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Saturday, May 10, 2008 @ 11:39 PM
I feel drunk. dont ask me why, I just do. been feeling like drinking something that is strong enough to knock me out but I didnt, but I just feel drunk, all the same. drunk on what, that's the question. right now, it is swinging between the pendulum of happiness and misery, mhm. cell wasnt very exciting, except for the fact that I have been going to too many funerals for the general wellbeing of my mental and physical health. developing a phobia of looking into coffins to pay final respects. that's what urghs me, the fact that we are staring at a body looking like it is some exhibition. weird, never had this kinda feeling when I was younger. &the thing that you sorta realise that life is fragile and the world around you which always seems so reliable and sturdy and stable is also very fragile, frankly, that frightens me, it does, badly. what can I say? I like steady stuff, like facts and logics and figures. things that are tangible, I can fight. things that arent, I feel helpless. and I hate it so much, that feeling. I feel like some weird insect now that's being scrutinised. mhms. and I want to watch the ghost show that's playing on tv now. I love them and I fear them. I love to be frightened, and I hate being frightened. contradictions, that's my life. |
protagonist Geraldine snow_ball1994@hotmail.com cedarian cedarELDDS;debator sec3ELfamilyofai! clique1H'07; 2H'08 Echo 2008 ; the ten of us, plus the four instructors <33 ♥ The most important things are the hardest to say, because words diminish them. archives September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 ledastray
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