they knew, that I am a nobody in cedar? That I just look and see, but have no grounds to disagree? That I hate not doing anything to help, but I cant just stand out and say: here, let me do it. Am useless, I am. Life's a one-way route, you can't U-turn as you wish. That changed me, it finally made sense to me after so many things they say don't. But you don't know and now I wished I told you. It was hard, but it'll be alright. The recent companionship I have is abstruse. Laugh at me, laugh hard. What do I want, ask me, question me. Just finding pleasure to cover what's within? Rhetorical: concerned with effect or style of writing and speaking; "a rhetorical question is one asked solely to produce an effect (especially to make an assertion) rather than to elicit a reply" Heartless, Selfish. Sounds familiar,doesn't it? Does it ring a bell? those words, do they hurt? Do I matter? Judge them using your tears, too vague. You never said, and I won't tell. They're all real. At one moment, we're great. The next it's gone. Well done, certainly a fabulous job done. They say people don't like second-hand goods, because they're old, they're used. They say people are afraid to use second-hand goods, others will point fingers, others will laugh. They criticize, comment, spread it all around. I'm different. To me, second-hand goods are just something left aside, something forgotten, till someone else pick them up. They become brand new, they get a new owner, and then they forget the old. But some refuse to let go and let live. So they dwell in the past and can't move on, they become what they are said to be, second-hand goods. Regrets, but silently I pray you'll forgive me. |
protagonist Geraldine snow_ball1994@hotmail.com cedarian cedarELDDS;debator sec3ELfamilyofai! clique1H'07; 2H'08 Echo 2008 ; the ten of us, plus the four instructors <33 ♥ The most important things are the hardest to say, because words diminish them. archives September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 ledastray
Cedarians Arty Aqilah Archana Aliah Azri Cassandra Crystal Chandidni Deepa Estee Esther Enrica Grace Huda Hanan Hafizah Isabel Joy Jolene Jueying Joanne Jemima Jin Rong Leena Michelle Maisarah Melody Mardianna Nadia Saranya Suka Sherilyn Shariyanty Shandeep Shumin Siti Simphoni Syahirah Sharizah Tianqi Vicky Vanessa Vithiya Yiying Xinhui Yingzheng Zhihui Zheru Zeeee Churchies Addison Bingcong Caris Conz Chaowang Dorcas Hanwei Hanya Hongxun Jongchi Jeannie Jianwen Jie Ting Lydia Minhui Qinyi Qinqin Xinfei<3 Xinlei Yixun Coralites Aria Althea Benjamin Denise Darius Hazel Huaywen Hui Shan Joanne Jing Han Kellie Li Ying Nicholas Rachel Sheena Shermaine Tiara Wei Ling Yu Shan Bearbear LCCBS ELDDS EL Sec2s Familyofai! cedardebate ECHO! credits you can remove this if you don't have a conscience. i assure you i will not hunt you down. skin by: Jane |