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Sunday, February 17, 2008 @ 9:26 PM
I am super filled angst now. The past week that I have denied or pushed back for the sake of JGs has just tumbled on me. isnt it great, how things turn out? I am superbly unhappy. yes. so you ask, what's new? actually, nothing's new. My is a life filled with being pushed aside when not needed, never treasured, never wanted. always something extra, always someone to be murmured about behind. great? fine? yeah. first it was within el. then that was resolved. then after the CNY crap, then I dont know. first it was last year, now? first it was you two. now? I dont know, I cant know. I am sick of putting on a nice front smilling away. I am so so so sick of you. especially you. that comment you made hit home. indeed, no one's ever on my side without even wanting to hear my story. What have I done wrong? Am I just your punching bag? Am I just the one you turn to when you need? What am I to you? What,exactly? Nothing helps. I only want to cry, to shake you so hard you grit your teeth. Do you know how hard I have to still my head to not raise my voice at you, to slam the facts in your face, those that you so treasure? Arent you spoilt? I dont know. Shall continue being the useless one, I guess. Maths. |
protagonist Geraldine snow_ball1994@hotmail.com cedarian cedarELDDS;debator sec3ELfamilyofai! clique1H'07; 2H'08 Echo 2008 ; the ten of us, plus the four instructors <33 ♥ The most important things are the hardest to say, because words diminish them. archives September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 ledastray
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