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Saturday, May 31, 2008 @ 10:00 PM
hello worldddd. I'm at Caris house. hehs, everyone say hi to the bimbotic-ness bestie of mine! ohgawd. I feel like some big camp jiejie who is supposed to be nice and nice and sugarsweet nice and nicer and nice. haha, which I will be, soon. church camp, doing children's ministry. ohwells, no enduring of boring sermons. will be helping kids take off pants for the poo instead. cant honestly say I mind, cause i loveeee kids. maybe that opinion will change soon, I have no idea. I swear, I always want to post. & it'll be something beyond the comprehension of normal human beings, myself included, and thus, I'll happily delete it. anyway, someone just told me that she only reads the grey parts of my post, hmm. haha, I thought people would read the easier to read white parts, HAHA. people, pei me do homework, I am terribly backdated. well, maybe not that bad, but still.. leena, shut up. I am sleepy! and I have been cycling and swimming alot. no dark complexion though, sadd. bonding time! <3333
Thursday, May 29, 2008 @ 12:05 AM
sometimes globalisation is really bad. really really bad. sometimes the internet is really bad. really really bad. but sometimes, you still see the warm side of the world on these mindless machines. http://youtube.com/watch?v=Pr7D-HcxZ7w&feature=related I scroll down to the comments section. and then, I smile alittle, cause then I feel the warmth of the world. the world downright's stupid, downright depressing, downright grey. there's no black and white. fear, hate. competitiveness, people fight, aimlessly. respect? mutual love? memories? childhood? let's cry together. the world wont stop revolving when you die. but I'm sure, if you breathe hard, maybe the bitterness wouldnt go away like that, but I'm sure you'll see, that the world will try to support you. sad and happy, warm yet empty. yearn for you here to talk to me. knock some sense into me, anyone?
Wednesday, May 28, 2008 @ 1:18 AM
I'm really high now, though doing maths has pretty much deflated my energy, I am still recovering from the aftermath. now it sounds wrong, hmm. HAHA. (: bel is always damn amused and she is forever scared of ugly OLD men when I tell her I am at the park. we highed on the phone for quite a while, considering that the news she delivered was essentially annoying and baddd. we need a day to go out and copy hw as a group again! maths is keeeling me. so, I know you are reading this. and though we went our seperate ways years ago, after many many tears (hey, it rhymes. beams), we kinda sorted it out right? I promised myself never to record you in any form, but this has gotta be one exception. hey, we might not be a pair, and you and I both know that we never were, but, I wish you all the best, and one fine day, when the air's clear, and the winds are calm. one fine day, when we both know what we want, and we have already reached our own personal goals, one fine day, if I hold out my hand, will you reach up to get it? maybe we travelled too far together, and we'd never go back to being who we were as primary sixes, innocent young kids. but can we still be friends, I wonder.
Tuesday, May 27, 2008 @ 3:14 PM
talking to you made me smile, laugh, and cry. there's something missing, something that I cant place a finger on. awkwardness, when it was never there before. goodluck buddy. I'll miss the ole you I guess. mhms, slackerish, much. ouch. wanted to go out with chickylau to mugg, but my mom wanted me to accompany her at home, so I did. I dont know why I am blogging now, with this wreck of a mind. I guess, I guess, it isnt easy to let go, it's even weirder when you assume another position, as another identity. Matt: if you're reading this, good luck for the 5th of June, I know you will do fine, and since I wont be doing anything or, wait, I dont know. Just to say that you'll do fine, and dont worry. though I am 100% sure that I'll laugh at your bald head. haha. you once promised that I could, remember? haha, fellow STM-er. (: and now I know people enlist in the morning. hehs, I wasnt supposed to know okay. it's raining outside, and I am driven by this longing to go out and walk, without an umbrella. cause noone would know I am crying then. no, I shall be sane and continue to burrow my way through homework. no, I shall curb it. went friendster surfing, and uploaded photos, after about a gazillion years. took a walk down memory lane. and it made me smile. gosh, I am doing everything but my homework, annoying me.
Monday, May 26, 2008 @ 11:58 PM
I'm supposed to be doing my hw, but newspaper reviews bore me. thus, that window is stagnant while I quiz surf. and I remember, not too long ago, you were doing it with me, and we'd laugh over the results, together.
@ 10:58 PM
I feel un-productive! omgosh, it feels well into the holidays even though it is only the first week,and I feel like a slacker, because of leenalee! and the fact that I havent really been pushing myself, and I took like a thousand years to get my geog presentation done. maths started, chinese started, almost finished, english, half a compre. wowwww, geraldine you suck. went school! (: haha, hope chinese Os was okay for the sec4s? music was damn funny. HAHA. though I dont really enjoy having to drag my lazy bum to school on holidays for redundant nonsense. debate "coaching" was fun, and well, I hoped I helped. and I hope they understood what I was talking about, which they claimed too. my throat's sore, and my hands ache from writing on the board. was always a more computer person.. I really need to do my work and not feel so slacker-ish! no brain degration for me, thank you. counting down to the days you leave.
Sunday, May 25, 2008 @ 9:17 PM
she woke up early in the morning today and curledup on bed with a cup of hot boh tea and read what Xinhui and Isabel describes as the boring queen elizabeth book. she went to church and sat through worship and games. she went for lunch and lost her appetite. she went for worship, where she fixedly looked at the screen, tried not to let tears glisten, was successful, and tried to smile as she always did. she enjoyed sermon, and she was elated to know that the speaker for SFcamp was confirmed. she had BS, then she went for the chior thing, and concluded that something is dreadfully wrong with her throat today. she blasted Girlfriend on the way out to the busstop to take bus to Aljunied MRT. she joined her mom she skipped dinner to research for coral's upcoming debate. she is feeling like a slacker cause Leenalee has already done so much homework and she has only done 1 copy. shucks. she is feeling like a down person and a high person, and thus concludes that she displays signs of going mad. she decides to ignore everything and do research. she decided what she was going to do, today. she is me. pathethic me.
Saturday, May 24, 2008 @ 10:10 PM
The heart clenches and unclenches, and all that you see is a serene, perhaps calm face? maybe the eyes betray it all, but that's beyond my control. - feeling of the day. reflection of yesteryear.. fly away youth, I bid you goodbye. you change faster than the wind, I swear. Leena's blog is damn depressing, and it's not because of all the _______ that is posted to a certain somebody we all know. HOWEVER, it contains the full list of our holiday homeworks, note the "s" and the schedule for commontests. and the fact that Mdm Audra will not be teaching us lit. I am damn tempted to moan and complain, but I am going to have a high EQ and not do so. (= much to look forward to over the hols, what with the various programmes, I am feeling weird now, I dont know why. one sentence to caris, and all I want to do is cry. but I am strong, and I will pull through. seriously, who am I kidding? myself perhaps.
Friday, May 23, 2008 @ 11:38 PM
interesting convestation that made me laugh my head off. (: SUPERSTARRR said: but I have scary seniors! ♥ Paper flowers and brittle hearts; said: haha are you very scared of them? SUPERSTARRR said: yesh! Superrrrr scary okay they all SUPERSTARRR said: they are damn cool but they very dao. ): SUPERSTARRR said: and I like them, but I am ohsoscared of them! SUPERSTARRR said: I see them always run in the opposite direction! budden when I dont see them I keep looking for them! ♥ Paper flowers and brittle hearts; said: hahah, you sound like one of my friends! hehs. SUPERSTARRR said: isit! why?! ♥ Paper flowers and brittle hearts; said: Lol, been exposed to the word ou yet? SUPERSTARRR said: nopesssss! ♥ Paper flowers and brittle hearts; said: nevermind then! SUPERSTARRR said: TELL ME JIEJIE! SUPERSTARRR said: are you scared of your seniors? ♥ Paper flowers and brittle hearts; said: haha I am not scared of them lahs! why need to scared! ♥ Paper flowers and brittle hearts; said: but sometimes I find the situation awkward and I feel weird, so I will just walk past or something. but I am not scared of them. SUPERSTARRR said: WHERE GOT JUNIOR DAO SENIOR ONE! ohgosh, I am sooo amused, ONION THO! I am thinking about you now lah loser! really really really, ouing amuses me to no extent! It takes so little to trigger the memories. I strolled along the stadium this morning, and it was all I could think of. can you tell the optimism's faked?
@ 8:31 PM
cedar annual cross country didnt begin on too positive a note, at least, for me. the rest of the day turned out just fine though. (= I waited for the damn bus for 45 mins, and still had to take a cab to reach TP on time, think of it. thankgosh I have the habit of planning early for my timing and I had left the house early. so annoying, the taxifare took a huge hole out of my pocket and I had serious heart palpitations while looking anxiously at the clock on my hp. spare my olddd heart please. the run/jog/walk was just fine, though cedar cheat my feelings and lied to me about the distance. the last lap was the most amusing though, and generally enjoyed the entire thingum, though being us, we lovee to moan and groan and moan about every single thing. cedar cheers, I love! elsec2s photowhored abit. hehs, and although we always have alot of scuffles when we work together for major stuff, it always turns out okay, right? lunch was amusing, and being in the bookshop was downright soothing. though I am sure bel and xinhui would beg to differ. hehs. (: starting up auto escalators and throwing face, HAHA. (: I am going to start on my holiday homework. so hardworking right! too lazy to upload pictures and blogger is being a sucker again.
Thursday, May 22, 2008 @ 11:52 PM
Why dont you just shut up for once? the world doesnt revolve around you only, dear. last day of school...of term2. been feeling lethargic lately, havent been the zesty self. I would welcome the break, and the prospect of holiday homework and a packed June doesnt seem to dampen the enthusiasm. wow, how enthusiastic I sound. clean up during SELC, and I threw my face infront of the sec4s. thanks ah, bel and enrica. tsk. now I am ohsohappy, cause the railings next to my seat are clean! Yay! and we didnt splash water on the floor afterall, and with the absence of the supposed to be brought vaccum cleaner *coughs!*, the classroom floor is not much cleaner. classrooms literally next to the highway are always dirty and dusty! went library with zheru, but due to the absence of a mugging mood, I didnt get any work done. well done geraldine. can it rain tomorrow so we dont have to go to Temeseak (spelling?) Poly to run cross country? I think I will get lost inside that humongous school! grr! oh, and old songs seem to be in the trend now. my class is currently crazy over Never Had a Dream Come True. " I never had a dream come true Till the day that I found you Even though, I pretend that I've moved on " Practically all the numbers on my handphone calendar are highlighted, there are a thousand and one things I need to get done, and I am totally lacking in motivation. wonderful.
Wednesday, May 21, 2008 @ 11:46 PM
just finished chatting to ferlin. and, I dont know. someone once told me not to fight wars that arent worth fighting. what are the wars worth for me to fight tooth and nail for then? sometimes, wars that needs to be fought cant be, cause the heart is willing. the flesh is weak. to you, yes you. you do know who you are, and you know what I am talking about. I dont know. that's my answer, I dont know. You're right, I dont know what I am doing, a farcry from the past.surely that is as clear to me as to anyone, the only area which isnt grey. It takes two hands to clap my friend, I dont know if one day, one day, say one fine day, when the sun is clear and there are no more tears, would you reach out yours to touch mine, just as a friend. I dont know; I only know, that I have a long way to go.
@ 8:49 PM
Funny how times make fools of men. today passed all too quickly before recess when we then dashed down for munch munch, before TOP period. To the drama girls: good job ya? I know you people had a super hard time prepping, and I assure you that it was fine. maybe some parts didnt turn out the way you wanted it to, and maybe there were minor screws here and there. but at the end of the day, you guys tried your veryvery best, and I think that's what's the most important. (: and I lost my respect for I think, half the sec4 level or something. how bitchy and annoying okay. sacarstic remarks, and it wasnt just constructive ones, those that would really sting if the people could hear. and it wasnt just during the play itself, they criticised during the asian music sharing thingy as well. cut some slack for them will ya? they are sec1s! sheesh. going for piano was trauma, through and through. this is already the second week! I am officially wary of bedok void decks. I really really dont want to generalise, but they have just given me the thinking that you wear that dirty green uniform, you are one of them. smoking, infront of me, declaring loudly that they are 15. well, what do you want me to do? stupid kids, cant study properly and make less trouble. sheesh, I am sleepy, and sleepy geraldine with chinese homework is terror. crankiness!
Tuesday, May 20, 2008 @ 9:24 PM
right, not that I have gotten all the sweet and nice stuff out of the way, I am going to haha, I promise myself, that I am going to fatten up my debate notebook with lots and lots of information. truly and honestly. well, I have to mean it right? else I wont post, cause otherwise I would just be dead. I hate being caught off guard for impromptus, especially when all you need to validate your point is that. eww. THW legalise abortion, cool motion, enough, and I think this is one of the first time that the sec2 team felt so prepared. we didnt screw though, and we're on the right track! (: school was terrible today. we were all sleepy for some weird reason. holiday mood alrdy! no no no that wont do, not when the teachers are trying so hard to dampen our moods with stacks of papers. how annoying!
@ 8:40 PM
after a request, I am going to post about debate in great detail. since everyone who knows me well knows I am crazy about debate or something, then of course you should know my team mates, cca mates, and with dual roles, my friends. (: ideally, I should have a picture with every "dedication" but, however, I dont have that many pictures. due to some of them still being onhold by *cough* babylove hinthint! I know no one save the debate team will read this. XD cause it is so longggg! The sec4s! estee!: haha,babyfury, and what not scandals. I swear, working with her and Joy during the start of the year for JGs is really one experience I am not likely to forget soon. she *coughs- cause this is embarrassing* is very very nice, very caring towards us, her juniors, & very diplomatic as a leader. though she looks very dao( -something she is never ever going to admit ), especially in the morning, when she's on duty. debate will surely feel weird without her making us pull up our socks or *cough* The sec3s!
The loves - Sec2s!
good luck to the sec4s for the upcoming Os, and the whole team is behind you! dont forget us okay!
Monday, May 19, 2008 @ 11:20 AM
Holidays! I lovee. well, that is before I get so sick of lounging around at home and moan and groan to want to go to school. but times like these, a short break inbetween hectic school, is always a welcome. so, inspired, or more because I promised my tp that I would do such a thing like that, and with a huge reason that I am feeling sentimental. here goes. (: presenting, the people who make me life worth living.
sherilyn lau - more commonly known as TP! which stands for tablepartner, for those fools out there. TP! remember our dumb TP pact, and you are going to reserve a day for me during the junehols for us to mug mug mug together! we always argue and make noise, since last year until now also the same. (: but we are going to be there for each other right? (:
Zayanah - zeee or yannah, or cat eating human! by the book! - hehs, only she knows what I am talking about. she and her band, and she is going to say me and my debate. but but but, this terrible person is also my lifesaver, be it sharing textbook with me, listening to me grumble about anything and everything, discussing _____'s smelly cologene, gossip gossip, who knows what we do not do! banana muffins!
the remaining of the clique. we were much bigger last year not? but people left, and people "joined" whatever. recess gang, after pe go steal into the canteen buy cold drinks, 2.4 pacers and what not, I love you guy alot alot, even if I occassionally get so irritated that I dao you for an entire day. but at the end of the day, you guys know I dont really stay angry that long right?   eldds- debate! haha, now we are looking at the people who is going to really be with me throughout the entire study period in cedar. sec2s! all our nonsense, working together always is an experience, bad or good, it is always a mixture right? we're gonna make our sec4 year rock for us and our juniors! debate! my highlight of the week, all the time. the adrealine pumping, being awed by our seniors, learning together, developing out sense of logic, which will give us an edge next time over our counterparts. debate jacket!
well, then again, my life is not just about school isit? CHURCHIES! cycling through east coast, making noise, being us. we are the love. (: let's hope hope hope the bond lasts ya?
Sunday, May 18, 2008 @ 11:29 PM
Instructions: Remove one question from below, and add in your personal question. Make it a total of 20 and tag 8 ppl. 1. At what age do you wish to get married? I know it is good to think and plan ahead, but really, isnt that abit too far off? 2. If you can have a dream come true, what would it be? To not dream at all. /: 3. Who is the person you trust the most? myself. - cynicism 4. Do you think you have enough confidence? haha, perhaps. depending on what you are talking about. generally, very much yes. 5. something that is clean! not antiseptic, just smelling fresh. (: 6. Do you believe in seeing a rainbow after the rain? I dont really bother to find one. moreover I think this is a figurative question? 7. What is your goal for this year? To be the best senior or junior that I can be, to be a good teamate, give my best for debate, and to mugg like mad for my studies. 8. Do you believe in eternal love? define love. 9. Have you broken someone's heart to the extent that he/she tried to commit sucide? would I know. probably no, I am not a lovable lovely person. 10. What feeling do you love the most? A mixture of them. 11. What are the requirements that you wish from your other half? It is too far to say. a perfect fit doesnt exist. and opposites attract - or are supposed to be. 12. What feeling do you hate the most? lethargy - the strength and motivation is gone. like poof, 13. Do you cherish every single friendship of yours? I try very very hard to. (; 14. Do you believe in God? I do, it is the extent I question. 15. What do you think is the most important thing in your life? friends, family, seniors, school, especially debate, everything, that shapes me as I am today 16. Who cares for you the most? That is a question you can answer, why need me to answer? 17. Describe the person who tagged you in 5 words sherilyn lau - TP, lovely, occasionally irriates me, mugger buddy! (oops, exit limit alrdy) cassandra! - Onion, daughter, slacker!, smspro, funny! 18. Who is the person that you care the most? haha, I am not obliged to answer this right? /: 19. If life were to start from 100-0 instead of 0-100, would you want it? no, thankyou. so degrading 20. Would you sacrifice yourself for your love ones? Yes. Tagging: eeyer, most people alrdy tagged alrdy lehs! 1. carislau 2. yapxinfei 3. sherilyn(oops) 4. bel 5. zheru
@ 9:01 PM
today felt good, really really good. (: church as usual. BS was thought provoking, but I didnt really wanted to press my point. to each his own view, I guess. group prayer.., hmm. worship today was damn screwed. all three of us forgot we were taking worship, so much for being responsible. stupid geraldine. so disgusted with myself. I hate last minute, and zhongqi wasnt around, so we had to get Justin to sub. thanks for the help Justin, for being so spontaneous and just saying yes without second thoughts. you literally saved me and hx's butts. ouch. meeting, hmms. I could just bring it over in one sentence: no development. went out afterthat, but not with the churchies, who had gone out for a movie. never fancied movie watching when I have an interesting afternoon planned. though I am disappointed in something, mhm- thought you'd known what I meant, but apparently you didnt. roamed suntec, and boy, I walked like a thousand miles just looking for them, and then walked another thousand miles with them. never been a fan of shopping, but these people make it worth it. and there werent much done, what with the guys making noise whenever the girls went in and showed signs of not wanting to come out. for the first time, I had companion sulking outside the shop.(: different backgrounds, different environment, different schools, different titles (or no titles). but who cares? to the leaders of '05-'06, whether we are right now or not, cheers. now I feel contentedly sleepy. but I need to pack my room soon, with the arrival of more books, my room is once again in disarrays.
Saturday, May 17, 2008 @ 11:07 AM
Read my previous post and realised what a total bitch I was.okay, I am not jealous of people, well, maybe a little? sometimes not being a pupil leader is good, and really fun. cause you dont have to feel obliged to tie yourself to all the school rules. but times like, this, sheesh. so uncharacteristic of me. well, one thing greatly amused me in the morning though, someone told me she was gonna stalk me. haha, coool. to have your stalker tell you she is going to stalk you, what kinda stalker is that you tell me. HAHA. ohgosh, it is so early (okay, maybe not so early) and I am sleepy! AND I WANT MACS BREAKFAST, treat, anyone?
Friday, May 16, 2008 @ 11:05 PM
I dont know to describe my mood as good or bad. it was good, all the way, I was literally zi-highing in the hall during MTP & shini was as usual trying to whack me into shutting up. then I came home to check out the Icedar website, and my mood took a 180degree turn, for the bad. out of the 4 courses I am interested to take, I can only take one. and why is that so? because, I am not a pupil leader, neither have I been chosen for a talent. cause I aint, not? shant elaborate, meet the parents was fun. (: well, I am only saying that cause my mom didnt go. and that particular streaming talk, it didnt give me either the boost of inspiration I craved, nor the brightening up of any particular path I should take. the speaker last sunday spoke something that struck me, hard. we forget to leave the most vital decisions to god. and I wonder, am I scared of the fact that I have no control when I do let go? Lord, I put it to Your hands. where did my high high high in the sky go?
Thursday, May 15, 2008 @ 9:42 PM
I finally realised, that I was feeling really tensed over the pass few days, only after swimming just. I feel sooooo good now. my whole body feels terribly languid, and thankgosh I have already finished my homework, cause my muscles feel too relax to move. and I am in a smiley mood. (: toady was a terribly, err, exciting day? I only know I banked in about a thousand unglam photos or something, thanls ah, irritating irritants! what kinda people you are! hist free period, ♥. though I am rather concerned at the fact that we havent had much lessons, having lost so many..? my gradesss! and I declare that LEENALEESHAOQI is the MEANEST thingum alive! and she is about the funniest person in class, HAHA. Mr Leng's Gucci wallet is going to stay in our minds for a longgg time and we are gonna crack up everytime we think of her experssion! HAHAHA, like she very poor like that! daddy Astar scientist okay! then since bel decided to steal my shoe, I ask leena help me take back (bel cannot win leena one!) leena, "orh", take my shoe put outside! zomggg! and bel low also, super lame. hahaha, onion (bel interlock fingers with her push her): what you doing ah? bel: wrestling lah! onion: HUH? orh. ( poof! bel is at the other end of the classroom le!) better stil during LJ. bel: LEENA LEE I WANT TO KILL YOU! (I forgot over what alrdy!) (fingers over leena's throat) leena: hur? okay, (leena ontop of belbel, bel bel trying to free herself!) HAHA, ohmy, that sounds wrong, and would have looked wrong save leena's expression! I am so gonna miss all these! EL photo taking was amusing, oddly. and we went to mug at KFC after running about 6 times from first to forth level trying to look for certain irresponsible teachers! me and shinigami power! sorry to make you run! but I cant stand slow pace! today is such a funny day! HAHA!
Wednesday, May 14, 2008 @ 8:03 PM
on a very very happy note, Joy Priya, my debate captain, is the head prefect 08-09. (: 'grats! I wasnt exactly praying for someone to be the hpc, more like someone not to be. nevermind, only morning crowd will know what I am gabbling. and sherilyn's pure evil, I conclude! I feel unwell. like really unwell. not sick. just not feeling well. I have no idea why, but I have like rock hard arms and thighs, and I cant move without wincing. suspect it has got something to do with 5stations yesterday, but I have never had so much pain after doing fivestations. tottering on high heels isnt going to help that's for sure. let's hope I can walk properly on sunday. -grimaces- tomorrow's Yannah bday, and since I know she isnt going to see this till it is too late, I am glad to say that I, the rodent, successfully tricked the cat. I told her I couldnt get any banana muffins(her faves!) and that I had bought blueberry walnut muffins, when actually, it is banana walnut! whoever heard of blueberry walnut muffins! sound eekish! and I told her I am going to just give her a peck, when I did buy her a sunflower! and she told me she loved me! she is going to love me more tomorrow then! (: I love my cateating partner! and I am the cow who gives off methane and you need to count my fart to pay taxes right Yannah? - inside joke! - oh, and I swear, that this year's juniors always make me choose between being mildly annoyed and being amused. obviously being the nice sweet person I am - hehs, I always choose the latter. In two days, they have 1. called me gerald, something only my ccalevel mates does. not even my classmates call me that, gosh! 2. shouted "hi", from one end of the corridor. (this may not seem amusing, but for me, who thinks twice before I wave to estee or joy, it is a very big deal.) 3. been rude to my fellow ccamates who is their seniors and causing me to laugh hysterically. and I have no idea is it because I am being more exposed to juniors and people who ou seniors, or isit that everyone has bian huai. cause I am hearing more and more of people ouing their seniors, something that always terribly amuses me. moreover, people think that I ou a certain senior, which is a definite no no. how is it possible for me to ou someone? admire perhaps, not ou. maybe I am abnormal. hmmm. this is getting randomer!
Tuesday, May 13, 2008 @ 6:39 PM
I feel terribly out of sorts. Estee asked me why am I, a sec2 so tired, and I couldnt reply. honestly, I couldnt. I just felt so terribly tired today. slept during the last ten minutes of geog, and since Mdm Audra didnt come into class, the first half of lit as well. wow, the headache when I woke up was sufficient to kill me. It went well into debate, I assure you. anybody holding an effigy beating my haed, I can tell you that it is a very effective move. debate, was amusing, violent to a certain extent because of the cross fire, and me and mich are just downright mad. super violent during crossfire, then we sit down and laugh like mad. XD that's called debatespirit okay! something about NS men, that I have zerooo knowledge about. if you are reading this buddy, thanks for the help I am super super tired now, and I have many many things to clear, wish me luck. to the sec4s! dont be so discouraged! this is just MYEs! you still have prelims and the big Os so jiayou!
Monday, May 12, 2008 @ 10:46 PM
I tried to sketch love, and subconsciously, I thought of you and her. today wasnt such a bad day as we expected afterall. the damn buzz@canteen is finally off our backs, thankgosh. I was really proud of our class, and to the clique, we wouldnt have pulled it off without you people's voices! class spirit at its very, though some tried hard to dampen, it was OK, afterall. (= Night-tress shinigaminevercome school today, poor belbel was so fretting, and we all called her a dozen times each at least, hoping so hard that she had NCC meeting and WAS in school. fact soon sank in though, but yesh, we pulled it off, and many many many thanks to you, my friend, for all the planning and the fretting and the super cool NCC voice that always get the class to sit up and pay attention! belbel! you are super calm and cool lah, I love you! see! you didnt do so bad without shinigami around! capable vice! (= did lapcount for re-run 2.4. whoosh, some of the sec4s can really run, 9mins, ohmy. never see them slacken the pace at all. and I probably malued myself infront of the sec4s, yucks. that's why you dont ever do lapcount on your own, cause anything happens, at least you got companion to malu together. saw the cedar spirit shinning oh-so-bright today at least, from the sec4s and the pacers. so touched, so happy. tution was terrible. some stupid guy went on and on and on about BMX. and he was spouting nonsense, I know that much. well, I should know. and I wanted to just like gnash his head off, irritating. big shot stories. unwanted thoughts, surely. and I feel really tired. for some weird reason. weariness, it is consuming me.
Sunday, May 11, 2008 @ 7:24 PM
refering to a certain someone tagging on a certain associations' blog, I am like totally disgusted and pissed off at the level of what, graciousness. sure, your name is supposed to denote gracefulness, but, you have no level of grace, or anything for that matter. you just remind me of a egoist primary 2 who thinks that because she has 90 she is better than a secondary 2, and if she meant it in a kidding tone, it might have been mildly amusing, but now, it is just damn stupid and irritating. I'd fear for the sanity for the school if YOU take over. actually I would fear for alot alot of things if you did. bs made me feel down in the dumps. smiling and pretending everything's damn fine. well, for the record, no I havent forgotten, and no, I dont curse them. much as I pretend that everything's fine, it isnt. and it wont be in the near, forseeable future. and I wish for the past, for the forever vibrating phone, not the silent thing I have now. and so many other things, I thought I had forgotten. still down heart, still down now.
Saturday, May 10, 2008 @ 11:39 PM
I feel drunk. dont ask me why, I just do. been feeling like drinking something that is strong enough to knock me out but I didnt, but I just feel drunk, all the same. drunk on what, that's the question. right now, it is swinging between the pendulum of happiness and misery, mhm. cell wasnt very exciting, except for the fact that I have been going to too many funerals for the general wellbeing of my mental and physical health. developing a phobia of looking into coffins to pay final respects. that's what urghs me, the fact that we are staring at a body looking like it is some exhibition. weird, never had this kinda feeling when I was younger. &the thing that you sorta realise that life is fragile and the world around you which always seems so reliable and sturdy and stable is also very fragile, frankly, that frightens me, it does, badly. what can I say? I like steady stuff, like facts and logics and figures. things that are tangible, I can fight. things that arent, I feel helpless. and I hate it so much, that feeling. I feel like some weird insect now that's being scrutinised. mhms. and I want to watch the ghost show that's playing on tv now. I love them and I fear them. I love to be frightened, and I hate being frightened. contradictions, that's my life.
Friday, May 9, 2008 @ 11:29 PM
-glare, glare, and double glare- some stupidddd person, yesh, decided to push me really hard against the door, and now my shoulder's aching. 4 chinamen, think I young can bully me isit. tsk. me and yannah were having a laughing fit today during english! haha, cat swallowing humans! -inside joke!- Takashimaya - 大家去买鸭 - gasp, mrs Jai said this okay! she has like perfect chinese accent or something, I feel so ashamed! Kinokuniya- 剃头不丽呀 - and I thought of this, cause I was thinking about heading there. hehs. we are so screweddd for buzz at canteen on monday, I swear. last minute actions, not that we didnt have fun making them up during chinese. bimbotic actions! woots! girls school powerrr! let's pray that the class will co-operate for once and dance and sing with us, or that the whole two sec1 and 2 level decided to fast, and not go for recess! FAT HOPE. there goes my face. yuck, ouchy. oh, I dont know. I have alot of things to blog about, but they are just like, here and there, and nowhere. I enjoyed school today, dont say I am weird, I will seriously smack you. like with all properiety kind. picked it up from sya. hehs. I feel, tired. but I am gonna finish the chinese compo crap before I head off to bed. random: buying assessments today for english made me go -mouth hang open- I found the pract stuff mrs Jai gave us. it is in O level CHALLENGING ENGLISH COMPREHENSION and Olevel distinction for english. zomg. and I found our hist question too. either cedar is seriously kiasu, or they gave it to the wrong level. hmmmmmm.
Thursday, May 8, 2008 @ 10:13 PM
I feel heavy and light hearted at the same time. day's been a twirl and a whirl, and monotone and long. worked with the sec2s for the invitations for the sec4s. bonding time. hehs, pictures are with nanthini, and we're gonna have an sec2 el blog! common vision..for me to know and for you to find out! family of the sec2slovelies! saw ______ pawing someone on the train back with shar. I was so tempted to slap him. he practicallly swore undying love to _____ yesterday, and today..? I am not going to generalise, but between these guys around me, prime examples that I see, I am going to be a very cynical person. and, hell. I aint going to be a very trusting person, especially when it concerns the opposite sex. so many things are making me feel, weighted down. fatigue I guess, I am a very boiling person. I overcame many things and finished the back of the invitations though, (; and funny things happened in the classroom. I am just not in the mood. I want to disappear. and I want to hear you. hear, figuratively. tired. mentally tired. physically exhausted. the things in my life all add up, and killed the fire in me, it took more out of me than I thought. weariness, bogging me down.
Wednesday, May 7, 2008 @ 10:36 PM
sometimes you wish that you had a new name, a new identity, in a whole new place where absolutely no one no one no one knows you, and everyone's going to judge you on first impression, and where nothing, absolutely nothing, in your past would marr or make your present. nice? yesh, but it is not reality, isit? was given a shot at it when I entered cedar, and I think, I think, I screwed it up. compare primary and secondary, a farcry, indeed. hmm. I got a chance to change the way I wanted, and I screwed it up. screw you, geraldine. went out with my daughter and mardi today for stuff. just stuff ya, hehs. went to scrapbooking shop and many many gift shops. plaza sing has this shop that sells nice stuff, however, onion pointed a game, that read, foreplay for adults. two dices, and where it lands, you touch that area. I gasped at that, and afew other similar stuff, and I turned my head only to realise the saleguy smiling amusedly. embarrassment! anyway, to onion who knows what I am talking about, I completed the _____ for _____ alrdy! (: shall bring it to school tomorrow for you to see ya! haha, and I cant do art for nuts. cuting, pasting, designing made me more tired than I felt chionging cases. right, Mr Leng gave us a wake up call today. and yesh, I am fully awake now. thanks to both Mrs Jai and Mr Leng. rightrightright, time to pull up the socks!
Tuesday, May 6, 2008 @ 9:44 PM
Today. Tomorrow. Yesterday. sometimes I have the feeling that life is all just a big debate, that which can be neatly classified into issues and taken apart. yet sometimes I think that life is just, a dream. a big illogical and silly thing. why cant I seem to find any middle ground, hmm?
Monday, May 5, 2008 @ 11:14 PM
gosh. god knows what I am doing on this page, when I am doing first prop for a policy debate tomorrow, and I dont have a complete case. mhms. I am half asleep, great. my eyes are gonna close any minute, and I have been through 3 cups of coffee, a cup of mac's iced latte, and 2 cups of boh tea. should be on caffine overload, but no, that's not happening. what's wrong with me. had fun today, and I dont regret one bit that I went to get the materials for invitation with the other three rather than going home to piang case, knowing I have maths tution at night. nopes, not one bit. I had fun, and this is what it is supposed to be, planning stuff, doing it as a group, and getting lots of bonding done. I still remember last year! (: the sec2 family! and I insist that Kiran's daddy, absolutely. dont replace my hubby okie! though mummy sounds weird. o.0 right, off to develop case, and I havent touched maths. yucks. can I bring it down to PE and do it since we are gonna get "off" tomorrow? oh, I got my 2.4 alrdy. thanks for pushing me guys, and thanks for running with me, much appreciated, muacks muacks. "run or I'll poke you!" - silly buddy! lovelovelove! and much love to my captain, aka as my second speaker. for knowing that I am bushed, and I am not going to have a functioning brain, and giving me such a nice skeleton for me to build up on. gossip ah gossip, outside the staffroom, digress! debate secret, shhh! oh, enrica broke a testube, and we spoilt our experiment TWICE. we rock lah! thermal expansion and contraction. -secret: we spoilt it on purpose cause leng told us that it would spoil, and we wanted to see that spoilt result. hehs.- I still am curious to see the mercury ball ball. let's break one on purpose with permission next time. like it will neber come or something, please.. I am psycho. /:
Sunday, May 4, 2008 @ 9:25 PM
not to be named: "what should I do when you fall into the depths of love?" geraldine: "mhms, wait to get a heartbreak." haha, I am such a spoilspot, such a wet blanket. well, beats lying through my teeth. well, subjectively speaking, there is no politically correct answer, and I never had a great liking for them anyway. I am addicted to Rihanna's cry again. not to be named: " why do people emo? " geraldine: "why do people act like they are not emoing?" rhetorical questions are my forte friend. you aint going to win on home ground. I dont know why I am posting. I havent finished my long overdue homework, yuck. stupid chinese, I just want to sleep and not dream. right, I am going to climb into bed and sleep. right. like I will clamber onto the bed now, and I will sleep if I actually do. nahs. I feel, weird.
@ 5:36 PM
what I really hate really hate really hate about myself is the fact that I cant just turn my head and ignore, and bury the past, and tell myself that _____ is no longer the _____ that I once knew. I must turn and look, pull apart the scab that probably had already formed during the week, feel down afterwards, act okay, look cheerful, emo on the bus or the car home, hop down to the library sometimes, and go back and face the computer, the whole mind buzzing. hmm. then the whole cycle repeats, week after week, again and again. destructive cycle. one day I am just going to burst , I just know it. combined worship, in every sense. combined chinese and english. funny moments, me nursing a hangover like headache despite having not touched any alcohol last night, unless you count a small sip of some rose wine. served food during the buffet. everyone's tongs-holding hand shook after that. helped to keep all the chairs with the rest. fun, and the sweating and the movement took my mind off things, and gave me a valid excuse to be upstairs. speaking of which, I am still nursing that headache, and I am starting to feel the stirrings of hunger, and as such, will go and get something to nibble on.
@ 12:01 AM
haha, I am soo happy now. thanks! shant post name, else you are going to get hell from the rest. well, actually, so am I. haha, they dont understand the word platonic you see. went to this french place for dinner, yum yum. and it was really quite cheap, thank you for the treat nevertheless. well, you insisted on it, what birthday treat. it was over a million hours ago! anyway, the highlight is the food, and the companion made it a much happier thing.restaurant's highly recommended! thanks for the evening pal. havent laughed so much for awhile. old friend rock the house down! to you, on the otherhand. mhms. instinctively recoiled and deleted the three hours late reply. I think I know why it's so late. dont know why you still bother to reply, friend. I am going to finish the stupid IT nonsense, and marvel at some people's stupidity.
Saturday, May 3, 2008 @ 11:20 AM
" guess what, i drew up my birthday list. aren't i amazing? its only may and i'm drawing up my birthday list. i demand presents from every single person in 2H. (jk luh, those know who you are, don't act blur) " - bel's post. hahah, who ah who ah who ah? me ah? no right? hehs. yesh, so admist all the nonsense yesterday, I totally forgot about the spot check that proved to give us much entertainment. imagine two people who are famous for short skirts and who I have never seen spotting a touch-the-knee skirt, wear skirts that suddenly can sweep the floor. hilarous, we laughed till there were tears in our eyes. ! everyone's scared of another spot check on monday, so everyone's gonna wear sweep the floor skirts. the school will be so clean! - I snapped a picture of the two long skirts that they were wearing, but it shant be posted, incase I get killed. :D interested parties, get from me. yesh, I pro. can sneak photos infront of the teacher. (:
Friday, May 2, 2008 @ 8:19 PM
I want.
@ 8:01 PM
I am damn pissed, and I am feeling damn irated, and crap, I feel like crap. day was okay, till I came home. I think it is super ironic how my mom can give free tutions and help people who are weak in maths, science and english and teach those super horrid students chinese tution. and she has zero time for me, and she thinks that whatever I do I should get. my brother is in like PSLE year, and the stress I had in that year was tenfold of his, cause I had more commitments, and I was in one of the most competitive classes.my mom never ever praise my results. never ever. yet this year, she has been taking to personally supervising, and going on and on about how stress the poor son is. excuse me. look at his work, it is rubbish, pure and simple. it is like not even half my workload at that age, and I didnt get the poor daughter treatment. all she does, was to go through my test papers, not alot since it is like only thrice in a year, and scream at me for mistakes or when I dont know how to do, saying how easy it was, and how I couldnt do it cause of the X and the Y factor, blabla. well, I did pretty well for PSLE. now, she asks for my help to do maths questions, ironically, the ones that she once scolded me for not knowing how to do. no thanks to you, I know how to do them, and I can just blink and get the answer. and I say things like: I thought you say very easy? and she blows her top and right. I didnt need your help then. and I dont need your help now. and since I am damn dumb and all. dont ask for my help hell. I feel like crap and I feel bitchy and I feel like rambling and throwing her words back at her. who is to say anything? I am not worth her time, only her students and the darling son is. sec2s are incharge of invitation for sec4s farewell. and I dont want to say goodbye, not yet. time is slipping past me, too fast. went for lunch with the two, and when we went to the gift shop to look at cute stuff, it suddenly struck me that I can no longer be certain of a present, a wave, a smile when I pass by these two in the future. that's how fast time is slipping, and how I want it to stop, to let me savour the moment abit more. kiran's email made me smile for awhile, then I cried. I remember SAIDs debate, I remember so many things, before things changed. before things are the way they are now. I just want to break down and cry and scream and shout. I just want to hear your voice, but I know I should be strong. I dont want to be strong, I dont want to not be a junior. I want to rely on someone reliable, like estee or joy, I dont want to be responsible for anyone, I want to enjoy this devil may care attitude. I dont want things to change, I dont want. I want fiona to coach me for debate I dont want mal to leave for IP I want Kiran back to make me laugh I dont want to switch classes I dont want to grow up. I dont want to cry anymore, for stupid things that I cant change. I dont want to think. let me off please. let me fight my own demons. I know tears arent going to change anything, but they dont want to listen to me they just flow and flow and flow. |
protagonist Geraldine snow_ball1994@hotmail.com cedarian cedarELDDS;debator sec3ELfamilyofai! clique1H'07; 2H'08 Echo 2008 ; the ten of us, plus the four instructors <33 ♥ The most important things are the hardest to say, because words diminish them. archives September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 ledastray
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