♥ for all that we've done,

Sunday, November 30, 2008 @ 6:16 PM

it must have been hard on you today; to listen to us talk like that. I read the embarrassment and anger in your eyes. but there was nothing I could do. it's always like that. less than a dozen sentences between us. I'll look at the twilight, and miss you so. I've moved on, but comfort's such a scarce commodity these days.

oh, and did I add that I'm really tired these days? I fell asleep during sermon, how embarrassing. nevermind, at least I was at the back. guitar makes my fingers hurt. but it's ok, I've taken it up,so I'll see it through.

the heat's building for SF camp now. SF camp comm 2008, I'm sure nothing bad will go wrong. however, sometimes a bit of brains before sputtering comments will be much appreciated.

I realised that along with everyone else, it's easy to take forgranted what's just in front of you.

for now, my banging head and sore throat calls for me to do something that doesnt invovle brains. quite bad of me, no? I'm still half done with COALs reflections. geez.

@ 12:27 AM

It's so hard for me to lock you out, but do it I must. once's enough. you wont ever know how I feel, cause I will never let you know. gosh, I miss you. but letting you know, will not be wise. so I wont. it hurts, it stings. it really does.

Saturday, November 29, 2008 @ 10:33 AM

this is my third, and it shall be the last about coals. I am serious. it's time for us to move on. times were tiring, unbearably sad, and sweet. but we're all leaders, and we need to move forward. echo, this sounds heartless, but, it's time to swipe tears away, and move on. memories will remain forever, but dont cry.

our ring meant two things. that we were unique, and that we were bonded.
the card that instructor alicia and amanda gave us, had a sun infront, cause we were their sunshine
the boxes of chocolates that were given to us by our instructors,
the words,
the hugs,
the encouragement,
the support,

these were their gifts to us, the tangible ones.

more than anything, the thought behind all of them can make me tear at a thought.

they put thought into all the gifts they gave to us. our first bar of time out was to tell us that time was precious. the ring was to help us learn a lesson. the card wasnt titled, camper. names were painstakingly typed out. the sun was cut out, the card had to be cut out. it mustnt have been an easy job.

they must have been tired during the camp. we must have disappointed them, but they never ever gave up on us. they motivated us, time and again. when they scolded us, it was for us. for us to learn. when they were tired, it must have been hard to encourage when you wanted to grouch. but they did it.

the biggest gift that instructors gave to us, were themselves. live, walking examples, of leadership in action.

Labels: COALs

Thursday, November 27, 2008 @ 11:37 AM

I had a nightmare last night.

I was on the high e's again, but this time, there was no encouragement coming
from below. but this time, no one bothered to tell me to move on. I was high up
but the hostility was clear. The belayer was pissed, the anchor man was happily
talking to the backup belayer, laughing at the fool I was. I was scared. I started to cry
and it somehow triggered an asthma attack. I couldnt breathe, but no one noticed. I
didnt dare say, so I just tried to sit down on the steel string. I lost my footing.

I woke up and sat down there for a long time, letting the tears flow. I owe so much to Instructor Caroline, My belay team, Echo 1, My games team, Instructor Alicia, the teachers. Way up there, they really kept me going. kept me from just saying ''falling", from just giving up. I owe them so much, so much. It might not really be anything, but it really meant so much. so much.

They gave me the precious gift of support.

Labels: COALs

Wednesday, November 26, 2008 @ 9:17 PM

so, it's out from camp and back into civilisation. oh, two interesting things about camps that I crystallised in my head. one, anyone realised that a good camp always seems to draw you away from civilisation and the"outside" world? and two, I somehow find it oddly amusing that as much as campers like to boast to other campers what their instructor's done for them, the instructors do it too. dont get me wrong, I do it too. but it is just so amusing. (:

the night before coals was spent with the debate seniors. oddly enough, debate outing turned out to be 3 people. just as well. we ate fish and co., watched mamamia at estee's, where I had as much fun laughing at Joy's various expressions as I had at the show. casual chitchats, nothing to chiong, and what more can I say? I love my seniors, and I like conversations with estee. my going home senior. enjoy your post Os hols!

coals. I hope no instructors find this, but that's too much to wish for, and I really am too much of a pig to change IP add or lock it up. so. ohwells.

last night was literally, the last night.

it felt sad sitting down at breakfast this morning and listening people rush each other out of the dorms.

it felt sad not being scolded at mass debriefs, to hear the instructors tell us that we were their sunshines.

it felt sad doing mass billybanjah, thousand legged worm, for the last time, as the very special bunch of 08 campers. to sing linger again and again, to sing you're not alone, to sing doing that thing with you, to cry and sing at the same time.

we cried. it was hard not to. I think back of all the times echo spent in the student lounge, eating, screaming, arguing, practising, slacking, playing, talking, bitching. to know that alpha is only next door, to hop around, to say hello and goodbye to that ugly gorilla outside the room, sit on the animals inside the lounge.

stoning at FLOS cause we were clueless, to wish for one of our instructors to come and provide lovely inspiration.

so many memories.

as a person. I learnt alot alot.

and, on a side note, my belay team must have been under a whole lot of strain. and I must have looked like a total idiot on top of the ropes.

oh, and to echo1, I never told you guys why I cried when I came down from that buoy thing right? it wasnt fear, it wasnt fatigue or anything. I never could say it, but it was tears of thanks, of being touched. that you guys were there for me, didnt give up on me. thankyou guys. really.

I shall stop here before drained supplies of tears flow again. you could say I am camp sick.

echo, I am packing everyone of you, into a special box of memories. I'm going to lock it up, and keep it deep in my mind, cause every single one of you mean so much to me, beyond all the conflicts, I'll keep our laughing tearing faces deep inside, cause that's how much you guys mean to me. I love you all, and thank you guys for everything that you've given me. we've grown since our first BTC. and I hope that when I say we've made our instructors proud of us, I'm not wrong.

it's such a perfect night, it doesnt feel quite right that this is our last night here with you.

I will remember, our camping days and friendships true.

it's just goodnight and not goodbye.

echo 2008, I love you guys. and I will miss you all dearly.

echo power! I'm missing our run-and-frighten instructors hugs alrdy. once at the end of BTC, once at the end of COALs. fittiing, no? group hugs! sheesh!

I would like to be an OAL. to give my juniors and friends the same gifts that my instructors gave me. but I know I cant. I know that I am a total idiot with outdoor activites, that I am not performing really well. I learnt my lesson well, from the pc board. I got my fingers burnt once. ought I risk it again?

but a part of me, yearns so much to give back to the school, the school which has given me so much.

Labels: COALs, debate

Saturday, November 22, 2008 @ 12:12 PM

looked through my emails this morning, and an old friend sent me a chain mail. as with all other chain mails, it had a story on top, and a threat that if you do not pass this story on, you will suffer ___ years of bad luck. below however, were a list of someones. e.g. someone wants to hug you, someone wants to be hugged by you.

what struck me most was this, at the bottom of the entire email.

someone
has faith in you

I really hope, this someone exists for me.

@ 11:28 AM

I realised, in the midst of the frantic preparations for COALs, I seem to have forgotten about my worries about the camp. this morning however, when I was looking through the pack list and making a mental to be bought, all the fears, insecurities and anxiety came flooding back.

I have faith in my instructors, my friends, my teamates. I hope that ultimately I wont come back with the thought, that I let myself down.

of all things, I will see this through, with my head held high. I wont cry. I wont. I will try to make this camp fufiling, for myself, for my group mates.

this is a promise to myself.

but the dull inkling of fear still remains..

and one things's for sure, I will miss every single silly, cute, irritating moments with echo. go echo, we've reached this point, our last chance to prove ourselves. we'll make the instructors proud, of us.

Friday, November 21, 2008 @ 9:05 PM

I love my clique. they are the best people alive, although sometimes we argue, we split up, but at the end of the day, we are still one. as demostrated today when we shared our very nice fried chicken. honestly, at the rate I am popping fast food, I will be severly overweight by the end of this holiday.

bel: I love you, honestly. you're one of the closest friends that I have ever managed to get, those whom I feel ok being myself with. I dont care. no matter if I am still around next year, you'd better keep me an empty slot so that we can go out and snuggle up in the bookstore k! gosh, that sounded wrong. but it's ok, your husband doesnt want you, and mine cant wait to give me away. ahh, I am going to miss walking with you down to the carpark and laughing at nonsensical things. and you bitching and berating loudly. heh, let's play stare again, and you are not allowed to cheat this time oy? (: muacks. dont cry the next time someone throws you a surprise dodobird!

and yes, highly interesting snippets of today included leenalee almost getting drunk on 13 liquer chocolates and bel trying to trick me into eating them, er, bel, got smell? Money No Enough is a highly stupid and lousy movie, and the subtitles are nonsense. TP got us interesting pencils from beijing, hurhur. Mahjong is also not my cup of tea.

what else?
oh, leenalee cannot do p5 maths, heh. and and, liuliu! get well soon k! cant go COALs with diahrrea! (:

@ 9:48 AM

yesterday was fun. yes, we finally completed our flag, and whilst it isnt perfect, that's just too bad, cause I like it very much. cause it has our sweat and blood, literally. that, and not counting the time and money and strength and patience that everyone had to put in. it's a team effort, whoo.

crashed alpha's meeting after echo's ended. and silly echo people all have this thing about cleaning up. sheesh! if all job options fail, I shall go be a cleaner. and on my resume I shall have this line: always clearing up rubbish. talked with erm, less than half of alpha. oh, shar has nice songs in her phone. and that shar is going to be very very disappointed next year, cause her "new" table partner is nothing like her "old" table partner. leena and her thing about people crying in front of her is so amusing.

finally a day off. I have never slept past 8 this entire week, and you call this the holidays. ohwellz. better productively busy than stupidly slack. boy, though I am going to enjoy my hour or so remaining of leisure time before I meet the clique and give a certain someone a surprise.

better late than never, and i know you wont see this till after your own birthday party by us ;
happy 14th, Isabel low (: oh, and the clique purposely didnt wish you on the actual day, on purpose, -winks-

Wednesday, November 19, 2008 @ 11:52 PM

this is a post for ranting and ventation. it is highly cautioned against that you do not read.

mailto:T^*&#%&@#%*(%&*(@#&%*&(*&(@*&R(*#&%
ok. time to start breathing again. you are so not worth my temper.

@ 4:11 PM

flag making.am exhausted. what else is there to say?

that I smell of glue cause we have used all the known glues and methods to join two pieces of corrugated board?
that finding out that Bravo has similar designs as us makes us feel down?
that sitting beside Gryphon doing their simple nice and unique flag is quite depressing?

that I am extremely tired and my world's spinning in front of me now?

that some people just cant lie properly, and it makes me damn irritated?

or that encouraging others when your heart isnt in it feels hypocritical?

I dont know. I am tired. really really tired.

but I know we can do it. we can, and we shall.
go echo. we've come so far together, abit more, abit more.

abit more tolerance, abit more patience. abit more time, abit more laughter. abit more, that's all we need.

tired confidence; that we can do it as a group.

and to all the other groups, jiayou for the rest of the journey towards COALs. one thing I learnt from COALs and BTC prep? that cedarians, no matter how bitchy, how irritating, how bimbotic we are and can be ; most of us are warm hearted, nice people who are always willing to help out, and be helped. Alpha, Bravo, Charlie, Delta, Falcon, Gryphon, Hawk, Indigo, cedarians, campers to the very end. Jiayou!

Now I need to go off for piano lessons, and it isnt a very happy prospect. and I doubt anyone will read this post, cause it is droning. but I needed it, so who cares. (;

Tuesday, November 18, 2008 @ 11:27 PM

reflections are annoying

I do not know how to do reflections that are to be submitted to instructors. I seriously dont know how. I cant possibly say I find the instructors oddly amusing at alot of moments and I have to reel in my laughter alot because they are amusing. I cant say that I wanted to join boat2 and disturb my husband and capsize the boat with leena and izah for the pure fun of it. I cant say how alot of campers noticed the unusually high interest from the instructors towards the dragonboating instructors. I cant say alot of things.

sheesh, am I destinied to become a word processing robot that spews out politically correct stuff? probably rephrased a thousand times, deleted paragraphs after paragraphs.

supposedly personal reflections. how, personal.

@ 10:01 PM

I finished doing whatever I am supposed to have done already. at least, the part that is urgent.

dragon boating was fun today, and that's that. fullstop. I shall not be a boring old nag and talk about details. though I did enjoy myself very much and especially the kind of bond that echo has. first time we actually sat down and ate together in a nonrushed environment where we can play. and play we did. "there's heat!" haha.

now I gotta go figure out how to write a nice politically correct but not printed from robotic minds reflection.

@ 9:03 PM

echo rocks, what more can I say? I've got stuff to do, things to rush, so I shall see if I have the time or energy to post properly later.

Sunday, November 16, 2008 @ 11:28 PM

clique: those I approached regarding CIP hours at St George's place, please sms me, call me, msn me asap.

to those people who need CIP hours and dont mind working with kids in the age range of preschool to p6, please also do the same above.

@ 9:50 PM

one sentence.
yet it left me at a loss what to reply.

with every stroke on the strings my fingers made; my gut protested once.
you were supposed to teach me.

church today, and we were constantly taught about the circular world. heh, yeaps that's how the speaker said it. I wonder if there is a squarish world? so evil of me. but such entertainment.

Saturday, November 15, 2008 @ 5:01 PM

got this from leena who got this from cassandra

q1) Does people treat you as side dish?
all the time, darling.

q2) What's your most favourite thing to do?
slacking, fooling around, reading, debating

q3) What is the first thing that comes to your mind of when you think of love?
broken hearts.

q4) What kind of boyfriend/girlfriend do you want?
if I knew, that person would be my boyfriend alrdy.

q5) Is there somebody in your heart right now?
yeah, memories. the real thing is in someone else's

q6) Do you believe that you can survive without money?
" Never, money makes the world go round! :) " - quote leena

q7) Are you afraid of pain?
depends, but I will moan and groan and make a fuss.

q8) What do you feel like doing now?
eating. like a hungry ghost.

q9) If there is someone you love, will you confess to him/her?
probably hint at it, not outright.

q10) List 5 things/people you dislike now.
1. Him
2. Her
3. They
4. It
5. In short, the world.

q11) What is your 5 most passionate things at the moment?
1. debate
2. friends
3. heart to heart conversations
4. you being here
5. Nothing

q12) If you have to eat 1 thing for your whole life, what would that be?
haha, SOUP!

q13) If you had a chance to be rich or happy, which one will you choose?
cant I be both?

14) If you have the chance, which part of your character would you like to change?
My dominance. but that's what's me in the first place, sigh

q15) If you are unhappy, what will you do?
depends, but I will just look happy anyway

6) Which country do you like the most?
outer space.

q17) Which is your favourite band?
noone, hurhur.

q18) Are you happy?
are you?

q19) Who's the best?
nobody

8 Ppl: shant be mean.

@ 4:50 PM

out with the chalet, in with the fever. sheesh.

finally did something to my hair to make it more manageable. thankgod my mom agreed, else I have to lug a headful of long hair to coals where I hear 2mins showers are in trend. it spells diaster. seriously?

went visiting to the hospital yesterday, interesting. much as I hate hospitals and the smell of antiseptic and occasional death, it is quite interesting to see that the hospital corridors are always brightly lit and there are always busy sounds and people bustling around. unlike the depiction in horror films. where it is always dark and you can see shapes drifting around. probably surgeon cloacks, hmm.

and horror on horror, I was watching ghost whisperers in the dayroom (at night, mind you). how, ghostly.

incoherent ramblings, that pink pill did funny things to my brain.

I watched, from another door as the two of you were talking. I could only walk back into the room, emptyhanded. I couldnt bring myself to walk past you two. I just, couldnt. time was supposed to heal wounds. but why does it seem to me that nothing is being done to wash it away?

@ 1:37 AM

for some weird reason, all the common blogs I usually surf, (obviously not from my own level) to find out about campfire auditions from a different perspective has either moved or has been locked! sheesh. did all of them get a tipoff we are reading their blogs?

hmm, come to think of it, I wont be surprised either.

@ 1:19 AM

thrashing turned out ok. yay. we shall continue being bonded, being honest and being cynical no? (: go sec2s going to be sec3s. whoo, upper sec, scary.

Thursday, November 13, 2008 @ 11:50 PM

I think that one of the greatest bliss in life is to be surrounded by friends and eating. be it screaming at ghost movies, settling past disputes with other levels and reacertaining friendships, I think I really enjoyed today's chalet. I love my el sec2 family of ai, and I love my cca. Joy posted two days ago that she loves her debate juniors. I love my seniors too. I may complain moan and groan to others about cca, about debate. but at the end of the day, I love every single one of them. hugs.

nothing like a day together without stress to make me realise that. only pity is that the sec4s werent officially invited, I quite wanted to speak to a certain senior. shant be paranoid anymore though, let's hope the thrashing session later wouldnt be bad, but whatever, we are still one family of love. with its unique hierachy and combination, each with her own flaws and strengths, complimenting each other.

on the other hand, there will always be regrets, and my regret now would be how I never ever cleareed up stuff with mal. a question mark left behind, good or bad, I never will know now. I still miss you mal. you and your uniqueness and questions that always help advance a debate case prep. I miss you, you and your shy manner, you and how you talk, think, speak. I miss you. I really do. what happened between us?

thrashing is about to take place. I wonder how it will turn out ultimately.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008 @ 10:46 AM

I've about learned my lesson, friend. your blog is quite ironic, havent you realised? the first thought I had was. are you talking about youself, bitch? I wanted to tag as anon, but I realised that it aint worth descending to your level. like to bitch so much? well, go ahead.

I am just hoping feverntly that we do not get into the same class, or that you do not become el exco. I wonder how el will become under you, but then again, I really aint that interested to find out? so dont bother.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008 @ 10:15 PM

this is a promised post.

me and sharianty dont get along seamlessly on all accounts, we are perfectly honest with each other, and we do not hide things from each other. we make it damn clear where we think the other needs to improve or anything, and trust me, I trust her more than any of the bitches spreading those nonsense.

all in all, I still love her and my el familyofai very much. tell me which family doesnt have disputes?

also, me and singyi have perfectly no problems with each other, and she is not the anon on my blog awhile back. she is not that kind of hypocritcal person k? she will not bitch about me behind and laugh with me infront.

bitches? game over, we dealt with it.

@ 8:04 PM

it's so hard to pretend that I am happy and gay all the time, when well, that's simply not the case. sure, I dont feel good too when she says whatever she says, but that's besides the point right? let's just not lose our focus and make a mountain out of this not so small molehill. just work as a team k? I want that for us.

I'm really tied. mentally. let down, perhaps.

need to settle stuff now, let's hope my mood stops plunging downwards.

Monday, November 10, 2008 @ 11:24 PM

today's echo meeting was funny, like a super sized combo pack. what staring down, from throwing the ball to passing the ball that makes the game worst than a , random burstings of laughter, nonsense. haha, but it's nice, and bond inducing, hmm. poor instructor alicia, subjected to insanity. and we were supposed to be quiet! haha, gosh.

day was extremely fun, but oweing to the fact that I am damn tired, maybe another day (:

at the end of coals, I cant be sure of concrete friendships, OAL title, or for that matter, anything. but what I do know I will have, is happy memories. for now, that's enough

Sunday, November 9, 2008 @ 10:37 PM

thank god for friends. to crap with, to terrorise, to be sacarstic to, to emo to. thank god for every single one of you (:

@ 6:49 PM

church today, nothing particularly worth commenting about. no odd touching moments, just acute embarrassment at typos on powerpoint slides.and someone ought to do something about sharing. sharing never does works out the way it should, hmm.

guitar course started. aint a total newbie at it, but I've never touched chords before. shouldnt be a problem, was always a question about perserverance right? was reminded of conversations not so long ago, of casual teasing and heart to heart conversations. you always pushed me to learn the guitar, to do things that sounds impossible to me like changing from specs to contacts. someone told me today that if I picked up the guitar, it would be my wife. it sounded so familiar, which is more to say than what you have become. the bus ride felt like a grinding mortar. how long can I take my insides contracting, I dont know.

I'm listening to you're not alone. how ironic that that's exactly how I feel, alone. told shar once that everytime I walk in a certain underground tunnel, I feel so lost and alone. so caught up in the rat race, so bound to live freely.

have stuff to do.

@ 12:58 AM

either something's wrong with the comp, or the echo blog has problems. I shall go pester someone tomorrow and see which is right.

you. you have been a wonderful friend, a great source of comfort by my side. dont give up k? I'd hate to see someone so strong collapse. dont, dont give in. not yet, sweet. remember us joking around and acting like a coupla of idiots, remember us being incharge and in control of the entire situation, giving pep talks before major performances and all that kind of nonsense. remember our outings when we just hang out and slack. remember, and smile, and laugh. dont cry, you dont know how worried I would be if you did. jiayou there silly one! hang on tight. meanwhile, call me if you need someone k?

oh, and someone randomly mentioned how my you's have so many personalities. that's exactly the point, the you's arent always directed at the same person?

I'm wonderfully tired, but my brain's on full blast mood. this is quite bad, no?

Friday, November 7, 2008 @ 11:10 PM

from up there to down here. tell me, does it delight you to dangle me on a string and play with it? am I a puppet? to be taken to where your fancy takes you to?

bitter disappointment, so vivid I could almost taste it. why? one word, a thousand question marks.

I dont even feel disheartened anymore. is it normal, I wonder.

I am shelving you away. family, debate, coals. no space left for you.

finding it so hard to smile naturally now. but I know, you'd have never sensed my change of moods.

I'm so tired of your games, love.

@ 8:34 PM

tired. really really tired. gahh. my body clock's haywire alrdy, bad!

echo meeting in the morning, and yes. we're finally done with that dance of ours, and everything's been runned through, so we shall sit and wait for tuesday to come. I am sure it wont be soo bad as it was infront of the instructors ya, we just need lots more practise (: that's a comfort at least. and since everything that requires planning has been more or less planned, I am sure we'll be breathing much easier. echo rocks ya? hugs people hugs! - actually, I am sure no one will read this, I am just having fun typing thoughts out. heh.

the mini-thrashing session that we had was good. cause finally a way to say things that we think. learnt my lesson sometime back from just ignoring this kinda matters huh. and, *cough cough* the presence of a certain somebody is enough to stop people from eatting lunch and entertain thoughts about skipping training eh? shalom should know what I am talking about, aww.

el sec2 outing. funny, our idea of bonding always coincides with frightening ourselves silly huh. first time we really bonded was during shutter, this time's coffin. what next, final destination? damn funny, me and nanthini do all sorts of nonsense, laugh when people like shar and van scream. nice movie, the storyline was quite good. what I learnt? face your fears square in the face, and dont try to play around with fate. hmm.

played around and ate. chickenrice, heh. and we're all exhausted, whew.

I am becoming incoherent. that's bad.

it was bound to happen, cant say I was surprised or shocked. but what I cant decide?

I wonder what you guys think about us now. I am content with where we are. but, is it worth the price of bond to improve? is it really?

mentally strong. perhaps holding on is enough.

Thursday, November 6, 2008 @ 11:44 PM

echo meeting in school bright and early in the morning. arrived in the foyer to hear a very excited singyi, who saw a certain somebody and made tulasi squeak. yes, squeak. see how I am surrounded by deranged people? haha, thank god darshana was there, so there was a semblance of sanity. I am so gonna get killed when people read this, but who the hell cares.

much as coals meeting is fun and entertaining and all, it is taking a toll on me. honestly. it's become an almost daily thing. alpha's doing such nonsense too.

and much as I am worried about the campfire item, I am sure we'll do fine ultimately. even if we dont, and cause the magic I word to roll eyes and give err, ok expressions, the fact that we have fun, is enough.

debate was fun, singapore judicial system. I am quite limited in this aespect. but I had fun. motion was interesting, and I dislike the way I have been speaking. this is bad. I am falling back on seniors' habits. not good, smack me. grr.

and to the familyofai, I am so sorry I am only able to join you guys really late tomorrow. thanks for understanding, muacks (:

I'm exhausted.

I really really wish upon a star, for more patience, lest I commit old errors again.

understanding, patience, and a fair amount of tolerance, is that too much to ask for?

geraldine, tolerance.

@ 11:34 PM

havent done somethings in awhile, hmm.

1. Do the following WITHOUT complains
2. Choose 6 people to do this after you completed yours
3. Leave a tag on the person's tagboard to say he/she have been tagged.
4. Start your post with "I have been tagged!" then do this

I have been tagged!

Currents
Current mood: somewhat tired
Current taste: in what?
Current clothes: tee and fbts
Current desktop: twilight, no, not that damn movie or book.
Current toenail Color: natural
Current time: 11.41pm
Current thoughts: I hope echo pulls through campfire auditions safely.

First
First best friend: shermaine
First crush: err?
First movie: Bush all mighty or something like that
First time clubbed: underaged!
First partner: I am not married
First kiss: which kind?

Lasts
Last cigarette: dont smoke, I dont like yellow teeth and bad breath
Last alcohol: vodka with sprite
Last car ride: dad!
Last crush: what's with the crush questions?
Last time clubbed: how interesting, first time club, second time club
Last partner: singel and unattached, darling.
Last phone call: coals related
Last CD played: exampieces for piano
Last song played: track 5, ha.
Last person kissed: my pillow
Last place gone to: kitchen, choc cake!

Have you ever
Have you ever dated one of your best friends: o.-
Have you ever been arrested: dont intend to
Have you ever been on TV: no, why do I want to be?
Have you ever kissed someone you don't know: happens only to people who drink and get drunk
Have you ever did drugs: panadol? plenty.

Places
Places you can be always seen at: schoooool
Places you like to go: home, specifically bedroom. bookstores, library, heh.
Places you'd like to visit: heaven

Things
Things you like to eat: pigs dont pick food.
Things you like to do: get the stupid downloading thing over and done with
Things you do when you get bored: do random stuff only bored people do.

the 6 people i choose to do this:
you and you and you. heh.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008 @ 8:33 PM

gahh I am bored. no wait, I am not exactly free since my timetable for the days are packed? but the nights bore me.

echo meeting today at zhihui's. then we moved to PP Macs. I swear I have been seeing way way way too much of that macs recently. cedarians ought to look for another one stop meeting place, else I am going to put on more and more pounds that will be the cause of my death.

and scandal scandal. I found out today that blackshoes and bronze badges dont really like school rules that much afterall, heh heh.

oh, random thought flow. if everyone accepted everyone else as they are at the moment, will there be peace in the world? I am not trying to play goody-twoshoes when I take her side. it's just that, I have seen and experienced first hand of not accepting people as they are, and I dont want it to happen during coals again. once is enough. wish wish nothing happens during the actual camp itself, I wont want to face any of the instructors otherwise.

Monday, November 3, 2008 @ 2:47 PM

I find people spewing vulgarities on their blogs utterly amusing. be it, effing hell, fucking hell, ****ing hell. like, hmm?

isnt fuck supposed to be sex? how can you engage in sexual acts with everything, especially ****ing irritating? does irritating even have reproductive organs? haha.

ok, so random.

Saturday, November 1, 2008 @ 2:02 PM

maybe it's the weather, or maybe it's just because of my mood. suddenly missing school with all its quirks with a pang.

be it mugging frantically, crapping at the canteen, doing stupid things that makes everybody laugh hysterically, raising eyebrow at stupid stuff, suanning people, being superdup sacarstic, rolling eyes at stupid lessons or lame jokes that teachers get in their minds to crack, addressing teacher by name. simple things like walking into the classroom and expecting to see familiar faces doing familiar things, drag

ging people down for a walk in the canteen, looking for missing people, figuring out why attendance isnt full, mugging at pp macs. simple things, I miss.

rushing cases, meeting outside the staffroom benches, being braindead, trying to seek help, getting help from teachers, mindless chatting about things going on in school. the thrill before the debate, the fear, the anxiety. court shoes that no normal human being can walk in, walking into some unfamiliar environment as a team, as a school. subway cookies, prata from the prata shop. all the weird spars that we will try not to panic for and fail miserably. I miss.

rushing off for yet another echo meeting, the last 10mins before assembly time at the canteen, asking permission for every single thing, including as leena phrases it, washing my damn hands. cheering at odd moments that turns us all into oddballs, expectancy ripe in the air, especially when you are blindfolded, observing things and getting question marks going off in your head; only to be answered later. not knowing how to react. to greet or not to greet? to be awkwardly formal or awkwardly informal? glances exchanged, underground communications. sense of bond from stranger status. helping people stick their name tags, own group or otherwise. people running to give you your tag, safety pinning, doing forfeits by seeing mushy songs. I miss.

these has already become part of school life. and I miss school life so much so much now.

protagonist

Geraldine
snow_ball1994@hotmail.com

~~coralite~~
cedarian
~~co-leader~~
~~exco, beloved~~
cedarELDDS;debator
sec3ELfamilyofai!
clique1H'07; 2H'08
Echo 2008 ; the ten of us, plus the four instructors <33

♥

The most important things are the hardest to say, because words diminish them.