♥ for all that we've done,

Friday, February 20, 2009 @ 8:39 PM

I love the OAIs. hoho, instructors are cool people. especially when we fluster and bluster about weird stuff like bandana color. no pink please! so uncool!

mhmg.livejournal.com

will be posting here from now (:

Thursday, February 19, 2009 @ 8:02 PM

gradual move to LJ.

@ 4:23 PM

belay school today was, erm, not too good.it IS annoying. honestly. but then again, I saw how nice my leaders are, so I shall stop being so mean. (: and I heard an extrememly amusing description coming from someone I never expected would say it!

lazy afternoon, honestly. I am in no mood to do anything. hoho. ss and hist!

Wednesday, February 18, 2009 @ 8:29 PM

Yes Mam, lesson learnt.

I saw today how a leader should be. it's hard to admit that you are wrong, and that you are sorry. leader to instructor especially, with the lines and all. I doubt you will ever read this, but you earned my respect. it mustnt have been easy, I doubt it ever would be, but for you to have done that..

thought through the entire matter when I was going for piano. and I straightened out my thoughts. shall take it as a lesson well learnt. MP was only following school SOP, and well, I should have followed the SOP as well, and found out the format properly before submitting it. so it IS my fault. and if I am going to think that she has something against me, well everything is going to look like that, no? it's the mindset that makes the matter. and I am just going to learn learn and learn throughout this journey. and to learn, an open heart is needed. I am going to find it in me, to have an open heart. I will.

studying with leena and mich plus kellie made me laugh, alot. hoho, the retardacy of the afternoon shall be kept in within the four of us, but laughing at ahlian languages in teenage magazines are really amusing. bibiboi! HAHA, god. people actually use such language! michelle and me is going to start a "stop using engrish campaign"!

achoo, zhihui: jiayou k? dont be sad or disappointed or angry. there is still a long way to go before you can say your jobs are done. must jiayou! dont disappoint IA k zhihui? remember our promise and our wooden rings! -bear hug!-

suka: sometimes all it takes it a little push for a class to fall nicely together. not everything can be done by a single person. go go go suka! bring your gayness to your class and make them bond! monitress is not an accidental thing. you can, and so you must. dont be angry, cause anger clouds judgement. -hugs-

ok, ss. I hate my ugly notes!
and I just snapped at TQ. damn it, what is wrong with me today. ):

Tuesday, February 17, 2009 @ 8:51 PM

I'll do my part as a senior, and my best as a junior.

right now? that's all I can promise.

disappointment. such a bitter pill. what goes around comes round, ______.

@ 8:11 PM

today's a bad day. the kind of day when everyone around you looks unhappy, laughter is scarce and short. the kind of day that makes you wonder when the end of the day will come. even my usual highlight of the week isnt that bright anymore.

debate feels like something I have to do.

I just hate not being able to talk to seniors properly. spoilt I am, used to talking to my seniors on an almost equal level

and I dislike being rolled eyes at when it aint my fault.

I dont feel like worrying if 3S will do fine tomorrow for campfire, and if we will screw up like crap on thursday during belay school.

and here I thought my mind was so tired I am past the stage of caring.

ok, self indulgence in emo-ing is over. we're just gonna face tomorrow with a slightly better mindset, no?

damn it. I think I have been cranky for way too long.

Monday, February 16, 2009 @ 11:47 PM

I love history. and I am having a major headache over a certain case.

@ 11:00 PM

at times I fear I am too harsh with you guys, but at other times I cant help but feel that being harsher might help you guys better.

torn between guilt and hopes on you guys.

Saturday, February 14, 2009 @ 11:34 PM

cedar fiesta on vday, I think it was quite a success, judging from the crowds that swelled by the hour. thank god we managed to dunk Mr Chia and I happily got to see Mr Kang got dunked as well. (:

spent most of the day at the woofball area, and it was quite fun, especially towards the end. I wanted to get wet, but not so wet! haha, it was really fun though, and for once, I really felt like I belonged to the OAL board, and was not just another onlooker, hoho. I have crazy leaders who really let loose when they play. hoho.

the haunted house was amusing. was thrown facts like how many people cried and how scary it was, and the suspense was so ripe in the air when we were awaiting our turn. the actual trip didnt turn out to be as scary though, fun as it was to laugh at michkoh screaming and leenalee screaming right along. and hanan's now officially my "haunted" partner, I held her so tight, I was so scared she would go missing! (:

so, happy vday guys! once a year, please do gorge yourself with cookies, chocs and muffins. random note, why dont anyone give pizzas on vday?

and thank you all for all the little notes and chocs yea!

and I look at the stars and wonder if you are looking at them as well, wherever you are.

I remember the last one, and all I can do is sigh softly in my mind.

my expression did not change, but my heart lurched. did you realise when you met my eyes today?

Friday, February 13, 2009 @ 11:11 PM

let's clear things up abit. I do not have a boyfriend. I am single, damn it. now shut up.

this started out with me being mildy amused, now I am annoyed. very very annoyed. thanks people, it's spreading to my parents, and if anything happens to the love of my life namely freedom, heads are gonna roll. take my word for that.

so get it into your thick skulls.

and I am a lousy belayer. ok, I need to change that bit, cause that is not good. things went ok, and thank you lots to those who helped to put up balloons yea! (:

shall go do vday stuff. and I dislike people with maths trying to be good at teaching maths. mr khoo please come back faster.

Thursday, February 12, 2009 @ 10:40 PM

it's traumatising to know that we are to be tested on belay skills tomorrow.
and that I am not done with valentine's stuff. and I am still doing ss. and I have no idea how to make my essay longer. hoho.

hoho, indeed.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009 @ 11:40 PM

you seem so strong, so determined, with the ability to grit the teeth and plow on. yes the word plow is chosen consciously. but even as I admire this ability of yours, and even love you for it, you're worrying me. holding on too tightly can kill a person's spirit. and even as you laugh and joke so much, I see the saddness in your eyes, the strain of your smile. and the way you lapse into silence when you think no one is looking only to brighten up when I, or any other make their presence known by walking nearer to you. I see, and I worry. even as you smile brightly and tell me that you're fine.

you know who you are. and you know I'll always be here for you. I love you, hon. keep going, and never ever break your promise to me. our pact. dont break it, for I dont know what I would do if you did.

@ 9:28 PM

oh and just so I remember the nonsense of it all.

I GOT CAUGHT FOR MY SKIRT DURING SPOT CHECK. I CANNOT BELIEVE IT. AND I AM GONNA WHINE FOR AT LEAST 20 HOURS. people like mich koh and tianqi pass, and I fail.

O-M-G. maybe being short sometimes is good. sheeeesh!

and leena got caught for a dirty tie! OHMYGOD. HAHAHA.

@ 9:10 PM

gave cca a miss today, and went vday shopping at PS, where the most embarrassing thing happened. I am going to use my tie to hide my face the next time I see a certain two leaders.

walks into daiso, knowing that leenalee wanted photo frames

G: eh leena! -points at a super duper cute photo frame-
L: eh! how you can you point at a leader? -SUPER LOUDLY-
G: - takes 1 full minute to comprehend and starts denying equally loudly, laughing along with TQ at that cute photoframe, only to look up and see someone who was indeed a leader.- is stunned and lapses into stunned silence
TQ: - still doesnt comprehend and continues laughing, at the photoframe -
L: leena is shocked into silence at our aduacity for supposedly pointing and laughing at a leader, together.
TQ: comprehends a full minute later and lapse into silence as well

all three beat silent retreat into an aisle looking very interestedly at photoframes.
gazes at the cashier 3mins later and heaves sigh of relief, thought they had paid AND left.

hears a minute later,hushed whisper saying: are they stalking us?

am amused and decide to retreat further into the store, hoho.

HAHA, I enjoyed my shopping trip today, despite sore shoulders and aching heads and people making me holding auntie like bags claiming I am an auntie anyway. (:

I love leena and tianqi. ok maybe not love, but yea I actually do. hoho, sounds damn wrong right leenalee?
especially with my newest nickname hoho!

ok, back to vday gifts I should have started on earlier. and leena's right, money never is enough!

Monday, February 9, 2009 @ 8:42 PM

I think mtnc headache is summed up in one word - woofball banner.
no, not that it is extremely difficult to do or anything, but with the crazy schedules of the three instructors that never seem to have an intersection point, working something out is something surely of a headache. but I think we've managed quite well as it is (: all three of us put something into it, even if it doesnt look the nicest. I'm proud of the banner, and I am proud of the three of us. truly, how ever many times I get pissed at little details that just jumps up and whacks your face and makes you scream. let's take a picture with THE mtnc banner. hoho, so bimbotic. badi I hope you are reading this. and jinrong, thank god sometimes you are there, I think we will just die since I cant draw for the love of my life. we shall be the terror of the toilets during oac hoho!

and mirna and gautami makes really great company. let's really go drink aloevera one day and not cheat my feelings and drink ribena k!

ok, back to work, but this time it is with a smile on my face. :)

Sunday, February 8, 2009 @ 9:15 PM

was just talking to someone a minute ago. I could hate you for putting her through this. how could you? have you really changed beyond what I know?

@ 9:08 PM

you're so distant now, I dont even know you anymore. it scares me, this change in you.

damn, v'day presents. I dislike shopping. I hate shopping. but I am going to do something nice. and only to a few people who really matters to me. hoho, so if you get anything from me, you ought to know what it means, no?

spate of moodiness, and it really aint any female hormones at work either.

I find church a perfect stage for acting nowadays.

I miss you, even as I know there's someone else you care more about. it's more than one year already. and I still close my eyes when I think of you.

I put my life in your hands lord. beyond all these, comfort me.

Friday, February 6, 2009 @ 10:07 PM

we lost.

I cant help but feel down. I tried my best, but this is not the best that I could have delivered. I could have done better, should have done better. I feel so apologetic towards the team. sorry seniors. sorry reka. sorry joy and jolene, sorry chud and poohja.

tired.

more rounds coming up. ought I speak or back out?

Wednesday, February 4, 2009 @ 9:11 PM

and we'll walk in the fields with our heads held high, cause aint nobody gonna break our stride. I feel prepared for friday. whoo.

did I make a right choice telling you what I knew? was it cruel, I wonder.

Tuesday, February 3, 2009 @ 7:41 PM

before I plunge headfirst into the sea of information.

my only thought as I walked home was: even I am going to get slaughtered, I am going to get killed with my head held high. acsi, we're not to be pushed over.

and note to self, pester orienteering and cc to teach me stuff, hoho.

Monday, February 2, 2009 @ 10:58 PM

was blog surffing in between cases, and found most of my birthday dedications (; the sweetest ones are here for futher reference when I want to feel loved (: shall do a proper birthday post when I have breathing space.

from bel low:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GERALDINE TAN LE TING♥
aka dugong, dajie, so-much-more-names-I-can-think-of-but-not-too-nice-to-put-it-here :D

Jiayou for OAC2009 Instructor, although I don't want to call you instructor. I want to call you dumbo!
Jiayou for studies, debate, etcetcetcetc. (you have a lot of commitments)
Continue keeping your hamsters alive and, do take care of Leena, Sherilyn, Tianqi, Mardiana well. Haha!
Love you <3

ok, I am super duper lazy to paste more. hoho. (:

Sunday, February 1, 2009 @ 4:50 PM

I surrender
Take my fears and inhibitions
All my burdens, my ambitions
You can use it all

do with it as you will.

protagonist

Geraldine
snow_ball1994@hotmail.com

~~coralite~~
cedarian
~~co-leader~~
~~exco, beloved~~
cedarELDDS;debator
sec3ELfamilyofai!
clique1H'07; 2H'08
Echo 2008 ; the ten of us, plus the four instructors <33

♥

The most important things are the hardest to say, because words diminish them.