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Tuesday, December 18, 2007 @ 8:10 PM
Went to bugis to meet qinqin and jeannie for x'mas event decoration.(: funny, lots of crapping going around. hahaha. i think lena was badly disturbed by my lameness. haha. my poweress. - yet I cant help but wonder if something's wrong. that big a void to fill, it tires me out, just so bad. jeannie has a nice house! so cosy and homely. hahaha. am tired out, and have absolutely no reason for being so beat. (x okay. lighthearted stuff over. I daresay that the rest will be rather angsty maybe? but if i keep it in any longer, I will just burst. to YOU and YOU. WHAT THE FREAKING HECK IS WRONG! everything's been so cold. I dunno what you two want. I really dunno anymore. I almost wish I didnt care. I almost wish I could just discard you two away. I seriously hope so. I almost wish i could switch churches. however fake ____ &_____ are. at least they show me what they feel. I almost could say I fear you two. yet I am so reliant on you too. you know how I bleed inside now? right now, at this moment? I dont care anymore. I just wish that..I just wish that I never came back. abit of warmth, all I ask for, yet I can never get it, no more than I can tell you how much this love-hate relationship(s) is killing me. maybe I will let the tears flow, slowly, to fill the void. You say I am too sensitive. but crap, i almost wished I could backslide. now. I look at who we were, and I cant help but cry out loud. To you, my dear parents. everything i do, every single thing, is wrong, I was never right, everyday I see the faces, I want to cry. I just want to cry. yet, no tears fall, they are just locked inside, deep inside. You say I love myself in my room. But i cant bear to see it. no. I am blind, deaf. I dun want to hear anything, not anymore. To you. I wish I have the right to demand. but I dont. thank you for everything. what's past has past. return to her. now. cause..I have, and had no rights to say anything more than I do now. just a friend, nothing more, nothing more. will just let the bruise darken, and the scratches deepen. I hate you, world. |
protagonist Geraldine snow_ball1994@hotmail.com cedarian cedarELDDS;debator sec3ELfamilyofai! clique1H'07; 2H'08 Echo 2008 ; the ten of us, plus the four instructors <33 ♥ The most important things are the hardest to say, because words diminish them. archives September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 ledastray
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