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Wednesday, April 30, 2008 @ 9:18 PM
1. If your lover betrayed you, what will your reaction be? I’ll walk off and pretend to be strong 2. If you can have a dream to come true, what would it be? turn time back and relive the past, this time, treasuring it. 3. What will your dream wedding be like? walking down the aisle of a church with my love with just the closest people around me. 4. Are you confused as to what lies ahead of you? I know what I want, and I know it very well 5. What's your ideal lover like? someone who respects me, cares, and isn’t a nerd. (: 6. Which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone else? I want the best of both worlds. 7. If the person you like does not accept you, would you continue to wait for them to change their feelings? I don’t know.depending on the situation, I guess. 8. If the person you secretly like is already attached, what would you do? I would wish him well, be a friend, and be happy he is happy. 9. Is there anything that has made you unhappy recently? lots.but there are more things that are making me happy. (: 10. What do you want most in life? 11. Is being tagged fun? depending on who and what. 12. If you find out that your best friend is going out with your boyfriend, how would you react? I would, thrash the both of them, and then be their mutual friend. 13. Who is currently the most important person to you? myself 14. What do you want most currently, right now? debate and school to be smooth sailing. 15. Would you rather be single and rich or married and poor? hehs, single and rich. 16. If the person you secretly like cannot recognize you, how would you react? I would find the situation oddly amusing and ironic. 17. Would you give your all in a relationship? probably. But there would be limits. 18. If you fall in love with two persons simultaneously, who would you pick? I wouldn’t. 19. What type of friends do you like? friends, who don’t make me feel like I am crap. 20. If you played a prank on someone, and he/she fell for the trick, what would you do? hehs, it happens all the time, I just laugh my crazy laughter and cass would ask me to stop being mad. Tag: 1. Matt- I doubt you will see this. 2. Isabel- I doubt you will do it. 3. Sherilyn- TP! 4. Leenalee. 5. Constance - dont fake, I know you are reading this. 6. GTQ 7. Oniontho 8. Minhui mummy!
@ 8:20 PM
today, is a good day. (; might be because of a certain someone's sms early in the morning ya? that really brightened up my day, though I didnt reply. the question you asked was a tad too sensitive, if you know what I mean. you know who you are, muacks. ♥  then again, a large part of the credit also has to go to this bottle. starbucks coffee, from 7-11, not the real geunine lip sucking thing, but a good enough replacement. got dad to drop me off infront of 7-11 near school by telling him I had to get hairclips. mhms, weird thing. I dont use hairclips, do I? /: cant help it, I was in an urgent need for a shot of caffine, being the caffine addict I am. -the below image is not suitable for minors under the age of 13- right. I warned you.
dirty people! it reads pen-island, what were you thinking! naughty naughty! heh heh. Yeeting was so shocked by the word on the board, she actually stopped like outside our window to gawp at the word! yeeting by the way, is my current vice head prefect. now you know how we shock people. miss cheang almost fainted. "enlighten us how you read this word teacher" - leena HAHAHA.
the movie was nice, like really nice. " THW leave the mummies alone. " , hehe, the debater at work again. (: quality bonding time, and it's been a really long time since we played bomb, mhms? had fun, overall. and I think Miss Chin must really really dont like us, /: right, off for science, and no dropping jaws please. I want all A1s and 2 for the next volley of commontests, so shut up. yannah's going to slavedrive me. (:
i think all the debaters would get this. (: go do and tell me if you are comma ya?
Tuesday, April 29, 2008 @ 10:46 PM
I had wondered how we would survive the years ahead. turned out that there were no need for answers to those questions, right? you answered me, using one of the best methods. cheers, friend. I'll be here, as a friend. nothing more. nothing, for my sake.
@ 10:36 PM
I like this one, though it might or might not be to different people. what can I say? I have split personality, and I act differently in different situations. people say I make the change terribly fast and scary. now you know. dont trust what you see.
this's cool. (: things happened today that made it a both happy and sad and annoying and depressing and high day. almost considered skipping debate, cause I was really feeling unwell. first time, wow. dragged myself there anyway, and the 4 sec2s had alot of fun, as usual. debate, from being something that I wanted to skip, became the best part of the day. taking a break now and then from debating and tracking, just listening and processing makes you energized, and itching for a fight. first prop next week. mhms. I rarely do first, much less for prop. a challenge, at any rate. I'm feeling sleepy from my satisfying cycle through the beach. letting loose, letting go. spin down the path, and let the wind take you where you want to go. illusion, deillusioned. sea breeze always makes me smile. and I realised, that you cant be replaced, so ingrained you already are, in my life. not anymore. thanks for teaching me, that being reliant on one thing too much is a bad thing. I'll just go back to being the old me.
Monday, April 28, 2008 @ 7:11 PM
 from this picture, I can infer two things. (: that my class doesnt care for the school rule, no eating in class and that we all love pink dolphin white graph flavour, which contains amino acids. (: cant see clearly in this picture, but there were 6 bottles inside. HAHA.deepa was being annoying this morning by going on and on and on and on about how mr ang didnt come to school. we fully utilised the period though, by using it to do the buzz at canteen programme, which has been pushed backward. admist us all discussing about standing positions and what not, to be informed that from two days more, we have suddenly two weeks more. but who's complaining? oh, many many thanks to people who ran with us today. you were much appreciated, and heck the ungrateful sec1s, they dont know better. (: really, thanks for going the extra mile literally with us, doing things you didnt have to. thanks thanks thanks. prepped motion after school and prepping with sya and mal is always alot alot of fun. (: mal loves clarrifications and corrupt government, I swear, from the way she goes on and on about them. knowing full well, that the corrupt govt argument is a circular argument, the worst of all that could pop up. haha, she and sya. sya and her, " You say that one more time and I am going to slap you." mal: I dont have anything, I am so screwed tomorrow! sya: excuse me, you have a case, look at my paper! (blank with only motion as heading) we are all screwed! mal: screwed screwed screwed geraldine: -senseless laughing-. well, say I am mean, but really! I am not debating tomorrow! the way mal forces us to do her case first and panicking throughout the whole time and saying senseless things cause her mind blocked and sya and me fainting when some simple point she takes forever to understand or say nonsensical irrelavant stuff. she asking us to be less cheem when she is using all the cheem words like: I thank you sincerely for helping us. HAHAHA. formal ah, formal. debate loves. <3333 I am so looking forward to working with these humans for Y14 RJC invites. (: though me and sya will kick mal out of the window if she insists that we do hers and her case only. xp ok, back to helping people research. (:
Sunday, April 27, 2008 @ 8:47 PM
general feeling of lethargy all around. people type in their blogs about how school's a waste of time, how high school years are dragging, how they wish they could graduate soon, etc etc. and much as I would hate to admit, I am falling prey to that too. but I dont want to. I dont want to dread doing something that I would have todo for the next two years, I dont want to waste my years away moaning and groaning. I dont want to become like some of the seniors, those without anymore passion for debate, those who come just to rake up attendance and get their cca points. I dont want I dont want I dont want. and with the question of IP and people citing reasons like school's boring that's why I am transfering, I am wondering, if I would walk that path, as well..? where where where did my passion for school go to? am I now, just another part of the wonderful statistic that reflects how well the school has done for Olevels? must I just disappear into the sea of bluegrey, simple because I dont have a title? no. I dont think so. today felt weird. like really really weird. I could like hear my own thoughts whirring inside my head even as I was talking to people. physically aware. right. I'm going bonkus already. not a good sign. going to bugis by yourself is damn weird. cause the only time I go there alone, I walk straight to the library, none of the look look see see in shops. but I had to buy presents today, along with getting some research materials, thus explaining the weird behavior. really, I cant stand shopping. and I am NEVER going to shop alone again. debate research is downright depressing.- governments in the developing world should ban sex tourism. I am sleepy. I am feeling weirddddddd. I feel like hearing your voice. right. fat hope. I am just going to stand one side, smile and pretend nothing's wrong. no, what can go wrong? everything's wrong anyway. my friends treat me like some brittle egg shell that will break, they refrain from touching that topic, and the poor shimin who didnt know anything was "scolded" when she brought up the subject, admist unknowingly by commenting on something. I didnt mind, really. cause the more you sidetrack the issue, the worst I feel. the more you treat me gingerly, the worst I feel. I am not weak and avoiding the issue does not mean that I go blind and not see them around. but, it still hurts. alot. not that I will admit it though. sighs. let the past go. constant messaging to not even bothering to reply. I marvel.
Saturday, April 26, 2008 @ 4:45 PM
I somewhat find it annoying when people badmouth cedar, but when a cedarian does that, it really really puts me off. maybe we can make excuse for them and say that hey they are sec1s and all. but really, is that what consists of it? I used to love going to school to bits, and although the infatuation's faded abit, and I occassionaly lapse into a I feel like ponning school mood, I never really "hate" cedar. isit then, ours - the senior's fault? do we need to reflect on this? right. saturday mornings are going to be free, cause I finally am able to relocate my stuff into different times of the week. speaking of which, I am in no mood to post after blog surffing. ):
Friday, April 25, 2008 @ 7:43 PM
stupidity in its entireity, fools with hearts on their sleeves and brains in the dump somewhere, oh pleaseeee, spare me that crap.
@ 7:27 PM
loved school today. one of the few days in a week that I can actually reflect on and smile without holding back. art amused me in entirely, chinese presentation is off my back, english is wonderful, I didnt flunk geog as badly as I thought I would, literature is finally moving back to familiar terrain. w-o-n-d-e-r-f-u-l-l-l-l-l. oh, and I realised how foolish some people can be. they think that IP is the easiest programme to get into on earth, especially when you are a student in cedar girls. some people can, and I wish them goodluck as they pursue another chapter in their lives. some people cant, and they are only going to get humilated, because they dont even know the basics. they never pause to think how it relfects on you as a person. they dont know the procedure, and they boldly declare, I am going to try. right. look at your own track record, look at your uniform, look at the way you carry yourself. who wants you? and they thought I were going to try. spare me please. I rather not distract myself and screw streaming in the battle for that few treasure thrones. a battle I know the chances of winning is limited. say I am a wet blanket, but really. we'll see.
Thursday, April 24, 2008 @ 9:32 PM
where's your promise? I flipped everystone, but I couldnt find it. or did I dream it, once again?
@ 9:14 PM
I'm terribly annoyed with the way things are being done. no system, no deadlines, no nothing. just slacking, until you hear something, then you come running to us, and babble how how how. excuse me, you are the group leader. and even though I know there are different leadership styles, spare me that nonsense. I know very well, that you are just diverting responsibility. better to let people wonder whether you are a fool then open your mouth and remove all doubt. and to you two. I find it exteremely irritating how you push people up the wall. isit supposed to be my group's fault? no, it isnt. you didnt want to take my advice, and now you are in this deep quicksand. then you pull at my lifebuoy, and try to exchange? no, no. things arent done this way. you want to fight? be my guest. I only tolerate so much. pass that limit and the geraldine you are so familiar with, will change. speaking of other stuff. I am so going to love english for the rest of the term. argumentative essays! ♥ cause I wont need to any research, pretty much, on alot of topics. all I need to do is to take out my debate notebook, flip flip, and there you have it. phrasing isnt going to be a problem too. gosh, this is my field, sure and sure. aiyehh. oh, I failed lit for the first time in living memory, enrica was gwaping at me. my strongest subject! my science and maths improved though. am I destined to have one super bad mark for every single test period! yuck! gonna math and do proposal. I am so determined to get my maths in the top. (:
Wednesday, April 23, 2008 @ 9:40 PM
Paper bags and plastic hearts All are belonging in shopping carts It's goodbye But we got one more night Let's get drunk and ride around And make peace with an empty town We can make it right Throw it away Forget yesterday We'll make the great escape We won't hear a word they say They don't know us anyway Watch it burn Let it die Cause we are finally free tonight Tonight will change our lives It's so good to be by your side But we'll cry We won't give up the fight We'll scream loud at the top of our lungs And they'll think it's just cause we're young And we'll feel so alive Throw it away Forget yesterday We'll make the great escape We won't hear a word they say They don't know us anyway Watch it burn Let it die Cause we are finally free tonight All of the wasted time The hours that were left behind The answers that we'll never find They don't mean a thing tonight Throw it away Forget yesterday We'll make the great escape We won't hear a word they say They don't know us anyway class's performing this song with the lyrics changed. haha, the easy part's done, getting it out. the hard part's about to come, to get the class to co-operate. haha, nevermind, we'll manage somehow. (; school's not been terribly exciting, laugh and laugh in school, but I come back home, and this dreadful sense, settles. right. I'm not emoing. really. I threw it away, with the loss of that battle. I am no weakling. cause I'm strong, and I'll pull through. nothing's gonna matter, nothing, absolutely nothing. changing loyalties, backstabbing, the fake illusion of a warm coccon of warmness. nothing, nothing, nothing is going to bother me. cause I am well trained already, a deaf ear, a glance that betrays, heart wrenching pain, and the final layer of smiles. let's play it your way, cause I can win, and I'll. right, I still have science and maths to go. on a random note, I like yannah's book, it is terribly spell binding. bad habit's acting up again!
Tuesday, April 22, 2008 @ 7:34 PM
I realised, that when you take things from another angle, it usually makes you feel guilty. especially so when you have been very extreme in your views and have been admant to change it for awhile. estee made me think about that matter in another viewpoint, by just mildly putting forth her opinion, a totally opposite one of mine. have I been too judgemental? maybe, perhaps. but I am feeling really guilty now, for being as such. ahhhh. and I also realised, that you can actually "fore-do" your homework, especially for maths. really, cause it goes accordingly, when you are free and teacher's already went through that bit, you can do it yourself. sometimes you are at the losing end, cause mr ang picks and choose, but abit more of practise never did hurt anyone did it ? and no, I am not turning into a nerd. I just found the joy of not procrasinating satisfying nowaday. (: debate was fun, and the motion for next week's super super fun. ohmy, we are gonna have a great term ahead, really, especially for the sec2s! yay! let's do swing for the lil surprise for the school at the end of the year okay? we'll crush them alright. and I absolutely insist that we have a level outing during the June hols. really, how many times have we postponed it alrdy! since Alone last year okay people! but honestly speaking, we are the most bonded level in el! YAY! PE was fun, free activities! we were playing badminton in the rain! so cool, and bel cant serve properly, and enrica's worst. ohmy. for some reason, I am terribly tired. I imagine it is worst for my seniors, so I shant complain and moan and groan. I somehow miss you, such redudance.
Monday, April 21, 2008 @ 10:54 PM
y'know what I noticed today as I stayed back in school to chiong finish my homework? I noticed, that everybody bian huai le. onion tho, leenalee, mimma, now tianqi. tsk tsk tsk. and they wanted to pull me down the water, what me and ____. no naming for saving that person undue embarrassment and cause I respect her as a senior. tsk people, but what can you expect, when the person running to become the most important student of the school is herself one of them? rarely do I dislike a person so much, but really, I really really cannot stand your ways, and many have the same sentiments as me. I guess you could always fall back on your votes by your sec1 fanclub who dont know better. hypocritical fool. I dont know, general feeling of "I want to lash out at anything and everything", not very geraldineee. right, could be the weather, could be the looming aespects of papers returning. I like laughing with my crazy liuliu. haha, notice that she has somehow become "mine". sure bel wants to contest this, claiming that it is HER liuliu, cause it is HER tablepartner. then again, I alrdy have my yanny! hehs. yannah is probably puking. (: aiyehhhhhh.
Sunday, April 20, 2008 @ 6:55 PM
There has been this weirdd fascination with the song Check Yes Juliet recently. yesh. I am terribly slow when your focus is on things like trends. weird - cause the song's neither exceptionally catchy or meaningful. hmm. Saturday afternoon went to watch debate between NUS High and SAJC. mhms. supposedly high level debate. they had really good structure and points for an impromptu debate. but one side was stagnant. the other had fantastic examples, rare for impromptus. haha, we should strive to reach that level! went out for dinner and headed to the beach. french! haha, the alternative that I usually offered when being asked why I choose french as a subject : food. now you know I value my tastebuds. the other more important and weirder reason not to offer to the adults was that it was the language of romance. that terribly appealed to me. (: the restaurant was called le pont de vie. people who have had basic french would be able to unravel the meaning of its name and know why it added on to the appeal. dim lights and rustic settings, romance, I like (:   I told my mom I would be marrying a french chief when I grew up, just to have the pleasure of eating french cuisine. the refined way of eating and the way they treat the food as art pieces. <33 went to east coast to walk walk. two couple frequented places in a night, wow. am I supposed to be seething with jealousy? Sunday church was okay, worship felt weird for me today. sighs. was dropping off to sleep during sermon, particularly cause I couldnt relate to it much, being more of the "anything also can" person. okay, maybe I am not like that, but I am certainly not as mean as sya and mal. say, sya are you reading this? chior was amusing. from Sop1 to Tenor. cool. having fun, though I havent sang for a long long time having since left church chior since p3? the rest stayed to p6. /: so I am terribly out of practise. oh, and alto and tenor are so much harder to sing compared to sop. sop IS melody after all, and I dont have much of a problem with the notes. sighs, ohwells. (: trying not to fumble in front of you, looking anywhere else but at you.
Friday, April 18, 2008 @ 11:40 PM
TP pact! Maths! chiong! chiong chiong chiong! let's go people,maths, here I come, fully armed! The TP pact! if Sherilyn Lau Pei Rong does not get full marks for her next commontest, she owes me a drink.if Geraldine Tan Le Ting does not get 30/35 for her next commontest, she owes her tp a meal - from the canteen, I'm cheapskate! "Yah,so tp,you believe me now? That sometimes working hard doesnt give you results. Not meaning that it doesnt at all, but it's not all it takes for having good results. but sometimes i wonder if results really are that important. and really, the answer is YES. and sometimes i wonder if brains really are more important than beauty. hmm... shittyass. I feel like a flower vase when standing next to you. And indeed I am. No doubt about it." - my dear TP's blog. ): sad to say, results no longer reflect effort. disheartened, but blue-greys are going to have the ability to work and pick themself up from failures, right? yesh. walk towards the image, the shared image of success! goooooo 2Hunky-dory! -claps and cheers- just had a talk with my TP. haha, ohwells, dont be disheartened my friend! cause we'll rock the house down! go for the goal! " jiayou tp!(: tplovestplovestp<3"> my dear, I love you too. (: add oil! /edit I thought this was amusing. from bel's blog. EH! LOOK HERE, I CREDITED! "anyway, mrted home. recalled sec1, haha, when we hated each other, as in me and enrica couldn't stand geraldine and sherilyn and then gossipgossip xDwow. I am BB! gahs.really retarded, sec1 term1-2 was pure retarded, and then now we've all changed!" - bel and she calls OUR playground Utopia! no loh, it is stress torpedo! yes indeed, from pure enemies, to best friends doing stupid retard things, clique, and recess gang! wow, we really did change didnt we? suddenly I realised, how near streaming looks from here. June is going to be a pure mugger period!
@ 6:08 PM
results for maths CT is back, and damn, I am really disappointed with my grades. first time feeling so confident and hardworking for maths, but still.. ohwells, nevermind, if they can do it, so can I! I am aiming for 30/35 for the next one, else I'll just jump down the building or something. mr ang's pep talk was inspiring, though I seriously think it wasnt real, at least, that "class" he was supposedly talking about. let's go find out from the other classes he taught if he told the same story ya? XP I am such a cynical person. hehs. heavyhearted afterwards. had free period for chinese and I somhow became the seat for alot of people! the rest of the day went fine. rather enjoyed assembly, though I shant say anything here, cause it is politically sensitive in a sense, since being the critic, I would be listing like many many things, things people sometimes dont like to see or hear, cause it is hard core facts that you cant deny. however, to my dear joyful debate captain, I shall only say one thing. you made me really proud to be able to call myself a debater today. :D jiayous, and who cares about the results! you be your joyful joylly self okay! we're all really really proud of you! went to our little refuge corner today, to relieve the stress from the paper that we got back. yeah, we really achieved our goal. we decided to solve the "mystery" of the so called circle circle thing, as named by bel. solved it after 1/2 hour, and we have all decided that we are not born physics people, only knowing that there IS a rationale behind it, but cant really figure it out. HAHA. green gauge and the Kicolar sign! remembered by me forever! experiment after experiment, sitting, standing, calculating weight, from balancing it to unbalancing it. how many times we toppled in a heap on the floor laughing, I dont know!
presenting the three physicists!
object of experiment. hypothesis: if one side were heavier than the other two, the wheel would start to turn when the person walked clockwise results: wheel would only swing at the same area, close to the bottom, as observed when looking at the green banner for gauge. how to change it: lightest or heaviest one to sit at the green area, stretch out legs. two to stand a box away and walk towards person legs. wheel would start to turn, and if were to be counted, it made one full round and 3/4. sadly, objects fell off laughing most of the time haha, and that's it! really enjoyed today, and photowhored much! more memories, and more things to scrapbook!
coffee for celebration! cheers!
Thursday, April 17, 2008 @ 9:57 PM
 changes, more and more.
@ 5:00 PM
Just been reading a certain senior's archives, and it is soo cool, to see her "growing up", the change of language and all. haha, shant name her, though she is one of the seniors I respect most, one of the seniors that really inspire and make me go, just wow. we arent that close though, I know my place well enough to keep a distance. point is, I sorta regret deleting the previous blog now, seems abit, rash. I just realise that I have really sweet teachers. even if they are annoying and make me want to sleep sometimes. haha, much apologies then, since I aint the most easy student to teach. (: anyways, they havent been giving me much homework, which sorta explains my free-ness to read archives. I dont know, been thinking alot recently, and I wonder, about the meaning of growing up in its entireity. I used to want to grow up faster, I wanted to be up there with the big people. but things have been changing, whether it's in school, church or even anyway else. things change, people change. happy-free-golucky people have been having frowns, and not as much laughter. Bs groups' changing. I read XF's LJ posts, and I thought, hey, why dont we have that anymore? does growing up means a growing distance as well? to my dear leaders of '06, what's happened to us? where has the capacity to laugh and make stupid jokes and do stupid things and laugh at ourselves gone? why are we so judgemental recently? strikes me that soon, estee and nadia are going to be off from debate, and then joy, jolene, chud, poohja are going to be off, and then we are going to be off too. so fast, time flies. sighs, I need to feel the breeze on my skin.
Wednesday, April 16, 2008 @ 9:44 PM
Maybe when I'm done with thinking Maybe you can think me whole Maybe when I'm done with endings This can begin mhms. cravings cravings cravings. yannah says I am pregnant. yar, right. but that would be an explaination, hmm? went out for lunch with bel and enrica cause there wasnt debate today, and I was supposed to settle my lunch. haha, nicely coincidental, all three of us felt like eating chicken rice. so, funny observation on the bus, and nicely hidden remarks, of ______ hehs. and I realised how some people are so darn damn insensitive. yucks man. get a head, a brain and a heart! culture of graciousness? master tactfullness first then preach to me, please. speaking of tactfullness, english today was amusing. now we can all safely say that leenalee is a mean person, haha, ohmy. oh, we dared bel to drink this.
she - who never eats chilli. HAHA, she chickened though. and didnt get to earn the $10 each from me and enrica. and I think that Hitler is a great leader. I dont agree to his actions, but you gotta admit, being able to lead a country out of dooms and despair is no easy feat. forcing country after country to bow down to you isnt either. I admire him, honestly. though he is ugly! world war 2 burnt up from the embers of world war 1. wars. never can understand them. civil or otherwise. how can someone believe so much in killing people around them? there's no second chance to life. grab the chance while you can. flashes of memory, the person who told me this, has changed beyond what I know. or perhaps, I am the one who has changed. when the eyes you look at the world is tainted, what can you expect? tainted with tears, with experience, with hate, with love. I am getting used to faking it. faking a smile, faking attitudes, faking faking faking. geraldine is lost, so is _____. split personality. anyone for coffee? I am missing debate, I need debate therapy. swimming would work well too, I guess. everyone's feeling emo. ):
Tuesday, April 15, 2008 @ 9:49 PM
originally had alot to say, but miraculously, I have forgotten every single one of them, since there is only one thudding in my head now. I forgot what was it that I had excitedly told yannah, I am so gonna blog about that in the morning, only remebering that I had said that I was going to blog about something. confusing? nahs, that's just how I feel at the moment. our dear dear maths teacher is back and home and safe. okay, maybe not home, just back in school, in one piece, having had a near death experience over the weekend. "cherish the people around you" was the gist of the entire 10 mins talk I guess. deepa's face, yuck. realised that things get on my nerves easily recently. those nerves feel so brittle, and I aint in the tip top ger-mood, as sya terms it. mood rollercoaster. and I dont think I am the only one. sighs. yesh, so even though I wont throw my temper for no good reason, I will be a little short on the patience side. thus, dont be surprised if I am mean and turn around and snap at a certain person during morning assembly or refuse to be reasonable to another. shucks. though, trust me, I am trying really really hard to be the normal ger. D: been pigging out on like sandwiches and random tidbits, sighs, dont be surprised if my jeans split or something. must have put on another 20kg. oh, I have been struck by this stroke of forgetfullness lately, forgot to bring my tie to school to change TWICE. twice this week when I had never ever forgotten before, ohno, my memory's failing! yesterday I was lucky, yingzhen had an extra under her table, but I wasnt so lucky today. borrowed Jx's CSB pullover and wore it for the rest of the day, despite the sweltering heat. was so glad to change into EL tee at the end of the day. (: didnt do speech, not that I am complaining. finally see how some people are so desperate for a title, ohmy. shant say anything here, seems to be abit on the sensitive side. lethargy.
Monday, April 14, 2008 @ 6:48 PM
I am never ever uber going to run 2.4 again with a flu and having just recovered from a fever, even if that means I am gonna have to run with some unknown class and be alienated from the entire living society. actually, I know I would run again, if I were given the same circumstances,nevermind that I was feeling like the world was spinning, felt realy naseous, and was super tired afterthat. bel literally had to DRAG me up after I plopped myself on the floor the minute I finished the run, when, well, I shouldnt. there wasnt maths, and mango juice helped restored the bloodlevel pretty well, shucks, I should have taken breakfast, but I had clean forgotten there was such an event. spent the period laughing with Yannah and acting far fetched scenes using the blue book, HAHA. so wrong so wrong, the things that were in it. just a clue, the title was, "teaching your children sex" " blabla gabala, sex is an union between two loving adults." - ohno, will the bank and NTUC income step in next? HAHAHA. "possesive boyfriends" - invite him to a party filled with guys and see if he dares breakup with you, if you do, go find an admirer and dance your night while he nurses his wounds! oh, a new update on my extended family. instead of having one pungent daughter and one weathery one, I have now, one pungent daughter and one weathery son! my daughter/son cut her hair! she is sooo cute now, like, zomg! and I officially do not use Mummy Poko Pants for my daughter, I am switching to Huggies Pull up Pants! but but I am still going to cut a poopoo pocket! HAHA, only the extended family would know what I am talking about! ohgosh, I ♥ school!
Sunday, April 13, 2008 @ 9:48 PM
 pretty much describes it ya?
@ 9:21 PM
Friday Sports day! met bel at J8 for breakfast before walking over to the stadium. haha, bluegreys are all quite kiasu ya? saw like throngs of them half an hour before assembly time walking over already. oh, and I realised that some juniors cant react when you are nice to them, hmms. what weirdness. nothing remarkable about sports day, just some new experiences and startling observations that really made me think, rushing around to take attendance at random timings to make sure no one ran off, and chatting and screaming and cheering, but no worries, my voice's still intact,cause I only cheered for certain events.  SMILEY SMILEY. (: This shall be the only photo I am posting, cause it isnt really very glamorous to take pictures on sports day, what with all the dishivelled hair, smelly sweaty clinging shirts and what nots. (: pictures on demand ya? went out for luncheon with debaters, swensens! didnt go out afterwards, cause estee wanted to study with her midyears coming, mal had to go home, and joy had something she needed to do. saddening, but plans ah plans. (: imported debate jackets and group outing! Saturday churched with Hongxun for the next day's worship. haha, slacker! cheese fries and peach sofa fizz, and chaowang sending us to the entrance! so amusing, so many funny incidents, and I had to use my lousy sight reading skills. sighs, I am going to put up a sign and say, I cant sight read, dont ask me to play! ask my teacher lah! later teacher come and piak me. xp went alittle bonkus with caris later on at cell group, hahaha. I want I want I want, I dont tell you! and caris made a new, noisy noisy and hungry hungry songs. lame! but so funny! Sunday met earlier than the earlier time to practise abit, first time someone not late ah! camp meeting, oddly silent, but yesh, cut some slack, cause it is just the first one ya? worship was okay I think, even by my standards, though the atmosphere wasnt there. sighs. and SFers need to be more spontaneous, all so deadddd. taboo was played during BS timing, so fun! hung around on the shutters waiting for CW and ZQ since the other ladies pangsehed me and headed to HX's condo for swimming. the guys took the ample opportunity to bully the chance of me being the only girl, urghhish! anyway, swimming was okay, cause I realise they dont really treat me like a girl anymore. am I supposed to be sad? nahs, I aint. really really really missed swimming, therapy, just letting it go, just swim and swim and swim, on and on and on, wiping things away from your mind. you could even let yourself think that the water currents will take you away, away away from all these pain. haha, what pain? so taunting, so close, yet so far. can feel you just standing there, yet, sighs. geraldine geraldine geraldine, you fool. oh, any suggestions for good campsites for church camps? leave it on the tag ya? :D
Thursday, April 10, 2008 @ 9:07 PM
haha, I am officially very sick. like super super super sick. I cant breathe properly, my voice's changing, the temperature's rising, and crap, I feel like a zombie, and look like one too. yucks. so, after a full week's of common tests, we are gonna have a break tomorrow, and go for sports day. aint competeing in any events, but will be going to meet bel early tomorrow to help her take attendance. Sighs. ohno, my throat. sports day prep was maddness, I think Grace Ang is traumatised, LOL. aiyeh. I am feeling like crap, all because of someone's blogpost ya? I feel, like my heart's torn. right. I would die then. and since I am still alive, hopping and kicking, I shall not act like an idiot who has her heart on the sleeve. nono nono. debater's going out after sports day tomorrow, I am going to make sure everyone camwhores like siao. (: /When pride builds me up till I can't see my soul Will you break down these walls and pull me through?
Wednesday, April 9, 2008 @ 8:30 PM
people of the past, a shadow. that's what I have become, insignificant, nothing.
@ 8:09 PM
I feel wundefully relived of a terribly big burden. one, tests are over. actually, not really, there's still lit. but who the hell studies for lit! Unseen somemore. crapping's my speciality, I am not worried. two, we the fantastically brillant sec2s, got through a spar with the seniors with minor scrapes, but no fatal wounds, which is a great whew, cause we did a very hurried and research deprived debate, last minute while waiting for our turn at the appraisals. we didnt even have Issues to build on, 'grats to us. (; mal was close to tears a few times, I was trying to be high so that I would not throw myself over the wall, and trying to think through a mind block after a hist and a maths paper. three, Appraisals are over. not as bad as I thought it would. estee wasnt there lah. much less pressure. she's a really nice and really great and really wonderful senior, but there is just a pressure there. four, the stupid banner's half done. thankgod.and I dont think there are anymore surprises coming our way. since the worst is over, at least, I hope. five, the camp's worst details that have to be ironed are already ironed, which means no more frantic phone calls and trying to argue whether fbt's should be allowed and nonsense like that. six, I got my news already. (: it's good. really. (: seven, finally confirmed sunday's camp comm meeting with the humans, so I can finally strike it off my list. eight, I finally can reschedule my stuff to suit my timetable. finally. nine, my printer's fixed, so I have a working printer at my disposal. no more no more no more, Help me save me, situations. ten, concert's over! However, I have not done my el speech, grr. I dont know how to do, zen me ban! nevermind, will find a way somehow. (: I am half asleep and half awake all the time mode. nah nah nah not a good thingum. I realised that both E and J are wrecked. poor seniors. nevermind, being my dear dear teamates, they will do fine. they will, they always do, cause they are strong. (: - but I am teeny weeny tiny worried for J especially. E will emerge okay, she ALWAYS does, being babylove. sighs
Tuesday, April 8, 2008 @ 7:04 PM
It's so hard to accept, but learn I will, and do it with grace I will. I wont let you see a crack in the facade, am too strong for that. It's so hard so hard not to be affected, when well, you are just there, you and you. nevermind, I can, I will, manage somehow. I am so so so sure that you arent reading this, perhaps that's why the sure way I type. that's how sure I am, of my place.
@ 6:44 PM
I am the biggest loser alive. according to leoleo. HAHA. science ct was a total diaster. rawrs, nevermind, there is always the next one. (: couldnt go home after school, despite original plans to go home, flunk myself on the bed, nap, then wake up and mug like a cupper. one of my pet peeves is when people dump things on me last minute and expects me to be fine with it. and the worst thing, no details, nothing. fantastic. enrica was almost jumping on the table in furstration,and this is the first time I have seen my class montiress, our cool, calm, head of NCC platoon leoleo raising her voice and showing signs of panic. you know how damn irritating it is? such was enrica and bel irritated that they didnt want to go and get the materials. haha, who can blame them, I wanted to do the same too, I am not someone who should be involved in this whole mess of an affair in the first place. but I know leoleo wouldnt shrug the responsibilty of, and being the "in charge", and she would have to be alone to handle the whole thing. so the two poor souls went to art friends lugging school bags filled with notes, textbooks, files, and what not, with brainful of history and possibly maths. had lots of fun though. (; apparently my monitress is abit psycho up there, more insane than bel lah, though she always act like bel is crazier. HAHA. funny incident when we were walking out from school, leoleo thinks I am abit reckless now, HAHA, slow one this one. "aunty, you dropped money "- directed at leoleo, when she didnt, duh. -two guys laughs- '' uncle, you dropped your brain" -two girls laugh- look who got the last laugh, HAHA! had english, continued with the speech thing. cassandra nu'er is so cute! flap flap, jump jump. HAHA, cannot send her in for inter class, else everyone will be too busy laughing to rebutt! (:
Monday, April 7, 2008 @ 11:09 PM
I am feeling like a really restless baby who wants to be cuddled and fussed over. I really dont mind actually. I kinda like being cuddled, but no thankyou for fussing. but since my husband is a flat 2D thingy that is filled with diagrams of active transport, I am just going to, yaladado. see, I have lost my ability to speak english, what yaladado. I dont know. I suddenly just have a pang of longing to pick up the phone and sms. there are so many people online, but I just feel, lonely. weird, why? cause people talk to me, I get irritated. see, contradictions. stupid girl, me. maybe it's the music - "wishing I could hear your voice again, knowing that I never would." I am in the mood to sprint. like sprint hard and fast and make myself sweat like mad. I want to feel the sea breeze on my face, and I want the music of the night slowly playing in the background. orchestra of insects? active transport is the process whereby geraldine lost her head and her ability to speak english. shall write that if it comes out tomorrow. oh, today jemima was talking to onion about I dont know what before geog test, but suddenly she just said very loudly, "can I just die!" me and yannah turned back and said "Yes" super loudly at the same time, HAHA. see, similar sentiments all around, we can all go and jump off the school building. or maybe we will all drop dead for our last test, which is lit : perspective. the perspective of students is how we, would all like to die in the face of exams. nonono, we are cedarians! mighty mighty ones! so, jiayou muggers, cuppers!
@ 4:29 PM
" And oh, I plan to start World War 4, and invade Japan and steal their raw materials and some seeds from them. After that, i shall migrate to Thailand and start my own plantation, growing crops by wet rice cultivation. After i've earneed some money, i'll get bored of farming and will transfer to discovering science, and osmosis and diffusion and the human body. Then i will find the human body interesting and thus will become a lit teacher to teach human's perspective. But one day i will go broke because i buy too much dark chocolate and thus all the money is diffused out from my bank ): And this vicious cycle of poverty repeats " - quoted from Leenaleeshaoqi! yesyes, pretty good summary of all the test topics I guess, HAHA. but I, have another kind of study method. unlike leena, I dont eat dark choc, I eat..  Hello Panadas and Mango juice! Yesyes, Hello Pandas indeed. we have all turned into Pandas studying for the mulitutde of commontests. but I think mugging is quite fun actually. (: it is healthy for you actually okay! oh, I think I gained weight! no more binge-eating! am going to fast and have a primary diet of tibits and mango juice, which is rich in vit A, E and I dont know what! haha, they better pay me advertisment fees, I am such a nice person, do advertisment okay! I am feeling super high and random, off to cruch on more pandas while studying the diffusion of our body into parts for digestion? hello hubby, here I come! and I miss you, but you are happy, and for that I am contend. (:
Sunday, April 6, 2008 @ 7:05 PM
I am not supposed to be here. ohgosh. I finished history and lit, but I still have science, geog and geez, I feel so unprepared. I find that I am constantly unprepared for things. I never ever feel on top of the ball nowadays. yucks. right. dear me, I am sleepy. dozed during sermon, bad girl, me. Ice cream & luncheon with the bs group helped though. and ice cream made me damn high, high high into the sky of incoherence. constance thinks I am a weird species, cause I dont like shopping. As a matter of fact, I only do it for pure necessity, and I only go with my friends cause that's the general norm of a hobby. oh, I like the things at lab floret I realised. spent a lot of time studying the things on display while waiting for the humans to come out from Giordano. chior practise, HA. I cant believe I am Sop1 ya? with my thunder growling for a voice. okayokay, 'nough slackin already. geog, here I come. my brains' exploded though, I think that world war 2 is started by a bunch of shifting cultivatiors in the north side of thailand, next to a wet rice plantation. and they used minimal tools for weapons, so they would not spoil the soil structure. well, one thing's for sure, world war 3 is going to be started by me, as a bid not to take a week of tests, save me!
Friday, April 4, 2008 @ 9:37 PM
what's the meaning of trying so hard, when ultimately, you just dont have it in you? HP nominees were annouced today. Joy's one of them, yay. (: see, I have really really capable seniors okay! and in that same thought flow, it strikes me that I aint one. No matter how many times people tell me how they always see me with them, they dont know that I will never fit in, just truly, fit in. they try their very best to not make me feel excluded, they try, they really do, and I really really appreciate those efforts during the span of JG's. but the fact is, I wont be one of them. coz, I aint. I wont be as capable as them, wont be as good as them, and they pull it off effortlessly, it's part of them. cant say the same for myself I guess. that piece of paper on the board outside the PR really took more from me than I thought. talk by fiona didnt help either. doing the personality and leadership quiz didnt help either. and, el sec2s have to run for el exco. nopesnopes, not going to help at all. couldnt think during art. self portrayal? I only wanted to take a black color pencil and shade the box black, black, jet black. I couldnt say what I liked, who I was. cause, all of those notions were beaten down when I donned my blue-grey uniform. wait, I wasnt who I was either in primary school either. was just a face to a badge. an unworthy face at that. HA. sec1s have finished their interview already, will be welcoming the sec1s next week then. debaters at last, they have an identity to their cca, instead of hovering between the inbetween mark I guess. what have I become?
Thursday, April 3, 2008 @ 8:44 PM
Wishing you were somehow here again Were once my one companion You were all that mattered You were once a friend and father Then my world was shattered Wishing you were somehow here again Wishing you were somehow near Sometimes it seem if I just dream Somehow you would be here Wishing I could hear your voice again Knowing that I never would Dreaming of you won't help me to do All that you dreamed I could Passing bells and sculpted angels Cold and monumental Seem for you the wrong companions You were warm and gentle Too many years Fighting back tears Why can't the past just die Wishing you were somehow here again Knowing we must say goodbye Try to forgive teach me to live Give me the strength to try No more memories no more silent tears No more gazing across the wasted years Help me say goodbye'. fighting back fatigue and yawns, especially during history. haha, Yannah was soo tired, she slept across the chairs during our free period. Music considerable helped though, and got the tenniest bit of geography done. went out for lunch, and finally satisfied my cravings. (: oh! we walked from school to PotongPasir, dont know whose bright idea, and endangered all our lives! zomg! haha, GTQ, I swear I am going to kill you sometime soon! went to play at the playground thingy, and it was damn theraptic. haha, let's go do it again sometimes, though we should change out of school uniform! so childish! HAHA. well, this is more like the life of a school student lahs! and GTQ and Enrica were shouting across the road to talk. me and bel denied ever knowing enrica after that! and we dragged Jueying away too! and we all know now that Enrica is a super dao senior, handbellers beware! she does it on purpose one! meanie! me and enrica are usually on the same wavelength, but I can conclude that we have two differing things, or traits. one, our tempers and two, how we treat people. I dont like a distance between me and my juniors and seniors. but since I cant control how my seniors treat me, I make sure I dont talk down to my juniors or make them feel umcomfortable. cause that's one thing, I REALLY cannot stand. ahh, my earpiece spoilt. and I bought a new one, but I am ohsobroke now. urgh. people who own me money, quick quick pay up! XD okay, back to world war2, doesnt help that I just remembered things. funny, how everything seems to be able to be linked back to you. wrong application, should use it for lit and geog instead I guess. I want the right to dream.
Wednesday, April 2, 2008 @ 10:11 PM
watch the time tick, watch it flow away from you. if I had a choice, I'd take time, and wring it with both hands.
@ 9:57 PM
I feel, emo. I feel, useless. I feel, pent up. ahh, what's the scoop? I finished all my homework, at least, those I think that are worth time to do, not like RAFT. can probby come out with it within minutes, why bother to waste my time? I am doing geog revision, and I am still trying to rack my brain to think why plantation agriculture is not good for the people. as far as I can see, it is. I dont feel good, sniffs sniffs. sneezing like mad, and my throat says that it is protesting. not a good thing. I want a hot cup of coffee I want something really cheesy, as in food. I want lots of mayonaise laden food. I want something that tastes both spicy and sour. I want superbrains that can answer everything. I want eyes that are not heavy with fatigue I want a heart that is not trying to multi task into oblivion I want an intelluctual converstation that does not include stupid people being stupid I want many many things now. but everything will be alright, if only I had you. ah, dream on girl. read people's post, and I was feeling, stupid. hey xinfei, that guy isnt worth two nickels of your time, just that he dumped you before you could dump him instead. you had better not started smoking already, else I will be really really disappointed in you. as in, really really disappointed. I doubt you will see this, cause I aint really that important to you right? I remember not too long ago, life was beautiful. I remember not too long ago, I loved the people around me. I remember not too long ago, I was without a care. I remember not too long ago, I was a child. now, I am no longer one. but I ask, why the drastic change? why cant things remain the same, why must I learn to adapt, time and again, time after time? why always me, why not someone else doing it for me? yes, I am a brat. and I want to look, act and BE one. I want to stop being nice already. It is so restraining. I want things done MY way. I dont want to give in, to be tied down. YEAH RIGHT. I am asking for the impossible, I am asking for life to be changed. I know I am being unreasonable, but since it is a once a month thing, to heck with it. I want, I want and more I wants. someone, shoot me. I want to turn back the clock, so that I relive the memories, not only in dreams. sheesh. I hate myself. now I know why I am not worth. cause I am a brat, I only hide under the clothes and mask of civility.
@ 7:03 PM
I see relationships falling apart everywhere I turn I see open grief, and how they can lay it out for the world to see I see them act, how everything is oh so fine and dainty I see, and I know, how they bleed. what's the point, when all is gone? the roads travelled, the laughters shared. the private moments, when words are no longer needed to share what's on the inside. they at least, can lay it out and grief. haha, irony. how one misses life's simple measures, when they cant have it. Irony, indeed. Miss wan took our hist period, intending to do my geog with us. well, we ended up talking. HAHA. my class's fine fine tactics. all the wrong things eh. I dont know. I am reeling up there. went home with my juniors cause I was too lazy to wait for the seniors. haha, soon soon soon. debate juniors! (= funny, how they say you can "wake up" from nightmares, when the only way out I see for this is to sleep. |
protagonist Geraldine snow_ball1994@hotmail.com cedarian cedarELDDS;debator sec3ELfamilyofai! clique1H'07; 2H'08 Echo 2008 ; the ten of us, plus the four instructors <33 ♥ The most important things are the hardest to say, because words diminish them. archives September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 ledastray
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